So, I leave my office, the elevator immediately gets stuck for 45 minutes, and the entire time I need to use the washroom. Decide that it's probably best to not use an elevator to get back up to my floor in my building as I'm about to **** my pants. Everything kind of settles down, so I go to the train to take it the few stops back to my place as I'm sure I can hold it.
Anddd, yep, the train breaks down in the middle of stops and I'm unable to get off to handle my business. That takes about 25 minutes to sort out, and by the time I get off at my destination, I'm basically holding my ass cheeks together to make it home. Takes about 10 minutes to get home, and it's a struggle the whole way. I get home, drop my keys several times in the panic but finally get into my apartment to find my girlfriend, who has told me that our toilet is broken. I decide the best bet is to use the sink, cause I just have to go. It happens, not happy about it but it happens. I decide to turn on the light to see the damage, but accidentally hit the garb-orator switch that's beside it and it shoots out everywhere, in my mouth, eyes, on the floor, and stove - everywhere.
Anyways, none of this actually happened. It just sounds like a vacation compared to watching the Oilers play anymore.