Good morning, students of Chinese philosophy, and welcome to your worst nightmare.
We start the day with
@Hollywood Couturier on the clock and checking his PMs,
@Striiker on deck,
@Lord Defect on the lido defect, oh, excuse me, I mean the lido DECK, and GKJ hitting the bong super, super hard on the lido afterdeck.
When I was going to bed last night I found out that it was time for another Windows update. I of course put it off until this morning, thinking I could sneak the morning announcements in before running the update, but this thing is barely working, so I am going to have to run it as soon as I send this, if I am even able to send this. I have a bigger problem, though. My typing has gone to absolute shit, and I am looking for something (or someone) to blame. One excuse is that the laptop is on my left side on an end table, so I am sort of twisted (literally, physically, but also figuratively, mentally) when I type. That doesn't help. I have dropped the laptop a few times, and some of the keys aren't as responsive as one would like, so that's another thing. I also bought the f***er in Thailand, so I am not sure the layout is the same as we are all used to. It has to account for the Thai "alphabet," every single letter/symbol of which is basically a lower-case "n" or the number "5." So when a Thai person writes something to you, it looks like this:
"nnnnn nnnn nnnnn nnnn nnn nnnnnnn555555555555"
The number "5" is pronounced "ha" in Thai, so "555" is their version of "lol" - when you are flirting with a Thai girl and want to acknowledge that she said something hilarious, in order to make her feel good about herself and ultimately make her horny for you, you just keep adding 5s at the end of your messages. It's pretty much flawless as a means of seduction. So now you know. You're welcome.
I'm going to update this bastard now, but not everything is terrible - I saw a bunny this morning that the cats hadn't killed and eaten yet, so that's cool. Make sure you shop while I'm away. Remember that I will cut a bitch.