Hurricanes Lounge, XXXIII: Danger Zone

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Roboturner913

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Jul 3, 2012
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My wife wanted to go look at a house and right in the front yard were three big Bradfords. I was like "nope, keep on driving"

@Navin R Slavin Jesus man that sounds like a horror story I'm familiar with. My upstairs bath did the EXACT same thing. Drained all the overflow water right into the basement, which shorted all the lights out and turned the ceiling tiles into a pile of mush. And then we found out there wasn't even drywall underneath the wallpaper up there; they just stuck up some plywood and papered over it. LOL.
 

Navin R Slavin

Fifth line center
Jan 1, 2011
16,240
63,850
Durrm NC
Do you feel over the long haul you’ve spent more than 3-4% of the home value per year because of all that stuff? My point is that I won’t know what it is specifically, but as long as it’s within an appropriate range over the long haul, I’m good for it.

Of course you're good for it! I'm good for it. We're all good for it, because it's not the money -- it's the blinding rage at the cavalcade of stupidity that owning a house entails.

Here's a secret: we hate half of our house. Half of it! The whole upper half! We've got two HVAC units that are constantly at war, and the upstairs always loses, because guess what? Heat rises! That master bath that we were like "oh shit, this is gonna be superfly sexytime," is now walled off like we're storing amontillado in that bitch. We could have had that upstairs garden tub replumbed, but that would have required finding a contractor to deal with it, and contractors are out adding $100k kitchens to somebody's house; for that shitty little job that you want fixed, they won't call you back for a month. That shattered shower door? We swept it all up, and we called around and gave up, and we just f***ing left it! The entire master bath is on the "someday when we want to throw $75k at the whole thing we'll fix all of it, but for now we'll just use the other bath upstairs" plan, and it's been that way for half a decade. Instead we spent our money on our awesome and huge screen porch (where I'm sitting right now and it is superb.) If we could rebuild our house from scratch, it would be a swank kitchen, a tiny bedroom with a really nice bed, three walk-in closets, and like 2000 square feet of covered wraparound screen porches.

Because that's the nice thing: despite all the bullshit, it's still all yours at the end of it, and if you want to build a room that's for nothing but lavender ceiling mounted sex furniture, then you can do exactly that, and that is the awesome part. So long as you understand that you'll have to take all that stuff out if you want to resell it, which you probably will, because all houses are bullshit! This post is over!

Mrs. Hank has been roaring in laughter at all of this, by the way, and her comment is "I know that young folks get tired of us old f***ers telling all our shitty homeowner stories, and that's fine -- THEY GON LEARN"
 
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LostInaLostWorld

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Also looking more into attached townhomes, which often have some of the more structural/outdoor maintenance covered by the HOA.
My sister has a townhouse in an upscale developement. After sewage backed up into her place twice it was determined tree roots were blocking the sewage pipe to the street. She paid big dollars for cleanup each time and to determine problem.

HOA board kept diddling around for 4 months about taking the tree out. Sister finally got a college friend attorney to intervene. Still took another 2 months to get done.

She pays exorbitant fees which include maintenance of the small front yard. Oh but they do not trim the ornamental bushes of which she will be called out on if they get unruly.

Read all the HOA docs carefully and ask existing owners what they think.
 
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Navin R Slavin

Fifth line center
Jan 1, 2011
16,240
63,850
Durrm NC
My wife wanted to go look at a house and right in the front yard were three big Bradfords. I was like "nope, keep on driving"

After our first one collapsed, we had the other two ripped out as soon as we found someone who could take the job. The HOA sent us a letter saying "hey you need our approval for that" and I called the HOA chair and said "hey, how do you feel about dealing with a landmark lawsuit about the inadvisability of planting Bradford pears?" and that was that.
 

Anton Dubinchuk

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Of course you're good for it! I'm good for it. We'll all good for it, because it's not the money -- it's the blinding rage at the cavalcade of stupidity that owning a house entails.

