In honor of bring your child to work day (4/25/19), Gary Bettman brings his daughter to the draft and intends to use her as a human shield. The idea being, the owners/GMs of the clubs won’t act poorly in front of his daughter on stage. This once proud man is broken and a hollow casting of himself, hiding behind literal children to bypass what is sure to be unpleasant, unnecessary, unprovoked harassment. That Elvis guy really did a number on Bettman last time Vegas selected.
GMGM walks up to the stage, and nods at both Bettman and his daughter, Laura, as he passes them in stride. He assumes a position behind the lectern and clears his throat. The crowd boos, an uneven chorus as only the staunchest Vancouver natives/affiliated NHL fans are left in the arena. Most of the folks in the stands are draft picks hoping to be selected and their families, none of those people would boo a potential new boss.
GMGM: VANCOUVER, the rest of the plebian NHL. I’ve been inspired by the cooperation and beneficial partnerships between multiple organizations here today. In that same spirit of recognition, I’d like to congratulate ME for being the architect of the Stanley Cup Winning Washington Capitals! And because I am SO great, I also built the previous runner-up VEGAS GOLDEN KNIGHTS! Truly, if ever there was a more obvious recipient of the GM of the year award than MYSELF, no one could definitively say.
But like I said, teams working together is good for everybody. So, the Vegas Golden Knights are proud to work again with the Cup Champs, and invite Mr. Brian MacLellan to the stage!
The Capitals GM seems puzzled, but decides to take the invite. He begins to walk to the stage and one can observe him nodding and smiling to himself about being recognized. GMGM looks at Mr. MacLellan and smiles. Clears his throat and continues talking.
GMGM: GMBM and I go back a long ways. Both Guelph boys, born in the same year, who attended Bowling Green University together. I brought him to the Capitals as my AGM, and he succeeded me as the GM when I was fired in 2014.
GMBM had looked confident, but with the mentioning of GMGM being fired, a pause crossed the man’s visage.
GMGM: I thought it was pretty swell of the Wirtz family to give Dale Tallon a ring. Ted Leonis didn’t extend me the same favor. Check this out about the Caps team last year
So seeing as how I have so many picks to make, and GMBM has so few, I figured I’d share the love and let him get some more experience under my tutelage. After all, GMBM does love my sloppy seconds!
Bettman’s daughter is confused by the hostility, and the term being used. GMGM can hear the young woman ask her father about the phrase. To which GMGM responds thusly-
GMGM leaves the stage as GMBM is ascending the stairs.
GMBM: Of all the ungrateful, irresponsible. YOU KNOW WHAT GEORGE?! I’M A STANLEY CUP WINNER AND YOU AREN’T!
F’ing clown show that guy. Reluctantly, on behalf of the Vegas Golden Knights, the Washington Capitals will use the
#110 pick to select, from the WHL Red Deer Rebels, hailing from Moskva, RUS, standing at 6’1” weighing 185 lbs, left-shooting center,
OLEG ZAITSEV! In D.C. we have a saying, Russian Machine Never Breaks, here’s to a long, prosperous, Western Conference champion-capped, career Oleg.
And that folks is why some GMs start, and other GMs finish.
Vegas Picks
17th – Arthur Kaliyev, RW, Hamilton (OHL)
48th – Patrik Puistola, LW, LeKi (Mestis)
79th – Hunter Jones, G, Peterborough (OHL)
84th – Ryder Donovan, C, Duluth East (USHS-MN)
86th – Samuel Bolduc, D, Blainville-Boisbriand (QMJHL)
110th – Oleg Zaitsev, C, Red Deer (WHL)
@FlyTimmo is up next