HFWF ROAD TO APOCALYPSE, EPISODE 1
We get aerial shots of the Toronto skyline. Inside a limo, a producer/interviewer is inside with
@Cor who is asked if he's surprised that the HFWF came back. Cor smirks and scoffs, clapping his gum as he says "no." Cor says he doesn't like stupid questions and that was a stupid question. Cor asks the interviewer if he knows what's changed since the last time the HFWF was on TV? Cor interrupts the interviewer, telling him that in that time span he's starred in 6... that's right, count 'em, 6 straight to VHS movies. Cor says he's become a global icon in such a short amount of time that even he had to block Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's phone calls because he just wouldn't stop blowing up his phone. Cor says he's in high demand -- he says he single handedly revived the VHS player and he single handedly revived the HFWF.
Cor insults
@ColePens saying ColePens has little man syndrome and likes to claim that he has all this money and he brought back the HFWF, but the fact is Cor single handedly brought it back. He's a megastar. He's bigger than The Rock, Tom Cruise, Robert Downey Jr. and Will Smith put together. He says he didn't ask for this fame and notoriety, but when you're at his level, everyone wants to mention his name to keep themselves relevant and that's what's happening with ColePens. Cor says he wouldn't be caught dead trying to make friends with monkeys or bums like
@Disclose nowadays. Cor says ColePens may have expensive shoes, but Cor is full on Louis Vuitton. He is full class, and he is better than each and every single person in the HFWF, especially ColePens.
The interviewer mentions
@Falco Lombardi and Cor pauses. Cor says Falco is the exception to the rule. Cor says he wouldn't be where he is today without Falco Lombardi. All the bicycle sponsorships, the popcorn, the movie opportunities... the only person who supported him the whole way was Falco. Cor says Falco Lombardi is his best friend and he would take a bullet for him. Cor says he would sacrifice himself to keep his best friend, Falco Lombardi alive and he knows Falco would do the same thing for him. The producer asks Cor if he wonders why Falco is the one with a match at Apocalypse and not Cor. Cor scoffs, saying this company is either stupid because they don't know what a megastar attraction he is, or they're playing it smart for once in their lives and protecting Cor's star power and realize if he's not in the main event then Cor shouldn't be wrestling. Cor says he's ready to fight anytime, anyplace but he has to be smarter now -- he's a movie star. He's a straight-to-VHS star and he's carrying the HFWF on his back, and the HFWF is a very heavy load on the back. Cor says he may negotiate himself into that Brock Lesnar deal. Falco, on the other hand, he's a fighter. He's willing to fight anyone, anyplace, anywhere, 1-on-1, 1-on-2, or 1-on-5, and Cor loves that about his best friend, Falco Lombardi. Cor says that's why they're best friends. Cor and Falco are head and shoulders above the competition.
Suddenly, the limo stops in traffic. A panhandler approaches the door and Cor is startled. He rolls down the window and looks at him, asking him what he wants. The panhandler wants some spare change because he's hungry and broke. Cor laughs, telling the guy to go play in the sandbox with his friend, Disclose. Cor tells the panhandler, "stay broke" before rolling up the window. Inside, Cor asks the producer if he has anymore stupid questions because he has an important phone call to get on with Barack Obama.
**
Elsewhere,
@UnrealMachine and @Scandale du Jour are shown in the gym. UnrealMachine is lifting heavy weight, while Scandale is admiring himself in the mirror. Scandale then changes it up, and climbs up on a steel chair and repeatedly throws himself onto a French announce table, which doesn't break. Scandale tells the cameraman that he's building up a tolerance. Scandale then speaks in French, mentioning Sketchers and says when he's done with
ColePens he's going to get his hands on
@KIRK inside the steel cage.
UnrealMachine yells from across the gym. The cameraman is startled and starts backing away, but UnrealMachine marches with authority and grabs the camera. UnrealMachine breathes heavily as he looks into the camera, and puts a small smirk on his face. UnrealMachine asks
Disclose how he's feeling after he threw him through the god damn window. UnrealMachine yells into the camera, saying Disclose NEVER beat him and that UnrealMachine beat himself. UnrealMachine yells that he's still undefeated, and he's going to destroy Disclose at Apocalypse. UnrealMachine mentions that if he weren't Vegan, he would eat Disclose when he's finished with him, but since he is Vegan, he's just going to settle for "f***ing kill you at Apocalypse."
