OT: The Arizona Coyotes Lounge XVII - Office Space
- Thread starter TheLegend
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Somebody in Scottsdale is proud...
Name a continent, I'll tell you a story....
But, not South America (never been there).
Or a subject....
I have more stories than the NY Times...
Oh, but I have a South American story I remembered
Grrrr, ok the South American story.
There are only 2 ways to get to the South Pole. Santiago, Chile or Hobert, Australia.
From either port, you get on an icebreaker. A ship with a hull that can go through ice. A "thin" hull, streamlined.
It is not meant for heavy waters. The ship lists easily.
Going from Santiago to the pole is horrible. Even the whole crew is nauseous for 2.5 days. You are literally strapped in your bunk.
It's where the Pacific Ocean hits the Atlantic Ocean. Roughest waters in the world.
My father-in-law used to set up expectations to the South Pole from Hobart, Tasmania, Australia.
My father once ran into a colleague in the South Pole. About 50 people were living there. My mom flipped
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- Jan 3, 2012
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Karen.
10+ Memes of Karen, the Infamous "Speak to the Manager" Haircut | Know Your Meme
(I also happen to skate with a PetSmart store manager with a sense of humor, he and his wife both cracked up when i showed them this)
Anyone ready for another story?
I was working as a telemarketer in the mid 90's just outside of St. Louis. Watson Rd.
Two brothers, one old, one young.
The kid yelled to the manager that old boy was smoking another cigarette. This was when you could smoke inside, at work. 1 cigarette per hour.
They were both very fat.
The older gentleman put out his smoke and said, "Why do you care?" to the kid telling on him.
I was just a few feet away watching.
The old guy sits down, looks around, and says, "f*** it." He then got up and starts walking behind the kid.
While he walked behind the kid, he pulled out a butterfly knife.
He got a good stance with both legs planted, leaned over and slit the kid's throat.
The kid fell backwards in his chair and the guy started hacking on him.
People were running towards dead ends while screaming. Most people lost thought.
I was working as a telemarketer in the mid 90's just outside of St. Louis. Watson Rd.
Two brothers, one old, one young.
The kid yelled to the manager that old boy was smoking another cigarette. This was when you could smoke inside, at work. 1 cigarette per hour.
They were both very fat.
The older gentleman put out his smoke and said, "Why do you care?" to the kid telling on him.
I was just a few feet away watching.
The old guy sits down, looks around, and says, "f*** it." He then got up and starts walking behind the kid.
While he walked behind the kid, he pulled out a butterfly knife.
He got a good stance with both legs planted, leaned over and slit the kid's throat.
The kid fell backwards in his chair and the guy started hacking on him.
People were running towards dead ends while screaming. Most people lost thought.
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awfulwaffle
Registered User
My dad has an asteroid named after him.
I thought that was so cool, but I'm a nerd
One of his old graduate students did it.
The kid lived.
He was so fat, mostly his second chin was cut.
When the older guy got on him and started hacking on him, the kid put his arms up and absorbed the blade with his arms.
The man was arrested in the parking lot. We shared a lot with the PD
I thought that was so cool, but I'm a nerd
One of his old graduate students did it.
The kid lived.
He was so fat, mostly his second chin was cut.
When the older guy got on him and started hacking on him, the kid put his arms up and absorbed the blade with his arms.
The man was arrested in the parking lot. We shared a lot with the PD
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So this is what I always suspected, smoking doesn't kill you, it only maims!
One time I was going through the Straights of Hormuz when numerous Iran gun boats came at us at a very high rate of speed.
USS Harry S Truman early 2003
A submarine surfaced between us and the gun boats.
The Iranian's retreated immediately.
Crazy sight...
My first watch ever
US Navy 1998 Cecil Field, FL
I was in charge of the barracks from balls to 8. Or 11:45pm to 7:45am.
As I stood outside having a cigarette, I noticed parachutes. A lot of parachutes with men coming down all over base. At night. Then a plane started shooting the base with something big.
I freaked.
Thank goodness I didn't have a fire arm
I called my Chief and he laughed.
Apparently that was normal...
USS Harry S Truman early 2003
A submarine surfaced between us and the gun boats.
The Iranian's retreated immediately.
Crazy sight...
My first watch ever
US Navy 1998 Cecil Field, FL
I was in charge of the barracks from balls to 8. Or 11:45pm to 7:45am.
As I stood outside having a cigarette, I noticed parachutes. A lot of parachutes with men coming down all over base. At night. Then a plane started shooting the base with something big.
I freaked.
Thank goodness I didn't have a fire arm
I called my Chief and he laughed.
Apparently that was normal...
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My 1st shipboard watch
As an E-5 mind you...
