You're missing the point completely.
It's not the essence of what is happening that's the problem, it's the execution in these final two seasons.
She's being driven to this conclusion because her advisers have suddenly become 21st century pacifists who want to bail on her for following their garbage counsel to the point of near defeat. She's being railroaded by writers who are just trying to make the threads meet at the end.
they've
suddenly become? (there's other stuff, and it sounds like a lot of "oh look they are hating on the poor girl because reasons).
Dany is not being led down the garden path by the writers because she's a girl and the male demo couldn't handle it. that is the most simplistic thing i've ever read. This is where Dany - was always headed. her descent into madness. and again if people want to get mad that it's happening in a span of 1 episode, vs. being held by the hand in two-three more, then i get that, but let's not make it out to be that Dany was always going to win and everything was going to be peachy keen, jelly bean.
Let's start off with this.
1: suddenly become 21 century pacifists.
No. they aren't. they are trying to make Dany sympathetic to the people she wants to rule. The last Targ these people knew, was known as the mad king and literally wanted to destroy everyone by fire, ending up with his assassination. So his daughter is going to come swooping in, burning everything and then be "Hi i'm your salvation?" and the people are gonna be all. "right on, right on?"
They've been undermining Dany since season
one. they first ignored her because she was over the sea, but Robert wanted to kill her because, she was just a Targ. then every time she got something - they were spreading whispers how ruthless she was. Season 3 when she got the unsullied - first thing Barristen said was, you can not have an army of slaves to take over Westeros. (she freed them yes, and she can't abide slavery)
She went in to so many cities, laying waste - and it's not like everyone (not just the slave owners FYI) were grateful on how she did it and changed the way of life. the Sons of the Harpy are
proof of that.
So she crosses the Narrow Sea and literally wants to do the same thing. Burn people, instantly take over, have people bend to her will and people re telling her, "if you do it the way your family does it, you'll never truly be loved, you'll never truly be safe." and so even though this way is a bit more costly because she can't drop a medieval atom bomb - they are pacifists? No. they're trying to not have another Mereen situation.
2: They are changing who Dany is. by railroading her etc.
no. they aren't. This is who Dany
always was.
Dany has no qualms in doing whatever it takes to getting whatever she wants.
She sacrificed her son/everything to bring back Drogo
despite everyone telling her that lady was a crazy witch, blood magic was wrong, and don't trust her. She didn't
intentionally (before people start at me) give up the baby, but still. she didn't think about any cost to get her husband back. Then when it didn't work/found out it was revenge, she was like "Cool. imma gonna kill you" Did anything have this feeling if the witch wasn't all. "ha ha I screwed you." and was like. "I'm sorry it didn't work." Dany would have been. "that's okay, keep riding with us?" It was tragic and sad but it was also quite frankly the first foray of us seeing Dany as a true Targ..
Season 3 - she annihilates the Unsullied master and everyone else in that square.
they see it as liberation (because they are no longer slaves), but lets look at it from another angle. as insulting and rude, and whatever else we want to lay at his feet - was the Unsullied Master
cheating Dany? No. Did he not uphold
his end of the bargain? Yes. Dany went there fully knowing she was going to lay waste to them, to get what she wanted. And again. bad-ass scene, (of course), was it completely altruistic? no.
Season 6 - even knowing what dead Khal Wives fate is - after the Khals find out who she is (and thus stop being actual gross people, and is like yah we can't touch you because you are a khaleesi ) she decides to take over the entire Khalasr by killing everyone in charge and bending people to her will, why? because she can..
if Dany wants something, she will - like Cersei - try to figure out how to
get what she wants, and if she can't get it nicely, she goes in and
dracarys everyone, and then people (being scared) is like. "Okay we yield, we serve.". Yes. Jorah, and Missandei etc, know the "real" Dany the sweet, caring person underneath all of that - but it doesn't change the fact that she is also bloodthirsty, entitled, and a conquerer. not a true ruler. she wants to own, and she'll do everything that it takes, including obliterating kings landing. so many times Jorah, Barristen, Tyrion, Varys had to hold her back. (again the only one that as like all "eff it, kill them." was Olenna because she lost
everything).
heck, Dany gets to Westeros, gets mad that she's losing so does exactly what Cersei and others have been telling people for years what she'd do: Bring raping,murdering hoards to their shores, and lay waste, and what they don't take care of - the dragons will. Tarly flat out calls her on it, says no. you don't really have any claim, I don't see you as my queen (because seriously what if she were to lose?), and instead of showing clemency or throwing him in dragon stone or whatever - she burns him alive. Why? because he didn't yield.
Cersei might hate her people, and the people hate her too but is Dany going to be awashed with love and adoration because she burned up KL on her way to the throne? the Wheel she wants to break - cool line and all, but nothing in her actions indicate how she actually wants to break the wheel. she wants to dominate. What's the wheel she actually wants to break? anything/everything that stands in her way of ruling.
and
that's why everyone is all team Jon (now on the show).because Jon, is tempered by fire
and ice. he has shown time and again he is fair and just and will only impact justice, if there is no other way or actual rule etc were broken. each and every single time. he does what is best for his people, not for himself - which FYI is what got him killed.
this isn't anything new.