There's been some good discussions here. Very much appreciate larmex sharing a personal story about being bullied and witnessing first hand the ability for human growth and forgiveness. And also, as others have pointed out, the potential for consequences to happen for bad actions. One might almost say that it's a necessity, that no one repents until something opens their eyes.
I'd like to contribute a personal story of my own, to reinforce my angle that we must nevertheless be careful when seeking these consequences.
One of my businesses is to provide mathematical "fairness certification" for online casinos. Basically, I review all their play logs every month, analyze the house's wins and losses to make sure they closely match theoretical expectations, make sure that game events match real life patterns, etc. If the game uses a deck of cards, how often is the top card the ace of spades? Obviously that should be 1/52, plus/minus for variance, yeah? Stuff like that. They pass the tests, I award the seal, etc. etc.
Gamblers being what they are, I often get 'colorful' emails from people who have lost reams of money in online casinos, and lash out at me because I'm the only person they can contact that is any way associated with the casino. In my dealer days, the prevailing wisdom was "you weren't nothing until you got your first death threat", and that certainly has proven true all these years.
But one day, I got some serious enough threats from one person that it warranted contacting the WPS.
Threats also targeting my kids and my wife, and not just emails, but extremely graphic voice mails on my work phone. After he and his brothers came up to visit me, he was apparently going to cut off my balls, *then* squeeze them dry, *then* shove them up my ass. I remember that specifically cause I thought "damn, dude, get your move order straight. What good is squeezing them after they're off? Squeeze, THEN sever!"
The best part?
Criminal mastermind that he was, not only had he sent his death threats from his work email, he ended his phone message with his name and number and "call me back" -- like he wanted to go over some f***ing Excel spreadsheet before tomorrow's 9am with the boss.
Obviously, in an instant, I had everything I needed in the palm of my hand. Real name, address, personal FB page, friends and family's FB pages, you name it.
I could have gone to the police in his city, and CERTAINLY had enough to crush him on social media.
But as Chuck Norris once said in a similar position, "Yes, I could have.. but what would that have accomplished"?
Like I touched on earlier, it's very common for problem gamblers, when they lose large sums of money in a degenerate spree, and the pressure of the impending consequences of losing that money are crushing them, so they lash out at whoever they can. This was clearly the case here.
I saw that he ran his own small business. That's a tough enough line as it is, without the added stress of losing significant money gambling. He had a wife and a couple kids. Either they knew of his gambling and it was a huge strain, or they didn't know, and it could have been the last straw that ended a marriage. Trying to destroy his livelihood sure would have added to that strain.
It sure would have felt good to glut my thirst for vengeance, for a little bit at least, but what good would have come from it? Would costing him his livelihood, his marriage, and his reputation -- things I clearly would be hoping would happen when I 'called him out' no matter how much I might lie to myself otherwise -- help me in any way?
Not one damn bit.
So, I instead forwarded these emails to my client; they closed this guy's account and banned him for life, which frankly is about the best thing that could have happened to him out of this. I don't know if he just found another place to play at, but I do know I made it a bit harder.
I also framed my emails in a "see what I do for my clients? Talk about you getting your money's worth, huh? *nudge nudge*" tone, and while I'm obviously not going to deeply discuss my business dealings in public, I can confirm they continue to be a client in good standing all these years.
And I guess that's the key takeaway I want to share as it relates to Mitchell Miller.
People are obviously very angry about Miller's actions, and rightly so.
People are also fed up with bad people "tripping and falling up", so to speak. It sucks when good things happen to bad people, but boy oh boy it sure feels good when bad things happen to bad people.
And because of a combination of these emotions *and* the NHL's current sociopolitical investments, there is a very real risk of disproportionate punishment to Miller, with no desire to find a path (including one with consequences) that will allow people to make positives out of negatives.
And so remains the only position I've taken and currently intend to take regarding the sanctions against Miller: a lifetime ban from the NHL would be a disproportionate punishment, and so far, the vengeance mob has been calling for (and getting) a de facto ban not just from the NHL, but from collegiate hockey as well.
Remember: there is currently one person formally banned for life from the NHL, and that is Slava Voynov. And we all know what he did. As an adult. While a member of the league.
And you'll never, ever be able to convince me that what Miller did was remotely comparable.
.. and for god's sakes, if you're so mad at me for beating this drum that you're gonna send me hate mail, don't do it from your work email, lol.