I'm only 16 and my life is a living hell hole. I've been through a lot of ****, and I'm currently going through a lot of ****. My dad and I have fought for years. Last year, I was diagnosed with severe depression. In 9th grade, I was a mid-high 90s student. The first semester of 10th grade, I was a low 90s student. Second semester my grades dropped into the 70s, and the 3rd semester my grades were low 50s. I was put on Prozac which wasn't helping, even at 50mg which is close to the maximum dose for an adolescent. In fact, I spent 17 hours in a hospital in a room with doctors, nurses, and other kids my around my age who were on suicide watch. My life was in a downward spiral until they put me on abilify along with the prozac. It helped me get better, but ruined my life simultaneously in a different way. I gained 70+ lbs in a matter of 4 months. I'm 16 years old, and have stretch marks all over my body and have man boobs for **** sake. I was so depressed about that that I threatened to either kill myself or go cold turkey on both meds, both of which are bad. The psychiatrist took me off the abilify gradually. I stopped eating so much, but now I'm back to square one. My grades are falling exponentially. I physically can't force my self to do homework. I sleep about 3 hours a night. I want to end it all to stop the pain. To complicate things even more, my best friend is bullying my other best friend and I have no freaking clue what to do. I currently have the door open at the room I'm in and hear my mom defending me while my grandparents are saying let me fail. What's funny about that, in a sick, twisted way, is that what my guidance counselor told my mom. Some guidance counselor she is.
I'm stuck in a hole too deep to get out of, and all I'm waiting for is my coffin to come to this hole I'm in. I'm actively considering stealing my parents car with only a learners permit (have to be 17 in NY to get a license) with my dog who is the only thing I care about in life besides hockey, fishing, and my mom, and drive down 22 hours to Tampa where I have a friend.
This was hard to say, and I haven't said it all.