Ok Gents, i need your help because i feel like i'm losing my mind:
Back in July i fell for a girl, we went on a date and she told me she wanted to continue to see me, but other people as well. i put an end to it because I knew it would end poorly for me. We stopped talking because i really felt like she misled me, and i wanted to move on.
We lose a mutual friend to suicide in October, so we reconnect. A few weeks later I verify that we are just friends, and she says that we are (cool, works for me!) We finally start hanging out again, and she starts talking about how much fun she's having (at this point i'm seeing someone else, but she doesn't know about it).
2 weeks ago, i meet her best friend, and her best friend drunkenly tells me that she's crazy about me.
So, i bring it up to her. She tells me that she's never been able to reconcile her feelings for me because I put too much pressure on it (i disagree, but i'll accept that). Her words are "do i see you differently than other people? yes. Am i curious about it? Yes. But i've never had a chance to figure it out without feeling like I have to recoil."
So i tell her that we're just going to be friends. Things go well for a few days where it seems like a legitimate friendship, but she texts me ALL day. She has told me that she is a text ****e and texts everyone all day, though, so I don't read into it.
We hang out and I make a joke about liking her better when she's drunk because she actually "likes me then." She said "i like you all the time."
Two nights ago she is referring to me as love, and baby. So i ask her if she's drunk and she says no. I end the conversation there.
The last few days she's been talking to me about her ex coming back in her life and some other guy that's really into her. And i'm really trying to back away and not respond to her as often, but she'll message me when i don't respond.
its kind of driving me up the wall, because I want to preserve the friendship, and i'm obviously in love with her, but I don't feel like she's allowing me to.
Its been a struggle because i DO love talking to her all day. Its fun for me.