NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE NINE! Part ONE!

[DancingPanther]

Just be careful. They might get sun there and that causes havoc on ice.

We can't know for sure until the rink is built though and the game starts.

We should be fine so long as puck drop is scheduled for 3pm, the sunniest and hottest part of the day

 

[Magua]

The Honolulu Ghibli are taking their outdoor game location talents to......Fuji Five Lakes.

Unless you have the galaxy brain of Gary Bettman, outdoor hockey in Hawaii doesn't make much sense. So, the Ghiblets go to our home away from home, the Land of the Rising Sun (but for hockey purposes, more like the Land of the Setting Sun). We will head west of Tokyo to iconic Mt. Fuji! Convenient location, breathtaking scenery, not one but five lakes to possibly set up shop -- could you ask for more?

@Rebels57 -- konnichiwa

 

[Rebels57]

Team: PORTLAND FOG

Category: TEAM CHEERLEADER

Selection: WILL SMITH

Few human beings are as likeable as Will Smith. I want this guy in my corner.

Plus it reunites him with FOG Rinkside Reporter JEFF GOLDBLUM. That'll come in handy when the aliens invade.

@pit back to you

 

[Magua]

Team: PORTLAND FOG

Category: TEAM CHEERLEADER

Selection: WILL SMITH

Few human beings are as likeable as Will Smith. I want this guy in my corner.

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Plus it reunites him with FOG Rinkside Reporter JEFF GOLDBLUM. That'll come in handy when the aliens invade.

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@pit back to you

Will Smith by Game 20:

 

[Rebels57]

Will Smith by Game 20:

Game 70 through through 82 when we go on a hot streak that will either sneak us into the playoffs or just ruin our draft pick.

 

[DancingPanther]

Will Smith doesn’t have to cuss in his raps to sell records
Well, I do
So f*** him and f*** you too

 

[Rebels57]

Will Smith doesn’t have to cuss in his raps to sell records
Well, I do
So f*** him and f*** you too

Stop it with your Eminem bullshit

 

[Hurricane28]

Back from the golf vacation. Didn't play as well as I wanted, but made progress towards the end. Just beautiful weather the entire trip. Literally started to rain after we got off 18 on the last day which was kind of funny.

Keeping in the golf spirit...it will never happen but outdoor game location would be Augusta National. Play a little pond hockey, and find a way to maintain a good ice surface.

And we will take D Jaroslav Spacek

 

[pit]

GM Doug: Press conference in the middle of a round. Sure, I've got nothing better to with my time.
Reporter: It's been noted that a cheerleader hasn't been selected yet. How do you leave such an important morale boost until this late in the draft?
GM Doug: Well, I'll tell ya. It's because I'm smart and you're dumb.
Reporter: I don't see how that answ-
GM Doug: You see, I'm not just looking at the options out there. I'm looking at my fellow GMs. I'm trying to suss out where they will pick what they will pick. It's a complex mental dance - intellectual ballroom, if you will, and you knobs behind your microphones are out there doing the ding-dong two-step.
Reporter: I find you rude.
GM Doug: I find I don't care. And if you don't believe me, smoothbrain, I'll pick right here and now just to show you how good I am.
Reporter: Alright, do it then.
GM Doug: Ready? Watch the magic.

Ok, seriously, the Chimpanzees pick for team cheerleader the man whose enthusiasm can't be dampened, someone who will win you over with their charms and wit, and a fella who just won't quit:

Ted Lasso.

GM Doug: And when you need motivation...

GM Doug: He brings it in spades. So, take that so-called report. GM Doug out.

Reporter: Is he going to tell @CanadianFlyer88 that he is up? Guess not.

 

[CanadianFlyer88]

I like the simplicity that someone like Ollie Williams brings to a weather forecast. So, in the same spirit, the Seattle Sockeyes are thrilled to select international sensation, Freddy the Forecaster, as our weather person.







@Captain Dave Poulin gets the baton.

 

[DancingPanther]

Stop it with your Eminem bullshit

Respect one of the goats

 

[Rebels57]

Respect one of the goats

I actually do respect Em, but I do not respect your Em fanboying

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

My Wildcard pick is super simple and straightforward. It is neither wild, nor a card. It is not Maximum Chaos. It is not an attempt to "cleverly" circumvent the rules or "dominate" or whatever. It's a way to heal a deep cut, to make the incomplete whole.

Team Wildcard - Hobbes

@BiggE make it rain apathy and beer.

 

[BiggE]

The Methgators, badly in need of both coffee and weed, select defenseman Ching Johnson. I Ching, you Ching, we all Ching, for your Johnson

 

[BiggE]

@Hollywood Couturier , save us, you are our only hope

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Good morning, students of Chinese philosophy, and welcome to your worst nightmare.

We start the day with @Hollywood Couturier on the clock and checking his PMs, @Striiker on deck, @Lord Defect on the lido defect, oh, excuse me, I mean the lido DECK, and GKJ hitting the bong super, super hard on the lido afterdeck.

