Best Hockey Chirps

[TheDawnOfANewTage]

Bit stupid, but there was a scrum in front involving some 6'5"+ monster. Between all the "f***s" and "shits" I'm just angrily yelling "hey f*** you, you're tall! Too tall. Tall man won't fight me because he's tall and I won't fight him. Tall boy."

One of those things where you had to be there, because as everything dies down everyone realizes that I'm just spouting nonsense. Big dude cracks a smile, my teammates are like "yeah!.. wait, that's not an insult." Idk, I like random humor, both teams were responsible, figured it'd kinda break the ice a bit.

Also-

Had a dude bear hug me and not let go after I threw a weak check. Trying to shake him loose he starts chanting "scoreboard! scoreboard!" cause it was 5-2, their lead. My response: "I've got a goal and an assist, you're only allowed out here because I haven't scored more." Not sure he got it, but dude was a scrub and the first player sat should the game get closer. Who the f*** chants "scoreboard" when I haven't initiated the smack talk anyways?

 

[Steve91]

This has been the most painful thread I've read since the internet began.

 

[NewDef]

Yesterday there was a guy that looked like David Perron. He was good but that ain't gonna stop me having fun and try to take him off his game.

On the face off I look at him and say 'You know you look like David Perron', he smiles, then i add 'only thing though is Perron is good'... that smile vanished and the puck dropped.

It's a fun league and that kind of shit happens all the time but never goes further than, yah yah, good one...

 

[cynicalcitizen]

This has been the most painful thread I've read since the internet began.

Welp, I waited on this last post, and now it's the most painful thread in the history of the internet.

 

[tarheelhockey]

"Sell your skates" honestly is a pretty good chirp, especially in the context of a game where you don't have time to do a full-on standup routine.