● Kim Jong-un and Korean scientists formulated a miracle drug, according to Newsweek – a combination of ginseng and “rare earth elements” that, with one injection, can cure or treat Aids, Ebola, many cancers, heart disease, impotence, the common cold, “harm from use of computers”, epilepsy, all forms of hepatitis, venereal disease and ageing. It also, for some reason, renders its users “anti-radioactive.”
● Kim Jong-un could drive at age 3 and was a competitive sailor at age 9.
● Kim Jong-un and North Korean archaeologists also found a unicorn’s lair, or at least “recently reconfirmed” the location of unicorns ridden by the ancient Korean King Tongmyong, according to The Guardian. If people are distrustful of the discovery, it has a rectangular rock in front that reads: “Unicorn Lair”.
● Korean news agencies reported that Kim’s father, Kim Jong-il, learned to walk at 3 weeks old and once shot a round of golf that included 11 holes-in-one.
● People surprised by his greatness should only remember the day he was born, when a double rainbow suddenly appeared in the sky.
● Also, Kim Jong-il could control the weather, too.
