NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE NINE! Part ONE!

Discussion in 'Philadelphia Flyers' started by Captain Dave Poulin, May 25, 2021.

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  1. JojoTheWhale (not punching bags)

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    It must be f***ing exhausting disliking as many people as some of you do. :laugh:
     
  2. Captain Dave Poulin Imaginary Cat

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    I use spite as fuel, so for me it is actually energizing.
     
  3. Magua Poor defensively

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    555
     
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  4. Hurricane28 Meteorologist/Flyers STH

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  5. DancingPanther Undersized Puck Mover Sponsor

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    Going with Christian Ehrhoff on this one because Gary Thorne in the old NHL games would just yell his name all the time

    AIRRRHOFF. Me and my friends still do it today. So dumb. So great. @BernieParent
     
  6. mja Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt

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    This is Marty f***ing Havlat we're talking about. f*** that guy.
     
  7. Captain Dave Poulin Imaginary Cat

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    Good morning, John Q. Public Jr., and pass on my best wishes to your famous father.

    [​IMG]

    We start the day with @BernieParent on the clock with some great ideas only his vey closest friends are privy to, and a tiny young man who I am very proud of for getting his pick in last night. @DancingPanther, AKA @PantsingAnswer, on deck, and @Hurricane28 on the lido deck, and then ajgoal on the lido afterdeck. You know how I told you about my typing problems? You should see how bad it is in the mornings when I am half asleep and my back is f***ed from a night of twisting urine-centric nightmares and I'm sitting here all cocked (phrasing) to the side like some sideways mongoose.

    Anyf***, last night was Asian Cinema Night, right, but I didn't actually get to watch any Asian Cinema, so it was just Night. Keep your shirts on, I'll tell you what happened. See, the other day I got all clever, because I found out how to set VLC as my default video player, so instead of having to hit "Open With" every time I wanted to watch a movie, I could just double-click on the bitch. Last night was the first time since the switch that I tried to watch something that I had to go get subtitles for (my "Fairy Tail" eps come with them embedded). So I go get the subtitles, but when I go to see them in the folder, they have the VLC pylon icon. I'm sitting here and I'm like, quote, "The f***?" I couldn't add the bastards. Long story less long, I just uninstalled VLC. I'll re-install it later, and I won't make it the default player. Because apparently shit-typing sideways mongooses can't have nice things.

    I do have some good news, though. There are three matches in the Euros today, starting this morning at 9 a.m. your time on ESPN. Coverage starts at 8:30, and it will be as terrible as the commentary during the game, but don't let it put you off. You get used to tuning that horse shit out, and if you can't, you can just rage at the TV, same as with the Gargantuan Human Penis. Taylor Twellman went to my high school, but don't hold that against us - most of us really are actual geniuses. Even though Twellman will be involved somehow, the USMNT won't, thank Almighty F***.

    Enjoy your Saturday. Or, if you prefer, don't.
     
  8. Hollywood Couturier Shakira Stan

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    That guy suggested that Turkey losing 3-0 to Italy yesterday was a good thing for their path to advancing out of the group stage.
     
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  9. Captain Dave Poulin Imaginary Cat

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    All I can tell you is that he didn't learn anything like that in high school.
     
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  10. BernieParent In misery of redwings of suckage for a long time

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    It's a special kind of start to a Saturday when you see "Captain Dave Poulin mentioned you in a post in the thread NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE NINE! Part ONE! It's doubly special when you're doing end duty and have two picks to make. So here goes ...

    "The Tampa Bay FireSticks are pleased to introduce our Franchise Notable Fan, American business magnate, investor, and philanthropist, Mr. Warren Buffett.

    [​IMG]

    "Mr. Buffet is currently the chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway. He is considered one of the most successful investors in the world and has a net worth of over $100.6 billion as of April 2021, making him the world's seventh-wealthiest person. We know that he is also a sports fan of at least one Florida franchise (simmer down @BiggE; not yours):

    [​IMG]

    "We particularly admire Mr. Buffet's charitable work. He donated an estimated $2.8 billion to charity and has given away approximately $25 billion to worthy domestic and international causes over the course of his investing career. He has pledged to give away 99% of his wealth. We will be very proud to welcome Mr. Buffet to FireSticks games and other franchise events, and if he happens to have some conversational financial advice, we'll be all ears."

    Pick 2 coming in a few minutes.
     
  11. Lord Defect Secretary of Blowtorching

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    Good morning555555
     
  12. BiggE Dave, Chuck, Alain & Michel, why God, why?

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    Just imagine how much weed and meth he could buy. The possibilities are breathtaking
     
  13. BernieParent In misery of redwings of suckage for a long time

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    "For our second and penultimate selection of this draft round, the Tampa Bay FireSticks are exceptionally delighted and enthusiastic about the announcement of our Wildcard pick. We had no clue what to select, given how expansive this topic is, but we were encouraged in recent conversation with @DancingPanther, whom we admire with @FlyerNutter and other healthcare professionals on our Board. We select the cure for cancer as our wildcard. The FireSticks ownership, like most of you, have been deeply affected by this scourge through the loss of loved ones.

    "As DP knows more than most here, medical science has made great advances in being able to work against cancer at not just a molecular but a genetic level and the current prospect of greatly reducing the terrible burden of this horrible, horrible disease is significant. We should say diseases because the different types work in very different ways.

    "What we are drafting, then, is complete and absolute knowledge of the mechanisms through which each type of cancer develops and spreads and the exact methods to eradicate them rapidly, efficiently, and painlessly. No surgery, no chemotherapy or other treatments that are often worse than the cancer itself, no agonizing waiting, testing, and biopsies.

    "We will, of course, make this knowledge freely available to all healthcare organizations with the provision that it be used for free to all patients everywhere.

    "It is not our nature to use such language, and we hope His Holiness will absolve us of this profanity ..."

    [​IMG]

    "but f*** cancer, once and for all, in the QuackVerse, the multiverse, every verse, chorus, and bridge, now and forever."
     
  14. BernieParent In misery of redwings of suckage for a long time

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  15. Captain Dave Poulin Imaginary Cat

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    See what I mean? Greatness. F*** cancer.
     
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  16. Captain Dave Poulin Imaginary Cat

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    The commentary in this match is unspeakably execrable.

    EDIT: Seriously, this is deadly f***ing ear poison.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2021
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  17. BiggE Dave, Chuck, Alain & Michel, why God, why?

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    Awesome pick! ❤️
     
  18. BiggE Dave, Chuck, Alain & Michel, why God, why?

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    Worse than Edwards and Shitbrick?
     
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  19. kudymen Hakstok was a fascist clique hiver lickballs.gif

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    Just like last time, I came here for some sanity and the first thing I see is hate for the most fragile man in the world, Martin Havlát? :(
     
  20. ajgoal Almost always never serious

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    Wait til I make our next pick
     
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  21. CanadianFlyer88 Knublin' PPs

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    Not all Czechs are likeable. :p:

    But, good news! Celebrate in the fact that a likeable Czech won the French Open today!
     
  22. Captain Dave Poulin Imaginary Cat

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    It's as bad, but for different reasons.
     
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  23. kudymen Hakstok was a fascist clique hiver lickballs.gif

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    Oooh and she beat a Russian at that. Beautiful Saturday
     
  24. kudymen Hakstok was a fascist clique hiver lickballs.gif

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    I am on page 2 of the Roster thread. Send help
     
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  25. DancingPanther Undersized Puck Mover Sponsor

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    Janne Niinimaa. Great sounding name. Moving on to @Hurricane28
     
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