Basically my idea is this: tank, but make it look like you're trying to compete. Sign a bunch of terrible players for one year, but the catch is that they aren't players that the average fan thinks are terrible. Basically you're manipulating your fan base into thinking that you're going to be good while purposely trying to be bad, ie Jim Benning the last year or two.
For example: Jarome Iginla was one of the worst forwards in the entire league last year, but if you asked the average Sharks fan (or NHL fan for that matter) I bet they wouldn't blink twice if I said that Iginla and Marleau are approximately equal right now. So you let Marleau walk and sign Iginla for one year as a "replacement" to appease the fans. Feed him big minutes and watch him tank whatever line he's put on.
The Sharks already have a shooting percentage issue: compound that by giving players who are good but aren't high shot quality players more minutes, like Hansen, Karlsson, etc. Load up a single line with all the top talent: in this case, Couture-Hertl-Pavelski. Colorado was still able to be ****ing awful despite having the Mackinnon/Rantanen line play terrific hockey. One line with all the talent is the best way to tank the forward group. Presumably Thornton will be out for at least the first couple of months; if not, I would be very concerned with whether he was taking his rehab seriously, and who knows how effective he'd even be? Give Danny O'Regan charge of the third line center spot; that should be easy to market since he was the AHL rookie of the year, but I expect he would crash and burn. Leave Meier and Labanc in the AHL for more "seasoning" (which I honestly wouldn't hate whatever we do). Goodrow could do some damage to the 4th line. Hell, give my man Buddy Robinson a shot.
On D, I don't think much would have to change. Vlasic and Braun were awful last year, which I think is mostly Braun's fault, so keep them together (then trade Braun next summer). Martin will be another year older. Expose Dillon in the expansion draft. I'm sure there's some awful third paring D out there we can sign one year to tank the Schlemko pairing (*cough* Polak). And obviously I have concerns about Burns, although I don't expect him to suck like he did the last couple months of this season.
As for goaltending: trade Dell, call up Grosenick and give him 30 games under the premise that you're giving Jones more rest this season because you have the AHL goaltender of the year to back him up. If I'm right that Grosenick is another Stalock, then he should be able to lose us a few games.
Our special teams are already trash. Nothing needs to change there!
Beyond that? Hope for some bad injury luck. Looking at this lineup, if Vlasic misses 20 games you're boned (in this scenario, to our benefit).
Couture-Hertl-Pavelski
Hansen-Thornton-Iginla
Karlsson-O'Regan-Donskoi
Ward-Tierney-Haley
Boedker, Sorensen, Goodrow
Vlasic-Braun
Martin-Burns
****** ass D-Schlemko
Mueller
Jones (50 games)
Grosenick (30 games)
Ideally you've signed Vlasic and Jones to extensions this summer so they don't up and bolt over this ****show.
Get a top-5 pick. Sell your marginal players (Ward, Hansen, maybe even Braun) for prospects and picks at the deadline, at which point you can call up the kids.
Then next season you let Iginla/"Polak" walk, bring up the kids, apologize to the fans, get a new backup, and hopefully you get a shiny top pick out of it. You still have Couture, Pavelski, Hertl, Thornton, Burns, Vlasic, Schlemko, Meier, Labanc, Donskoi, and Jones, so you can plausibly load up again.
Kind of like 2015, but more aggressively bad. Like the Canadiens in 2012, when they had some bad injury luck and ended up with Galchenyuk and then bounced right back into the playoffs the next year.
The key to tanking is secretly to not go scorched earth. Keep good players (for example: Kadri, JVR, Gardiner, Rielly). Sign awful players (Polak, Hunwick, Spaling, Boyes, Froese, Clune, etc.) in the short term to overwhelm the good players. If you do it right, you end up Toronto. If you go scorched earth, you end up Buffalo.
Is this incredibly unrealistic and does it count on a fair bit of luck? Absolutely. But at this point I think it's our best option. If there is anything that OrrNumber4 and I agree on, it's that without a top-5 pick, it is essentially impossible to get an elite young forward, which is the thing we need far and above anything else.