USS Theodore Roosevelt 2001
A historic cruise IMHO. We set the record for time at sea without a port at 159 days. I got a coin out of it
But honestly we did a lot. I did 3 tours in the Gulf and it sucked. Every 6 month cruise I did someone died...
But my 1st carrier watch was looking down a ladder well making sure people don't throw trash down it.
E-5 was enough rank that people wouldn't eff with you.
I had to sit for 8 hours next to a loud ass transformer thing with all the lights out.
I only had a small red flashlight that I kept on me.
It was the definition of hell. Middle of the night, everyone sleeping and you have to sit in a small space with a horrible transformer noise with no light.
As an E-5 mind you...
USS Theodore Roosevelt 2001
A historic cruise IMHO. We set the record for time at sea without a port at 159 days. I got a coin out of it
But honestly we did a lot. I did 3 tours in the Gulf and it sucked. Every 6 month cruise I did someone died...
But my 1st carrier watch was looking down a ladder well making sure people don't throw trash down it.
E-5 was enough rank that people wouldn't eff with you.
I had to sit for 8 hours next to a loud ass transformer thing with all the lights out.
I only had a small red flashlight that I kept on me.
It was the definition of hell. Middle of the night, everyone sleeping and you have to sit in a small space with a horrible transformer noise with no light.
I will stop posting random stories if people want.
But I enjoy it, it's therapeutic for me.
I know the mods hate it though...
But I enjoy it, it's therapeutic for me.
I know the mods hate it though...
- Jan 3, 2012
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- 12,529
As long as you aren't violating the rules you can post what you want in this thread. Might not get the reaction you are seeking, however.
Code Pink
1st kid is born - June 2005 Portsmouth Naval Hospital, VA
I follow my new born daughter to the nursery where there is one other boy.
The nurse puts an anklet on my daughter. I ask and she says it's like a LoJack system, where if a baby is stolen the alarm goes off.
The nursery nurse starts cleaning my daughter. She looks at me and said, "Have you eaten today?"
After lunch I was walking along and the whole hospital alarmed. Buzzers, strobes, etc. I saw a doctor peaking out of his door to look and said, "OK Doc what does Code Pink mean?" What the PA kept saying.
The doctor told me that meant a baby was stolen from the nursery.
I freaked.
Literally.
I started sprinting towards the elevators. This is a military hospital and I was active duty, but I gave zero effs.
I remember yelling, "Make a hole!"
I'm not a small man. Everyone moved.
The elevator ride took forever, but as soon as I got out there was a big security guard standing in front of the double doors I was about to through.
I told the guard, "My daughter is in there and coming in. Move or I will move you."
He looked up and said, "Sir, this is Radiology."
I was on the wrong floor
Same situation on the next floor and the big MP tells me it's just a drill.
1st kid is born - June 2005 Portsmouth Naval Hospital, VA
I follow my new born daughter to the nursery where there is one other boy.
The nurse puts an anklet on my daughter. I ask and she says it's like a LoJack system, where if a baby is stolen the alarm goes off.
The nursery nurse starts cleaning my daughter. She looks at me and said, "Have you eaten today?"
After lunch I was walking along and the whole hospital alarmed. Buzzers, strobes, etc. I saw a doctor peaking out of his door to look and said, "OK Doc what does Code Pink mean?" What the PA kept saying.
The doctor told me that meant a baby was stolen from the nursery.
I freaked.
Literally.
I started sprinting towards the elevators. This is a military hospital and I was active duty, but I gave zero effs.
I remember yelling, "Make a hole!"
I'm not a small man. Everyone moved.
The elevator ride took forever, but as soon as I got out there was a big security guard standing in front of the double doors I was about to through.
I told the guard, "My daughter is in there and coming in. Move or I will move you."
He looked up and said, "Sir, this is Radiology."
I was on the wrong floor
Same situation on the next floor and the big MP tells me it's just a drill.
Me vs Japanese biker gang
Minami-Rinkan, Yamato-Shi, Kanagawa, Japan 2009
I lived in a quiet family community a few miles from base.
One night a Bozo...
A Bozo is one step from Yakusa. The mob's minor league in Japan. They were young, dumb and eager to prove. They always rode 30-50 deep, abided by no red lights or stop signs. Would beat you to death if you got in the way, or say they say. Bozo's had motorcycles with banana seats, huge mufflers. The louder the better. You could hear them come from miles away.
...started driving around my quiet neighborhood. I had to little ones asleep and this jerk seemed to have no muffler.
My wife looked at me and said, "If I was a man, I wouldn't take this."
That was it. Done deal.
I walked down the middle of the small street the bike was on.
He came up to me fast and I made a X with my arms and planted my feet.
