It seems some Americans are confused about President Donald Trump’s extremely strong and very powerful national response to the coronavirus pandemic.
That confusion is understandable, as many Americans are not used to having a president who, by his own expert account, has “a very, very large brain” and also has “the best words.” It’s not President Trump’s fault you’re confused. It’s your fault.
So allow me to catch you up on how the most successful president in American history has single-handedly tackled COVID-19 and, in the process, saved many, many lives.
Here we go. Try to keep up.
The coronavirus is nothing to worry about, will likely be gone by April (anyone who says April was last month is a FAKE CALENDARIST!) and the virus is also a Democratic hoax, and a plague.
The number of deaths from the virus are being overblown by Trump-hating death counters, and also more than 90,000 people have died, which is a great success. If the president had done nothing, millions would have died from this nothing-to-worry-about virus. Also, the dead are only a small percentage of the population and it was their fault (the dying, I mean) because they were unhealthy, so they don’t really count and technically the COVID-19 death toll is zero. But we salute them — the hardly any — for being warriors in the great fight against this horribly overblown hoax-plague that could’ve killed millions were it not for President Trump’s great leadership.
What’s important now is that Americans come together and TRANSITION TO GREATNESS by closely adhering to the federal guidelines established by the coronavirus task force. Americans also need to REOPEN OUR COUNTRY immediately and completely disregard the aforementioned federal guidelines.
Everything’s fine, life can return to normal, and also President Trump has launched an initiative called Operation Warp Speed that will create a coronavirus vaccine in record time, because everything’s fine but a vaccine is crucial, but also not crucial. As the president said while announcing Operation Warp Speed: “We think we are going to have a vaccine in the pretty near future, and if we do, we are going to really be a big step ahead and if we don’t, we are going to be like so many other cases where you had a problem come in, it’ll go away at some point, it’ll go away.”
So the vaccine, which we’re traveling at warp speed to create, is vitally important and also no big deal because this coronavirus plague — which is nothing to worry about — will simply go away at some point.
Column: Trump’s coronavirus response has been brilliant. Here’s what you don’t understand.