**
In an unknown location,
MCG is shown sitting against a brick wall with his eyes closed. He looks tired, broken down and angry. A cameraman approaches, asking MCG if he's going to make an appearance at Apocalypse. MCG keeps his eyes closed and doesn't respond. The cameraman asks MCG what has happened to him over the last several months. MCG keeps his eyes closed and still doesn't respond. The cameraman asks MCG, "are you okay?" which makes MCG's eyes pop open. MCG lifts his head and looks at the cameraman. MCG slowly stands up and approaches the cameraman, who's backing away. "f*** you," MCG says as he slaps the camera out of the cameraman's hand, dropping it to the concrete. The camera is pointed towards the sky, but behind the camera we can hear MCG laying a beating on the cameraman.
**
The feed cuts and splices in, and
@PeterSidorkiewicz is shown in a kitchen. A live studio audience applauds as Peter waves to the camera. Peter thanks everyone for joining him today. Peter has some great news: THE HFWF IS BACK! The crowd applauds big time. PeterSidorkiewicz promises he won't leave his fellow rice nuts, though, and does he have a great offer for them! PeterSidorkiewicz pulls out his
RICE COOKER with a giant ColePens' head sized dent in it. PeterSidorkiewicz places it on the counter and says this is a one of a kind, repurposed rice cooker. He says it was put through some tough times back in his previous line of work, but the secret to making the perfect rice?
BLOOD! PeterSidorkiewicz laughs maniacally as the live studio audience applauds. Peter reveals that he's put special pipes filled with BLOOD inside the rice cooker to give rice the ultimate flavour that dances on your tastebuds! The live studio audience applauds and goes crazy! PeterSidorkiewicz says there's going to be SOOOO much blood to collect at Apocalypse when he steps into the ring with
@Dr Pepper, @jbell886, @BonMorrison and @Paris in Flames and then, he'll be able to make GOLD RICE COOKERS! Peter promises that he, and his confidant,
@Emperoreddy will be covered in gold -- tag champions, and RICE COOKERS!
When the audience applaud subsides, Peter smiles and lets everyone in the live studio audience in on a little secret.
YOU GET A BLOOD LINE RICE COOKER, AND YOU GET A BLOOD LINE RICE COOKER, AND YOU ALL GET BLOOD LINE RICE COOKERS! Peter gives away dented, blood line filled rice cookers to the entire live audience to make the tastebuds dance! The live studio audience loves it. Peter asks anyone if they have any questions before this episode wraps up.
A kid has a question. He walks into the kitchen with his father, and his father helps him get seated on the top of the counter. The kid asks Peter,
"why are you excited that the HFWF is back when -- before you became our rice cooker salesman -- you were only known as a loser?" The crowd boos, but Peter holds his hand up and they all silence in a cult like trance. Peter is still smiling, thinking of an answer, but his face then goes stone cold and his eyes look dead. Peter stares at the kid, and
PETER THEN HITS THE KID'S FATHER IN THE HEAD WITH THE RICE COOKER! The live audience sits in silence, not moving, as
PETER IS PUMMELLING THE KID'S FATHER BEHIND THE COUNTER WITH THE RICE COOKER! The kid is crying as Peter finally pops up, and yells out, "WOW!!!! MORE FLAVOUR!" The live studio audience is applauding and going crazy as Peter blows them kisses, blood staining his white dress shirt as he says he'll see them next time!
NEXT TIME ON "ROAD TO HFWF APOLCALYPSE"
EPISODE 2 - Scenes with The Outcasts (
@SeidoN,
@Serac,
@Mitchy),
@Fro,
@Emperoreddy,
@BonMorrison,
@Paris in Flames and
@The Gongshow
EPISODE 3 - Scenes with
@Disclose,
@Dr Pepper,
@jbell886,
@AlphaCatalyst,
@ColePens &
@Falco Lombardi