She is from the states got married here and had a family here. Many families at the border are NOT allowed to visit when driving over.
OK. Let's focus on the "she" that you mentioned now in your post.
If "she" is a Canadian citizen living in United States, and "she" is visiting another immediate family member who is also a Canadian citizen living in Canada, then "she" would be allowed to travel to Canada. "She" would have to quarantine for 14-days upon arriving in Canada.
Citizenship is a key here.
If either party is not a Canadian citizen in the scenario described in the paragraph above, then I think it would not be allowed.
Although I don't know for sure, if the situation was reversed whereby a U.S. citizen that lives in Canada wants to visit an immediate family member in the U.S. who is also a U.S. citizen, then I think that is probably allowed as well. I'm not 100% sure of that, but Canada/U.S. regulations are very reciprocal in this kind of situation. I know these things because I've been dealing with these things both personally and professional for a few decades.
I didn't understand most of the rest of your post, but hopefully this clarifies & is helpful.