Best Hockey Chirps

[Ozz]

When a player on the other team(Actually i'll usually yell it to my own teammates more) is able to make a really nice move to to the net, but can't finish I yell, "ALL BREAD, and NO BUTTER!"

All Swedish, no Finnish.

 

[Summer Rose]

Had a player I called a penalty on tonight call me a "ding dong"...

Uh what?

 

[Ozz]

Had a player I called a penalty on tonight call me a "ding dong"...

Uh what?

I'm gonna use that

 

[FLYLine27*]

Had a player I called a penalty on tonight call me a "ding dong"...

Uh what?

You referee with the pink hair? That would never be allowed in my organization.

 

[Summer Rose]

You referee with the pink hair? That would never be allowed in my organization.

Red with blonde streaks.

 

[Summer Rose]

Last night someone was obviously a Skyrim fan because he was saying lines from the game all night to his opponents. I had a VERY hard time keeping a straight face, because stuff like "You Imperial milk drinker!" is not something you expect to hear during a hockey game.

I wanted to pull the "I'd be a lot warmer and a lot happier with a belly full of mead" line on him after the game but didn't get the chance.

 

[LG18]

Not a big chirper with opponents I don't know.

But there was that one time, we played a street hockey tournament, and I'm not going to lie, I'm fat. So there's this guy calling me fatty in french since the warm up, but I'm used to it, so I don't pay attention much and try to focus on my game.

So the game happens, the guy is still calling me names, classic fat insults etc. Before the game, I saw him chatting with what looked like his girlfriend. Early 3rd period. I get an assist on a go ahead goal, and the guy starts yelling ''Nice pass fatty''. Couldn't help myself and finally answered ''Well maybe if your girlfriend would stop feeding me with a whole box of cookies each time I **** her maybe I'd be a little less fat'' all that while pointing his girlfriend.

The sound of his silence was satisfying. The look on his girlfriend's face was also worth $1000.

Ironically I scored the last goal of the game after I deked the guy. Good times.

Edit: Needless to say, both teams players were laughing pretty hard since I hadn't said anything prior to that. The guy was fair play though at the end of the game he apologized (and admitted to being speechless) and we drank a beer together.

 

[LG18]

Another good one.

Back when I was 17-18 years old, we had weekly evening friendly games at our former high school gymnasium.

One of my good friends is a goalie, and I had a pretty good game the last time we played (he was on my team). That time he was against me and was bragging about the fact that none of my shots would go in that night. all I could answer was ''yeah sure bud''

The game starts, and I score on the first shot, like 8 seconds in. I yell ''great save man!'' (yeah i'm such a loudmouth I know). He shrugs it off and doesn't pay attention. 5 minutes later, I bury another one. Once again I go with my killer line of ''Oh man that's a huge save''. Later I scored a 5th goal with a pretty sweet dangle. I had my back turned on him, yelling ''another unbelievable save by Halak'' (he hated Halak) with my best Pierre Houde voice and my friend completely lost it.

All I saw is a blocker flying to my left and turned around just in time to avoid his stick aiming for my shins. He jumped on me and said that he would kill me. We wrestled for a bit and we went down.

Maybe the fact that I couldn't wipe this stupid smirk of my face didn't help the situation either.

Good times.

 

[lorwood]

You have to say this with a real angry growl then sit back and see if they catch it.....AHHHH! YOUR MOTHERS SISTER IS YOUR AUNT!

 

[Club]

When I played ball hockey and I was small, people used to chirp me for that. Or how thin my blade was..

 

[STL Blues Fan]

"Hey ref are you pregnant because you missed the last two periods" I've never used it, just from one of Pavel Barber's videos on you tube.

 

[Goonzilla]

'Somebody dial 9-1-1, you're on fire..no really'.

 

[Goonzilla]

'Hey Elvis, your skates/hands have left the building'

 

[IamJust0ne]

There was an AMA for a professional referee on reddit and he said the best chirp he heard was when visors were just starting to become the norm and this guy with one was chirping a vet without one and without missing a beat the vet goes "Roll your windows down chump I can't hear you!"

 

[Alexander the Gr8]

When I pull off a nice deke between the legs of a defender, or I see someone who's a bad skater: "I know a good orthopedist, I could give you his number, maybe he can fix those ankles."

 

[Summer Rose]

From yesterday: "Your skill as a linesman is about as subpar as the paint job they did on the blue line you've been watching all night." (in reference to the blue line on that sheet being so faded that it's extremely difficult to see)

I don't know why but that one actually made me laugh.

 

[Jacques The Mayor]

When I pull off a nice deke between the legs of a defender, or I see someone who's a bad skater: "I know a good orthopedist, I could give you his number, maybe he can fix those ankles."

That's terrible

 

[Goonzilla]

That's terrible

Yeah, it is kinda. Shouldn't belittle someone just cause they're not near your level. Probably shouldn't be playing against them in the first place.

Put downs are for when someone else says or starts something.

 

[adaminnj]

Hey Tough Guy, I'll bet your pecker doesn’t touch your underpants.

 

[Summer Rose]

Hey Tough Guy, I'll bet your pecker doesn’t touch your underpants.

I'd be tempted to respond to that with, "I'm not wearing any" and then wink at them.

 

[Summer Rose]

This one's from a while ago but I was reminded of it reading through this thread.

I was a linesman for a midget game and the goalie stops play. Two opposing players skate towards each other as if baiting each other into starting something but neither does so they're just kind of awkwardly staring at each other. I'm skating in just in case they do something stupid, and the ref says to them "Come on now, you can get his number after the game..."

I had to try very hard to not lose it.

 

[lorwood]

When I pull off a nice deke between the legs of a defender, or I see someone who's a bad skater: "I know a good orthopedist, I could give you his number, maybe he can fix those ankles."

Classy

Reminds me of an old song;

"We're you born an a$$hole
Or did you work on it your whole life
Either way it don't matter
Cause your an a$$$$$$hole tonight"

 

[Muston Atthews]

A real good one is "how's your dad?" People don't seem to like that one

 

[adaminnj]

I'd be tempted to respond to that with, "I'm not wearing any" and then wink at them.

LOL

"Want to hear a little Nord wisdom? You don't really know a woman 'til you've had a strong drink and a fistfight with her."

 

[RoyalGremlin]

The title reads, "BEST" hockey chirps, not worst.

But... I actually AM deaf.