Here's a secret: we hate half of our house. Half of it! The whole upper half! We've got two HVAC units that are constantly at war, and the upstairs always loses, because guess what? Heat rises! That master bath that we were like "oh shit, this is gonna be superfly sexytime," is now walled off like we're storing amontillado in that bitch. We could have had that upstairs garden tub replumbed, but that would have required finding a contractor to deal with it, and contractors are out adding $100k kitchens to somebody's house; for that shitty little job that you want fixed, they won't call you back for a month. That shattered shower door? We swept it all up, and we called around and gave up, and we just f***ing left it! The entire master bath is on the "someday when we want to throw $75k at the whole thing we'll fix all of it, but for now we'll just use the other bath upstairs" plan, and it's been that way for half a decade. Instead we spent our money on our awesome and huge screen porch (where I'm sitting right now and it is superb.) If we could rebuild our house from scratch, it would be a swank kitchen, a tiny bedroom with a really nice bed, three walk-in closets, and like 2000 square feet of covered wraparound screen porches.

Because that's the nice thing: despite all the bullshit, it's still all yours at the end of it, and if you want to build a room that's for nothing but lavender ceiling mounted sex furniture, then you can do exactly that, and that is the awesome part. So long as you understand that you'll have to take all that stuff out if you want to resell it, which you probably will, because all houses are bullshit! This post is over!

Mrs. Hank has been roaring in laughter at all of this, by the way, and her comment is "I know that young folks get tired of us old f***ers telling all our shitty homeowner stories, and that's fine -- THEY GON LEARN"

Lol - I have a feeling you are a little more jaded than most, but I understand the sentiment. Our landlady has used “emotional distress due to Covid” to avoid fulfilling any maintenance requests except major issues (even though she just calls a handyman to do it). Bifold door leading to the washer/dryer is cracked around the hinge and keeps falling off the track? I finished the job, cracked it off entirely and it’s been leaning in between the wall and the washer for over a year. Chipped paint? Lol who cares. I can absolutely see that mindset transferring to homeownership easily enough :laugh:
 
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Navin R Slavin

Fifth line center
Jan 1, 2011
16,240
63,850
Durrm NC
Lol - I have a feeling you are a little more jaded than most, but I understand the sentiment. Our landlady has used “emotional distress due to Covid” to avoid fulfilling any maintenance requests except major issues (even though she just calls a handyman to do it). Bifold door leading to the washer/dryer is cracked around the hinge and keeps falling off the track? I finished the job, cracked it off entirely and it’s been sitting in between the wall and the washer for over a year. Chipped paint? Lol who cares. I can absolutely see that mindset transferring to homeownership easily enough :laugh:

The bottom line is that everything degrades, including ourselves. Something that's relatively easy to deal with at 30 is more challenging at 50, and impossible at 70 -- and the more stuff you have, the more stuff you have to keep working. I used to wonder why old people all moved to little condos in Florida. I don't wonder that anymore.
 

Anton Dubinchuk

aho
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The bottom line is that everything degrades, including ourselves. Something that's relatively easy to deal with at 30 is more challenging at 50, and impossible at 70 -- and the more stuff you have, the more stuff you have to keep working. I used to wonder why old people all moved to little condos in Florida. I don't wonder that anymore.

Why don’t they just make the whole house out of the black box?
 

MinJaBen

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Our HOA expired before we moved into the neighborhood. Everyone still voluntarily pays a couple hundred bucks a year to take care of a little landscaping and ice cream socials. Most people still try to maintain the standards set forth in the original HOA rules, but nothing is enforceable.

It’s perfect.
 

Navin R Slavin

Fifth line center
Jan 1, 2011
16,240
63,850
Durrm NC
Our HOA expired before we moved into the neighborhood. Everyone still voluntarily pays a couple hundred bucks a year to take care of a little landscaping and ice cream socials. Most people still try to maintain the standards set forth in the original HOA rules, but nothing is enforceable.

It’s perfect.
That sounds so amazing.
 

DaveG

Noted Jerk
Apr 7, 2003
51,348
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Winston-Salem NC

sabremike

Friend To All Giraffes And Lindy Ruff
Aug 30, 2010
23,023
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Brewster, NY
You definitely don't know what you don't know, because you can't.

We hired a house inspector before we bought our place, even though it was new construction, and he still couldn't find everything, like the fact that the builders raised our beautiful lot out of a flood plain (which we knew) with fill dirt that consisted of all the accumulated garbage from the entire subdivision (which we definitely did not know). No regulations about what you can put in fill dirt! We're still finding buried boards, bricks, and Jarritos bottles 20 years later. Or the fact that half of the lights were installed without junction boxes, which is an egregious violation of code and a bitch when you decide you want to replace that hideous builder light fixture in the master bath. Or the fact that the overflow hole in the beautiful upstairs garden tub wasn't even plumbed (!?), so the first time we filled the tub a little too full it came through our kitchen ceiling and shorted the lights. Or the fact that sometimes you can go on vacation and come back to a shattered shower door in tiny pieces all over your floor, just because sometimes that spontaneously happens with poorly tempered shower glass! Or the fact that Bradford pears are garbage trees and should be outlawed because they are guaranteed to split in 30 years, and in our case one of them split in 10 and crashed into our garage and my truck.

