Best Hockey Chirps
- Thread starter macattack22
- Start date
Frankie Spankie
Registered User
I'm not really one to chirp with people, it's just beer leagues that I play in. We're there to have fun, not get pissed off.
Although I do love to make idiots look like idiots. I remember playing once and I was on the point for an offensive zone faceoff, playing right next to the opposing team's bench. They won the face off right to their own goalie who had to cover it up because our winger crashed the net and tried to poke it in. He didn't slash the goalie's glove or anything, just tried to stuff it in as the goalie went to cover it up. I heard somebody on their bench say, "What's the point of hacking the goalie like that? You know he has it covered." I turned around and said, "Who the hell tries to win a faceoff directly to their own goalie?" All of them just stared at me like a deer caught in the head lights and I just turned back around to get ready for the next faceoff.
Although I do love to make idiots look like idiots. I remember playing once and I was on the point for an offensive zone faceoff, playing right next to the opposing team's bench. They won the face off right to their own goalie who had to cover it up because our winger crashed the net and tried to poke it in. He didn't slash the goalie's glove or anything, just tried to stuff it in as the goalie went to cover it up. I heard somebody on their bench say, "What's the point of hacking the goalie like that? You know he has it covered." I turned around and said, "Who the hell tries to win a faceoff directly to their own goalie?" All of them just stared at me like a deer caught in the head lights and I just turned back around to get ready for the next faceoff.
radbear
Registered User
radbear
Registered User
After a loser scores a garbage goal and celebrates staring at me....I'd say : "Go write it in your diary..."
nukethewhales
gotta nuke something
As a ref, my favourite towards me from a player whose team just lost:
Player: Are you gonna buy me dinner?
Me: Why would I do that?
Player: Because I like it when a guy buys me dinner after I get f***ed.
Player: Are you gonna buy me dinner?
Me: Why would I do that?
Player: Because I like it when a guy buys me dinner after I get f***ed.
radbear
Registered User
By the way...probably should have qualified the thread by saying...****if you play like crap- you probably shouldn't chirp at all.
lwinger178
Registered User
Ozz
Registered User
Joey Moss
Registered User
- Aug 29, 2008
- 36,161
- 8,004
Haha some of these are so questionable. My reaction to most would be to start laughing, look at them and say "sweet chirp!".
If you're a spectator, ok. If you're a player or someone on the bench, enjoy your penalty time.
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radbear
Registered User
....what I was often heard to say was ...after getting slashed when freezing the puck, or run after coming out to challenge..."That's ONE." No further chatter- just a long look directly at him.
I think you all know what happens at .....TWO.
I think you all know what happens at .....TWO.
SCritical
Registered User
I should have specified - This was said by a guy on my team to the goalie, who was his brother.
Things that do work as a female player, I’ve found include
*player trying to control his anger* “HEY! Violence against women, Australia says no!â€
*when checked or slashed* “Thank you sir, may I have another?â€
*being pressured in the corner or in front of the net* “Geez at least buy me a drink first!†or “oh yeah, that’s how I like it!â€
*player is mouthing off* “If I wanted to hear some *****ing, I’d be playing women’s league!â€
Look at the other winger at face off, wink and make handjob motions on your stick. One of two things tend to happen – he’s laughing too hard to see straight or he gets offended, straightens up and is left behind.
…yeah, I’m pretty much shameless
cowboy82nd
Registered User
I should have specified - This was said by a guy on my team to the goalie, who was his brother.
Things that do work as a female player, I’ve found include
*player trying to control his anger* “HEY! Violence against women, Australia says no!â€
*when checked or slashed* “Thank you sir, may I have another?â€
*being pressured in the corner or in front of the net* “Geez at least buy me a drink first!†or “oh yeah, that’s how I like it!â€
*player is mouthing off* “If I wanted to hear some *****ing, I’d be playing women’s league!â€
Look at the other winger at face off, wink and make handjob motions on your stick. One of two things tend to happen – he’s laughing too hard to see straight or he gets offended, straightens up and is left behind.
…yeah, I’m pretty much shameless
I would be laughing my a$& off too!!! That's a good one.
iamjs
Registered User
- Oct 1, 2008
- 12,573
- 936
The Mighty Duck Man
R-E-L-A-X
Chirping was such an important part of the game when I was younger and playing serious hockey. I was not that good at it so I just enjoyed listening to team mates who had good chirps. If I wanted to get under someones skin I would grab their stick for a few seconds away from the play and it would always draw a slash or punch.
When I was coaching high school kids from the wealthier private schools would always chirp that my players would be working for them in 10 years and one time one of my kids responded that he would be robbing the guy blind and f...ing his wife.
Now i play inline and there is next to no chirping. It is almost too polite. The best chirp I have heard was when I lining up for the opening face-off a few sessions back and a guy I do not normally play with asked me which side I wanted to play and the ref just laughed and pointed to the other team's goal and said "He will be playing that side."
When I was coaching high school kids from the wealthier private schools would always chirp that my players would be working for them in 10 years and one time one of my kids responded that he would be robbing the guy blind and f...ing his wife.
Now i play inline and there is next to no chirping. It is almost too polite. The best chirp I have heard was when I lining up for the opening face-off a few sessions back and a guy I do not normally play with asked me which side I wanted to play and the ref just laughed and pointed to the other team's goal and said "He will be playing that side."
Outside of the guy that said the usual homophobic and racist slurs, this thread should be titled three pages of the absolute dumbest, corniest ****ing chirps ever assembled. Please.
Siamese Dream
Registered User
One of my teammates once took the goalie's bottle and squirted water at them
It's been said a million times but the worst NHL chirp ever was Hartnell: "**** you Del Zotto, I don't even know your name"
My all time favourite is when a player is shouting something along the lines of "Come on boys lets go!" to rally the team, and then you say "Go where?" so simple but so effective
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Ro Herregraven
Dutch hockey nut
True story from the early nineties about Players X and Y, both top line forwards at the time. I have removed their names to protect the innocent.
Player/a-hole X played for our team for a couple of seasons, met a local girl, got her pregnant with a baby girl, then left her to play for another team in the league.
A few years later, our team was playing the team player X was now playing for.
Our player/classy guy Y had started a serious relationship with said girl and together they were raising her daughter as his own.
Our player Y had a small passport picture of the little girl taped into his stick, not far above the blade.
Player X and Player Y line up for the opening face-off, and Player X notices the picture of his own daughter on the stick of Player Y.
Player Y: "hot stuff eh? After the game I'm gonna nail her".
Player X never made a decent move that entire game.
Player/a-hole X played for our team for a couple of seasons, met a local girl, got her pregnant with a baby girl, then left her to play for another team in the league.
A few years later, our team was playing the team player X was now playing for.
Our player/classy guy Y had started a serious relationship with said girl and together they were raising her daughter as his own.
Our player Y had a small passport picture of the little girl taped into his stick, not far above the blade.
Player X and Player Y line up for the opening face-off, and Player X notices the picture of his own daughter on the stick of Player Y.
Player Y: "hot stuff eh? After the game I'm gonna nail her".
Player X never made a decent move that entire game.
Droid6
Registered User
So his chirp was telling a guy he was going to **** his kid after the game? Gross.
Ro Herregraven
Dutch hockey nut
Hey, the goal of a chirp is to put your opponent off-balance. It obviously worked. And when it comes from someone who is being a great father to a kid that isn't even his own, directed at the dead beat dad of the same kid, I think it's priceless.
