Back to (hopefully) everyone's favorite subject: food.
Since we brought up Alton Brown, does anyone watch Food Network any more?
I dropped it like a bad habit once they morphed into all competition shows all the time. I have ZERO interest in watching any of these shows that they have on like what's listed for today:
5:00 PM
Alton's Challenge, Part 1
Episode 3402
Alton Brown is taking over the Chopped Kitchen for an epic five-part tournament! With $50,000 on the line, the first four chefs bravely take on his challenge. For this first battle, Alton demonstrates the science behind smoking foods, and the chefs are encouraged to infuse every dish with smoky flavor. Tiny radishes and a strangely savory cookie are in the mix for round one. Alton whips up a signature smoked item for the second basket, then an exotic drink is the smoky component in basket number three.
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6:00 PM
Alton's Challenge, Part 2
Episode 3403
In the second Alton's Challenge battle, there's a dehydration theme for the baskets, and Alton Brown demonstrates a home hack that makes removing moisture from food a breeze. The first round has the chefs making quick use of instant mashed potatoes, then an Alton specialty is one of the mandatory ingredients for the entree round. A diabolical dessert basket has the chefs scrambling to make dehydrated eggs work in their final plates.
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7:00 PM
Alton's Challenge, Part 3
Episode 3404
The chefs explore the wonders of molecular gastronomy in the third Alton's Challenge battle. Making a powder from a fat and clearing up the problem with transparent ravioli are some of the struggles in round one. In the entree round, the chefs get lamb cooked with a modernist method and some new age noodles. Then, a cake that looks and tastes like a drop of water gives the last pair of chefs a perplexing puzzle to solve for dessert.
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8:00 PM
Alton's Challenge, Grand Finale
Episode 3405
Expect the ultimate in brainy, zany baskets from Alton Brown, as four Challenge champions return to fight for $50,000! Ingredients harken back to the themes of the preliminary battles: molecular gastronomy, smoke, dehydration and fermentation. In the first round, a small fish and a strange condiment puzzle the champs. A stunningly-presented protein and a jar of something stinky are in the entree basket. Finally, Alton makes a grand entrance in the dessert round to demonstrate the science of one of the ingredients, before an unprecedented turn of events.
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9:00 PM
Hot Dog Hot Shots
Episode 4004
Four talented chefs work to stay focused and stay sharp in this competition. They're surprised by a strange hot dog creation in the first basket, but they push on with some delicious results. The entree basket contains a can of something that's not usually used in gourmet cuisine, and the two determined competitors who move onto the dessert round get to make final dishes using a yummy cake and a Japanese drink.
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10:00 PM
Date Night Fry Day
Episode 101
Alex Guarnaschelli welcomes four chefs to stake out shoppers at Gelson's Market in Thousand Oaks, Calif. Judges Eddie Jackson and Bricia Lopez watch as one chef gets breakfast food for Chinese takeout while another fries up some family favorites. The last two chefs standing duke it out for the ultimate date night dish.
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I know Guy Fieri is a lightning rod, but I learned a boatload from the people in the restaurants he visited on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. That was the great thing about that show.
Emeril Lagasse was also like him in that he was a celebrity, (BAM!) but the man knew his stuff. I don't know, I guess I miss the shows like Sara Moulton had where they, you know, showed you how to make things.
Shows like the Barefoot Contessa left me cold because 95% of the general audience wouldn't even eat what she made never mind make it. Which is why I liked Emeril because what he showed how to make most people would like and try to make.
Alton Brown was cheesy as all hell, but that was his hook and his show was always entertaining and I always learned something cool every time