OT: 77th Obsequious Banter Thread: the one where everyone underperforms

[Beef Invictus]

He's being tasked with running down the villain from American Pie. That's why he's called The Rundown.

 

[Beef Invictus]

The wildly Scottish drunk pilot is drunk-Scoting some cows. This is foreshadowing and possibly foreskinning.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Dwayne The Rock Johnson has elected to wear a suit and loafers to the jungle

 

[Beef Invictus]

This commercial tells me the brush-mop self-cleans. I don't think it's important to the movie but I'll keep it in mind just in case.

 

[Beef Invictus]

BBC commercial breaks are an endless gauntlet of misery that rivals AMC commercial length. I can't take much more.

 

[Beef Invictus]

The villain from American Pie is trying to talk Ahsoka Tano into giving him a boat. He's calling her Arianna for some reason.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Ahsoka is in South America but her accent is a blend of Russian/American/Hutt


This means she is Exotic

 

[Beef Invictus]

Dwayne The Rock Johnson doesn't like guns. He is hassled.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Walken is f***ing glory.

 

[Beef Invictus]

The strip mine is a refrigerator

 

[Beef Invictus]

Even if these workers are paid one cent a day I'm pretty sure this labor force is still enormously inefficient and not cost effective, there's like a million people there.

 

[Beef Invictus]

4 minutes of movie followed by 97 minutes of commercials

 

[Beef Invictus]

I promised myself I'd make it to the tooth fairy but I can't do these commercials.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Dwayne The Rock Johnson has discovered the anomalous Ahsoka. He gave her sass. He craves beer.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Dwayne The Rock Johnson has stumbled upon his prey. He gives him two options. The option of luxury or the option of pain.


American Pie Villain attempts to reject both options. This will be inconvenient for us all.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Walkening is occurring. He also craves beer. Whip fight must ensue.

 

[Beef Invictus]

This is the greatest dialogue in the history of human expression. The pinnacle.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Dwayne The Rock Johnson used immense Wrestling (tm) to defeat the situation. Walken is not concerned and believes all fate is written and inevitable.

Fool.


As TE Lawrence told Sherif Ali, "Nothing is written."

That is why they are now in a river.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Dwayne The Rock Johnson is wildly overdressed.


This movie is basically the exact same as trying to get a toddler into the bath and bed nightly.

 

[Beef Invictus]

The Villain From American Pie is like Ryan Reynolds at his most annoying, but without the charisma.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Yep. Commercial. Filled with old people. That's enough. I'm sorry tooth fairy. I can't go on.

 

[Beef Invictus]

I did it. I made it.

"Do you understand, the CONCEPT, of the tooth fairy"


Now I can leave. My work here is done. I can cocoon myself in used meat and emerge 7 years later as a beautiful but anatomically correct beeferfly.

 

[DancingPanther]

 

[Starat327]

I did it. I made it.

"Do you understand, the CONCEPT, of the tooth fairy"


Now I can leave. My work here is done. I can cocoon myself in used meat and emerge 7 years later as a beautiful but anatomically correct beeferfly.

Get outta here, monkey

 

[Chinatown88]