I'm still glad to be a homeowner, but one of the reasons I won't move again until I absolutely must is because I never want to deal with this bullshit ever again. After 20 years I finally mostly know all the bullshit I'm gonna be dealing with, and the place is paid for, thank God.

Also, f*** HOAs to death, the governance entities that make me understand deeply why one might choose to be a Republican. Or a libertarian. Or a f***ing anarchist.
20210424_210923.jpg


Accept Killdozer into your heart!
 
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raynman

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Jan 20, 2013
4,983
10,944
Rent around here is so ridiculous for a single person that I f***ed around and decided to buy a 1000 sq ft fixer upper. I was filled with much regret and remorse when I got the keys back in January but it’ll be mine when I finally move in in the next couple weeks. A friend came by to check it out when I first got it and I could tell he was wondering wtf I’d gotten into. Could’ve told me that beforehand!
 

Boom Boom Apathy

I am the Professor. Deal with it!
Sep 6, 2006
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While you can never fully know what's going on behind the walls, you can get a good idea about the vast majority of the major items in a home via inspection and/or knowing how old it is. For instance, if the HVAC, water heaters, and major mechanicals are under 5 years old, you are probably in decent shape. If they are 8-10 years old, you have to plan on the possibility of replacing them in a couple years. Same goes for the roof. If it's under 10 years old, then an inspection will note any major issues (most roofs fail at flash areas, pipes/vents, and where two rooflines meet). If you roof is over 15 years (and it's a shingle roof), you will likely have to replace it in the next 10 years or so as even "30 year" shingles typically only last 20-25 years here in NC.

Same goes for appliances, particularly those with moving parts like a dishwasher. How old they are will give you a pretty good feel on the risk of them failing.

You can get a feel on the electrical in the house by knowing how old it is and also a quick look at the insides of the electrical box (if the work is shoddy in the box, then the work throughout the house may be shoddy as well). The newer the home, the more likely the electrical and plumbing is better because of updates in codes over the years.

Nothing is 100% foolproof and as Hank mentioned, you can always be surprised by something unexpected, but overall, a lot of the really expensive items you can get a pretty good feel for.

This house I'm in now is our 6th home we owned. half were were new builds, half were existing older homes that were 30+ years old. Knock on wood, but we've been lucky.

I agree 100% with Hank on the age aspect. When we moved last year, it was specifically because we wanted to avoid having to do a bunch of stuff ourselves so moved into a downsized, new home so that we could do work we wanted to do, and not work we had to do. 20 years ago, I would take a lot of stuff on, now...not, I'm not so eager to do so.
 

The Faulker 27

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Nov 15, 2011
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I've only ever owned old homes. Unfortunately. We bought our current house (built in 1958) in 2017, and I tried for a newer home, but my wife didn't like anything but the older homes we looked at. She loves old architecture. She's the type that knows what she wants, but doesn't know what it involves and doesn't always care since I'm the one that deals with 90% of the problems.
 
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MinJaBen

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I've only ever owned old homes. Unfortunately. We bought our current house (built in 1958) in 2017, and I tried for a newer home, but my wife didn't like anything but the older homes we looked at. She loves old architecture. She's the type that knows what she wants, but doesn't know what it involves and doesn't always care since I'm the one that deals with 90% of the problems.
I’ve seen this episode of House Hunters.
 

Finnish Jerk Train

lol stupid mickey mouse organization
Apr 7, 2008
4,041
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I've had these discussions with numerous friends, and neighbors. It's a tough time right now for everyone but sellers, and people already settled. Even for sellers, you're only making out if putting back into a fixer upper, or going to a reasonable renting situation or something (aka retirees).

We know people that are building and taking on 50 and 60k+ more than they would have in materials alone. It's kind of crazy to be honest, and I wonder if some of these folks will regret paying the prices they are, but it also depends on how long you plan to stay, and of course your overall money situation. If it's 20 years, fine, but if it's 5 that's hard to justify even for people that are well off. Unless it's necessary of course. If you've outgrown your house, need to be closer to work, school districts, etc it is what it is. Prices will eventually come down, but who knows when.

