Best Hockey Chirps

[keysersoze98]

Was reffing a bantam game tonight (13-14 year olds) and a kid was chirping about a call and we had chirped a bit all night. Finally he wasn't funny anymore and was being a *****. I replied pretty tough words for a guy who's dick doesn't even touch his underpants.

Sooooo, you insulted a 13-14 year old? Uhhhhh....

 

[10coach*]

Sooooo, you insulted a 13-14 year old? Uhhhhh....

Haha it's a good chirp. And some of the mouths on kids....

 

[Habs76]

An all-time favorite of mine is "Your shot flutters so much, it must make butterflies jealous"

 

[Missionhockey]

I've seen this in here, but in my game last week, this guy came down on me (I'm a dman) and tried to make a move and completely messed up.

I ask: "Is it hard to eat without hands?"

He was so rattled.

Under rated post

I'm not much of a chirper but I might use that on my friends.

 

[keysersoze98]

Haha it's a good chirp. And some of the mouths on kids....

I can't say I agree with you at all.

 

[moreohh]

Under rated post

I'm not much of a chirper but I might use that on my friends.

Watch out thats an easy chirp to come back with, if someone says it to you just reply "not your mother"

 

[moreohh]

Anyone who chirps with "is it hard to eat with no hands" can be shut up by quickly coming back with "not your mother" it shuts them up real quick haha

 

[Wooty]

Haha it's a good chirp. And some of the mouths on kids....

It isn't.

 

[10coach*]

It isn't.

Honestly it's great. Used to use it all the time so funny

 

[10coach*]

An all-time favorite of mine is "Your shot flutters so much, it must make butterflies jealous"

Weak

 

[Caeldan]

Anyone who chirps with "is it hard to eat with no hands" can be shut up by quickly coming back with "not your mother" it shuts them up real quick haha

Though if quick enough, can always retort 'my mother's dead you <insensitive clod>'... and just win with awkwardness

 

[DazedandConfused]

Though if quick enough, can always retort 'my mother's dead you <insensitive clod>'... and just win with awkwardness

Or just stay away from the eating part and insert other phrases into the role.

"must be hard to wipe with no hands eh baud" would be one way to go. This even gives you the options for more material with the same line.

 

[AW8]

My kiddo told a goalie to change his # to 5. Not sure goalie got it though because they are only 8 yrs old.

Same game as he was lining up for a face off he told the kid right before the puck dropped that he needed to poop.

Not sure what was up with kiddo that day, that was first time he ever chirped.

 

[Pete Mitchell]

Not really a chirp with my mouth but with my actions.

This is the setup- Playing against a A league ringer in my low B league after his 5th goal (of the first period) I slashed him pretty good on the thigh, he comes back an slashes me and says something like 'you have to expect that if you do it to me'. Later in the game I steal the puck from him with a stick lift and he comes down with a two hand slash that snaps my brand new pro stock stick in two (used for one game and two periods).

Here's the chirp- As he's skating to the penalty box to serve his 4 minutes (that's how ridiculous his slash was) I catch up to him take his stick and snap it over my knee to which I then said 'you have to expect that if you do it to me'. Most satisfying 10 minutes I've ever got. My team loved it. Only got the 10 so my team still had the 4 minute powerplay even though we were losing 11-5 at the time.

 

[10coach*]

My kiddo told a goalie to change his # to 5. Not sure goalie got it though because they are only 8 yrs old.

Same game as he was lining up for a face off he told the kid right before the puck dropped that he needed to poop.

Not sure what was up with kiddo that day, that was first time he ever chirped.

 

[Nibbler]

When you're on the bench and some punk lines up for a faceoff in front of you...

*Cough Cough Cough* "Man where did all this dust come from"

 

[Pasquatch]

Happened to me a few years back.

Not so much a "chirp" but definetly took me off my game.

During a game, a few years ago, I'm sporting a brand new Oakley visor. Well, this guy on the opposing team, decides to give me the "old face wash" to the visor.

I kinda of expect that to happen once in a while, so no big deal, right?

What I didn't expect is this guy had the habit of giving the palms of his mitts a little shot "Brut 33". Now I'm sitting on the bench with a greasy visor AND smell like a 70's lounge lizard.

The smell literally drove me nuts all game!

Talk about chemical warfare!

 

[Mr. Canucklehead]

Happened to me a few years back.

Not so much a "chirp" but definetly took me off my game.

During a game, a few years ago, I'm sporting a brand new Oakley visor. Well, this guy on the opposing team, decides to give me the "old face wash" to the visor.

I kinda of expect that to happen once in a while, so no big deal, right?

What I didn't expect is this guy had the habit of giving the palms of his mitts a little shot "Brut 33". Now I'm sitting on the bench with a greasy visor AND smell like a 70's lounge lizard.

The smell literally drove me nuts all game!

Talk about chemical warfare!

...that's kind of genius. Can definitely think of a couple of guys in my league it would be fun to pull a prank like that on!

 

[Ozz]

Not really a chirp with my mouth but with my actions.

This is the setup- Playing against a A league ringer in my low B league after his 5th goal (of the first period) I slashed him pretty good on the thigh, he comes back an slashes me and says something like 'you have to expect that if you do it to me'. Later in the game I steal the puck from him with a stick lift and he comes down with a two hand slash that snaps my brand new pro stock stick in two (used for one game and two periods).

Here's the chirp- As he's skating to the penalty box to serve his 4 minutes (that's how ridiculous his slash was) I catch up to him take his stick and snap it over my knee to which I then said 'you have to expect that if you do it to me'. Most satisfying 10 minutes I've ever got. My team loved it. Only got the 10 so my team still had the 4 minute powerplay even though we were losing 11-5 at the time.

 

[keysersoze98]

The smell literally drove me nuts all game!

I played club hockey in college. I had a skate issue early in the game so had to run to the locker room. While waiting to come back on the ice (no security guard there like when the whole team would come on/off), I got a beer poured on my from above. I felt like I was going to puke all game.

 

[Goonzilla]

Is it just me or do the guys who tend to get the most angry or aggro tend to be some of the smaller players?

I laid down a couple last night which hit the spot.

'Maybe you should find another sport; how about dwarf tossing? People could throw you a mile'

..and..

'Maybe if you'd quit smoking. You might be a little taller'.

I had no idea if they smoked or not, but I did see them lighting up in the car park afterwards. Good guess.

 

[Diddy]

I heard this during the memorial cup before the finals started between the winterhawks & mooseheads. A fan yelled to Seth Jones
"Eh Seth I've seen your playoff beard, it's patchy at best!"
Stupid but made me and my buddies laugh.

 

[RoyalGremlin]

When I get a bad call, I usually say "Hey ref, I may be deaf but you're blind!"

 

[FLYLine27*]

When I get a bad call, I usually say "Hey ref, I may be deaf but you're blind!"

The title reads, "BEST" hockey chirps, not worst.

 

[FLYLine27*]

When a player on the other team(Actually i'll usually yell it to my own teammates more) is able to make a really nice move to to the net, but can't finish I yell, "ALL BREAD, and NO BUTTER!"