When I was going to bed last night I found out that it was time for another Windows update. I of course put it off until this morning, thinking I could sneak the morning announcements in before running the update, but this thing is barely working, so I am going to have to run it as soon as I send this, if I am even able to send this. I have a bigger problem, though. My typing has gone to absolute shit, and I am looking for something (or someone) to blame. One excuse is that the laptop is on my left side on an end table, so I am sort of twisted (literally, physically, but also figuratively, mentally) when I type. That doesn't help. I have dropped the laptop a few times, and some of the keys aren't as responsive as one would like, so that's another thing. I also bought the f***er in Thailand, so I am not sure the layout is the same as we are all used to. It has to account for the Thai "alphabet," every single letter/symbol of which is basically a lower-case "n" or the number "5." So when a Thai person writes something to you, it looks like this:

"nnnnn nnnn nnnnn nnnn nnn nnnnnnn555555555555"

The number "5" is pronounced "ha" in Thai, so "555" is their version of "lol" - when you are flirting with a Thai girl and want to acknowledge that she said something hilarious, in order to make her feel good about herself and ultimately make her horny for you, you just keep adding 5s at the end of your messages. It's pretty much flawless as a means of seduction. So now you know. You're welcome.

I'm going to update this bastard now, but not everything is terrible - I saw a bunny this morning that the cats hadn't killed and eaten yet, so that's cool. Make sure you shop while I'm away. Remember that I will cut a bitch.

 

[Lord Defect]

Good morning, students of Chinese philosophy, and welcome to your worst nightmare.

We start the day with @Hollywood Couturier on the clock and checking his PMs, @Striiker on deck, @Lord Defect on the lido defect, oh, excuse me, I mean the lido DECK, and GKJ hitting the bong super, super hard on the lido afterdeck.

When I was going to bed last night I found out that it was time for another Windows update. I of course put it off until this morning, thinking I could sneak the morning announcements in before running the update, but this thing is barely working, so I am going to have to run it as soon as I send this, if I am even able to send this. I have a bigger problem, though. My typing has gone to absolute shit, and I am looking for something (or someone) to blame. One excuse is that the laptop is on my left side on an end table, so I am sort of twisted (literally, physically, but also figuratively, mentally) when I type. That doesn't help. I have dropped the laptop a few times, and some of the keys aren't as responsive as one would like, so that's another thing. I also bought the f***er in Thailand, so I am not sure the layout is the same as we are all used to. It has to account for the Thai "alphabet," every single letter/symbol of which is basically a lower-case "n" or the number "5." So when a Thai person writes something to you, it looks like this:

"nnnnn nnnn nnnnn nnnn nnn nnnnnnn555555555555"

The number "5" is pronounced "ha" in Thai, so "555" is their version of "lol" - when you are flirting with a Thai girl and want to acknowledge that she said something hilarious, in order to make her feel good about herself and ultimately make her horny for you, you just keep adding 5s at the end of your messages. It's pretty much flawless as a means of seduction. So now you know. You're welcome.

I'm going to update this bastard now, but not everything is terrible - I saw a bunny this morning that the cats hadn't killed and eaten yet, so that's cool. Make sure you shop while I'm away. Remember that I will cut a bitch.

Good morning

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

We have decided to be a team of the people and select... Rob Lowe as our Team Notable Fan... but in typical Rob Lowe fashion we acknowledge that he is a fan of the badge above all else. He is a fan of the Quackverse and will be shared with the league and not just be a fan of the Desert Ducks. He can show up at random games sporting the badge on his hat all he wants.

@Striiker Low(e) and behold, you're up.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

We have decided to be a team of the people and select... Rob Lowe as our Team Notable Fan... but in typical Rob Lowe fashion we acknowledge that he is a fan of the badge above all else. He is a fan of the Quackverse and will be shared with the league and not just be a fan of the Desert Ducks. He can show up at random games sporting the badge on his hat all he wants.

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@Striiker Low(e) and behold, you're up.

I still think it's so f***ing funny that he sat there with an NFL hat on

 

[CanadianFlyer88]

The Methgators, badly in need of both coffee and weed, select defenseman Ching Johnson. I Ching, you Ching, we all Ching, for your Johnson
View attachment 446140

@Magua already took him, but used a different nickname on the first page.

 

[mja]

@Magua already took him, but used a different nickname on the first page.

Did he ever play himself in a movie?

 

[BiggE]

@Magua already took him, but used a different nickname on the first page.

Different Johnson. Ching’s first season was 1926. Moose was earlier.

 

[Striiker]

Notable Fan - Vin Diesel

@Lord Defect you're up

 

[Lindberg]

Notable Fan - Vin Diesel

@Lord Defect you're up

Damn.. Dad bods are in!

 

[BiggE]

Notable Fan - Vin Diesel

@Lord Defect you're up

Ew