We're outgrowing it, but the need isn't so strong that it puts us in a position to bid on everything that comes along. It's more of a want than a need, so that's why we don't mind being picky... it would be our forever house. I could stand to be closer to work, but we like the neighborhood more than I like the job so I may end up finding something closer to home one day.

But thankfully, we're already in something that's saleable, so we're riding the wave on prices whether it goes up or down. The prices might change, but the actual cost to move doesn't. If what we want goes up by $100k, we'll get it back when we sell our current one.

Our new house has a supposed "two car garage" that was being sold "as-is" and I couldn't figure out why until I actually went there and looked at it.

For one, there is a pizza oven built into the side of the garage that goes back about six feet into it. So there's already no way you can park two cars in there.

Then, the AC unit (which is gigantic, must be some kind of industrial unit) is in front of the garage door, in such a way that you have to go around it a little bit to get the one car that would fit in there, in there. And I guarantee you if I got the car parked in there, I'd forget about it the next day, back straight out and destroy both my car and the A/C.

So we'll just be parking in the driveway, and that's fine. It's just one of those examples where in a normal housing market we probably would've moved on and looked at something else, but with the way things are now, you can't afford to pass up a house over one flaw like that, even if it's a real annoyance.

But hell man, I grew up in a trailer park, any house that doesn't have wheels and a trailer hitch on it seems f***ing amazing to me.

Yeah, I would have a hard time with that. But like I said, I'm pretty picky. This house didn't have anything like that, but it only had about six inches between the garage doors and the walls. The current owners have obviously given up on using it for cars... it's a combination man cave and storage area. We're stuck parking one of our cars outside in our current house (or both, depending on what I'm working on in the garage), so getting something that can actually accommodate both of them is on the wish list.

One day, I'd like to have a shop space and a space for cars. Whatever we buy doesn't have to have it already, but being able to build it one day is on the wish list. This one would be fine for a shop, but there's no room on that lot to build a place for the cars. It's a quarter acre, which is juuust big enough if it's laid out juuust right. This one isn't. Small driveway, too... can't hold more than two cars.

Do you feel over the long haul you’ve spent more than 3-4% of the home value per year because of all that stuff? My point is that I won’t know what it is specifically, but as long as it’s within an appropriate range over the long haul, I’m good for it.

I haven't done the math, but I'm sure we've hit that in our five years here. We've had to do the downstairs HVAC ($7k), painting (few hundred to DIY, several thousand to hire out), every inch of carpet ($7k), and a surprise bathroom renovation (about $20k for the master and other full bath, and that was doing it on a budget and managing the work ourselves). If we stay, we're looking at the upstairs HVAC and roof, which will be at least another $15k. The siding is Masonite and won't last forever. Replacing that with fiber cement is probably $25k-$30k. And that's before we get into fixing build quality issues and other maintenance that comes along when you're not looking... window rot, deck rot, fascia rot... really everything that's wood eventually rots. It just doesn't last in the southeast.

All that has taught us to look at the 5-10 year cost when we're looking at a house. If one comes along that's priced right, but will need $50k in systems and $75k in renovations, do we still want it? I'm an accountant, so I have a spreadsheet that ballparks the long-term cost of all the houses we've been into recently. Now that you're under contract (congrats!), it's a good time to look through everything and estimate its remaining useful life and what it'll cost to replace it. That will get you close on your bigger maintenance costs, but there will always be the silly little things too. Plan on maybe 1% for things like pest control, HVAC maintenance, lawn care, tools you didn't know you needed, and the stupid little things that pop up (broken garage door springs, leaky faucets, the microwave that stops working, stuff like that).

Because that's the nice thing: despite all the bullshit, it's still all yours at the end of it, and if you want to build a room that's for nothing but lavender ceiling mounted sex furniture, then you can do exactly that, and that is the awesome part. So long as you understand that you'll have to take all that stuff out if you want to resell it
Are you sure about this?

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2925-Debra-Dr-Raleigh-NC-27607/133702638_zpid/
 
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Boom Boom Apathy

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MinJaBen

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Although that is a unique style house, with some unique "ahem" features, but how the hell, in this market did a 5500 SQFT home on a 1 acre lot INSIDE the belt line only sell for $795K?

A friend of mine had a 4600 SQFT home on .6 acres down near holly springs sell for $860K.
That was my first thought as well.
 
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