He came to a stop and I went in to punch him as he turned around quickly. He yelled and sped off.
His yell was to about 30 guys in a park. I walked down the middle of the little street yelling that they were about to get an old fashioned American ass whooping. I remember telling them I wanted a piece of everyone there.
This park was a park my kids played in. I thought I knew this park well. But those guys drove a van and all ran out an exit through some wooded area I didn't know existed.
In the mean time my wife is on the phone with 119, 911 of Japan, telling them her husband is about to die.
Thank goodness they ran...
Minami-Rinkan, Yamato-Shi, Kanagawa, Japan 2009
I lived in a quiet family community a few miles from base.
One night a Bozo...
A Bozo is one step from Yakusa. The mob's minor league in Japan. They were young, dumb and eager to prove. They always rode 30-50 deep, abided by no red lights or stop signs. Would beat you to death if you got in the way, or say they say. Bozo's had motorcycles with banana seats, huge mufflers. The louder the better. You could hear them come from miles away.
...started driving around my quiet neighborhood. I had to little ones asleep and this jerk seemed to have no muffler.
My wife looked at me and said, "If I was a man, I wouldn't take this."
That was it. Done deal.
I walked down the middle of the small street the bike was on.
He came up to me fast and I made a X with my arms and planted my feet.
He came to a stop and I went in to punch him as he turned around quickly. He yelled and sped off.
His yell was to about 30 guys in a park. I walked down the middle of the little street yelling that they were about to get an old fashioned American ass whooping. I remember telling them I wanted a piece of everyone there.
This park was a park my kids played in. I thought I knew this park well. But those guys drove a van and all ran out an exit through some wooded area I didn't know existed.
In the mean time my wife is on the phone with 119, 911 of Japan, telling them her husband is about to die.
Thank goodness they ran...
Manhattan Asian gang fight 1994
Between E. 8th Street and Bleeker St.
Walking home from the bars at 2am-ish.
If you know NYC, Bleeker is the bar street, so I was walking north towards NYU.
As I approached one city block corner I heard commotion. It was a pool hall.
Two Asian gangs were fighting. It was unreal.
I sat across the street and lit a smoke.
Round house kicks, dudes flying through the air kicking, it was crazy.
Between E. 8th Street and Bleeker St.
Walking home from the bars at 2am-ish.
If you know NYC, Bleeker is the bar street, so I was walking north towards NYU.
As I approached one city block corner I heard commotion. It was a pool hall.
Two Asian gangs were fighting. It was unreal.
I sat across the street and lit a smoke.
Round house kicks, dudes flying through the air kicking, it was crazy.
Island of Crete, Greece 2004
I drank so much I passed out. When I woke I was in a taxi with a Sailor and 2 Marines. Not sure why I capitalized them....
The taxi was in pure darkness. No lights anywhere.
Then ahead was a town. It reminded me of the old west.
1 or 2 street lights and a bar.
The taxi refused to park anywhere close to it in fear it seemed. He told us where the ATM was and left quickly.
When we entered the bar I understood. It was full of everything bad. Debauchery at it's finest.
Prostitution, fighting, etc
It was the closest to the wild west I've ever been.
Beautiful island though
I drank so much I passed out. When I woke I was in a taxi with a Sailor and 2 Marines. Not sure why I capitalized them....
The taxi was in pure darkness. No lights anywhere.
Then ahead was a town. It reminded me of the old west.
1 or 2 street lights and a bar.
The taxi refused to park anywhere close to it in fear it seemed. He told us where the ATM was and left quickly.
When we entered the bar I understood. It was full of everything bad. Debauchery at it's finest.
Prostitution, fighting, etc
It was the closest to the wild west I've ever been.
Beautiful island though
Soccer story 2000
I was visiting friends in Lisbon, Portugal one summer. Long story...
My buddy's Mom was dating the VP of Sporting Lisboa and got us tickets to them playing Real Madrid.
It was Luis Figo's first game with Real!!
After the game the VP brought us out to dinner. It was like 9pm.
2 of the Sporting players were sitting close to us
Everyone got the same meal. Steak on a bed of fries with a fried egg on top. Portuguese tradition...
I was visiting friends in Lisbon, Portugal one summer. Long story...
My buddy's Mom was dating the VP of Sporting Lisboa and got us tickets to them playing Real Madrid.
It was Luis Figo's first game with Real!!
After the game the VP brought us out to dinner. It was like 9pm.
2 of the Sporting players were sitting close to us
Everyone got the same meal. Steak on a bed of fries with a fried egg on top. Portuguese tradition...
- Jan 3, 2012
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I once drank milk after the expiration date.
awfulwaffle
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TheLegend
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