OT: The Thread About Nothing

[Bleedred]

Well if she does truely care about you the way you do then she will reach out or when you two talk next things may get better. Throwing a kid into it all really does make things a bit harder as the kid will and should always be the number one priority for her.. But I think it is also important to try not to freak out as much as you can right now and keep your mind occupied as much as possible. I can definitely relate to how you feel a lot even though the relationship is relatively newish..

Also she could be dealing with her own other problems you may not know about as much and perhaps she just needs a bit of time to herself to think.

I’m hoping that she just needs some time and that’s it. All I’ve got is time right now.

 

[Darkauron]

I’m hoping that she just needs some time and that’s it. All I’ve got is time right now.

Yeah. Time can be your worst enemy for sure...but keep on trucking bleed!

 

[BenedictGomez]

Wow, the Croatian president is pretty hot. At least they've got that going for them.

 

[TheUnseenHand]

Wow, the Croatian president is pretty hot. At least they've got that going for them.

I'd be pretty pissed if I had a French spy as a goalie despite having a hot president. A traffic cone would have been a better option.

Also, to the Excel discussion, I actually think Access is pretty underrated.

 

[Billdo]

Hello friends of HF Boards.

Over the last couple of months, I started seeing a woman, but I think I ****ed things up. I've been very distraught over the whole thing. I hate myself right now, I hate everything right now. I just wanna lock myself in the house and sleep, but my body only allows me to sleep so many hours and I can't even get to sleep half the time, because I'm thinking about everything that's happened. I don't wanna meet anybody else right now, it's too much work, it's too much stress, it's too much everything. I wouldn't push a good woman away right now, if she kind of came to me (like this one did), but I don't wanna put in any effort or go out of my way to find someone else.

I've been a little quiet on here lately, by my personal standards. I'm just going through some hard stuff, as I thought this would be a long term thing, but my ****ed up personality (which many of you probably have picked up from my posts) didn't allow me to keep this going. So I acted in ways I shouldn't have, and I'm really sorry that I did, but I'm not sure things will be the same between us again.

I'd love to post a little more with you all, get my mind off of things. I really have enjoyed lurking a little bit the last couple of days. A few posts have made me smile once or twice. So, for those posts that have, I'd like to thank those people. I'd also like to thank anyone who read this. I don't often vent like this, but I'm really doing poorly right now. It helped writing this a little bit.

- Your friend, Bleedred

A rising tide raises all ships. Here if you'd like to chat.

 

[Bleedred]

A rising tide raises all ships. Here if you'd like to chat.

Thanks.

 

[None Shall Pass]

Bleed, you might want to reach out to her and apologize. Even if she doesn't pick up the phone, you can still leave a simple voicemail. Something like, "Hey, I just wanted to call and apologize. I understand if you're upset with me, and I'd just like to try and make things right.", etc.

I've done that once or twice in the past, and even if it didn't work in fixing things, it made me feel a lot better about the situation. Everyone's human and makes a mistake every now and then.

 

[Nico the Draft Riser]

Sometimes things happen in ways youd never imagine

I dated a woman for close to four years and one day it was movie night, the next we were broken up and I have never heard from her since. Never got my belongings either (granted nothing too expensive). Thought I knew a person and never assumed they could disappear like that

Just have to roll with the punches and try to be positive - no woman over the house means more time for hockey.

 

[Bleedred]

Bleed, you might want to reach out to her and apologize. Even if she doesn't pick up the phone, you can still leave a simple voicemail. Something like, "Hey, I just wanted to call and apologize. I understand if you're upset with me, and I'd just like to try and make things right.", etc.

I've done that once or twice in the past, and even if it didn't work in fixing things, it made me feel a lot better about the situation. Everyone's human and makes a mistake every now and then.

Thanks, but I've done it, a few times. I've gotten her on the phone already. She didn't block my number, so hopefully that's a good sign.

The last time I spoke with her (early last evening) I asked her if she ever wanted to speak to me again. She said ''At this very moment, no''.

Not sure what that means. I know we all make mistakes, but this was too early in the relationship to make these kinds of mistakes. She said it reminded her of past relationships that were toxic.

 

[Darkauron]

Thanks, but I've done it, a few times. I've gotten her on the phone already. She didn't block my number, so hopefully that's a good sign.

The last time I spoke with her (early last evening) I asked her if she ever wanted to speak to me again. She said ''At this very moment, no''.

Not sure what that means. I know we all make mistakes, but this was too early in the relationship to make these kinds of mistakes. She said it reminded her of past relationships that were toxic.

If you dont mind me asking how long have you two been together?

 

[Bleedred]

Sometimes things happen in ways youd never imagine

I dated a woman for close to four years and one day it was movie night, the next we were broken up and I have never heard from her since. Never got my belongings either (granted nothing too expensive). Thought I knew a person and never assumed they could disappear like that

Just have to roll with the punches and try to be positive - no woman over the house means more time for hockey.

I hear you with that last one! No woman over the house means more time for hockey! But that's the thing, I haven't had women over the house a lot for the past several years. This isn't the worst feeling, I was in a 5+ year relationship when I was 21-26 (that's going back some time ago). I was hurt, but much more accepting, because that relationship ran its course. It was over. There were a lot of signs that it was over. What happened yesterday was a matter of a fight, not any kind of warning sign where things just ended.

The one I was with for 5 years, she was the best. There's never been another like her. It's been a decade and a half and I've still not come across one like her. She was the unicorn. Like, remember in A Bronx Tale (if you've seen it) where Sonny says ''You're only allowed three great women in your life?''. Well that was definitely one for me. There was another that was two. This one was on the way to being three, but it was still too early.

That's not to say I've dated bad women, they were okay or really good people, just not someone you click with or really like. I really liked this one that I've had this fight with. That's the only reason I even bring it up on here. It's something that's actively hurting me.

I will say one thing, I saw her online an hour or two ago. She was on for a while. I wanted to really send her another message, but I didn't. I came to a realization that this was my first bit of muscle that I've built over this. That was the first sign that I was a bit stronger than I thought I was. I'm gonna contact her eventually, but not today, not tomorrow, I'm gonna try for Thursday. If she contacts me before that? That's a good sign. If she doesn't contact me before that? It's necessarily a bad sign either.

 

[Bleedred]

If you dont mind me asking how long have you two been together?

We met right after the Devils season ended. I mean the series with Tampa. Probably a week later?

I know, pretty short time to get so bent out of shape over someone, but it sucks for a multitude of reasons.

 

[Satans Hockey]

We met right after the Devils season ended. I mean the series with Tampa. Probably a week later?

I know, pretty short time to get so bent out of shape over someone, but it sucks for a multitude of reasons.

Since nobody else has said it I'll be the a**hole, she's got a kid and still lives with the father of the kid. You've known her for 3-4 months. Consider this a blessing and run for the hills. Don't sell yourself short and find someone who has less drama and baggage surrounding their lives. It will be better for you as well.

 

[Bleedred]

Since nobody else has said it I'll be the a**hole, she's got a kid and still lives with the father of the kid. You've known her for 3-4 months. Consider this a blessing and run for the hills. Don't sell yourself short and find someone who has less drama and baggage surrounding their lives. It will be better for you as well.

Usually, I'd totally agree with you. But I have to also figure, there are a lot of women in this position. More than we realize. If they work a lower paying job and are dependent on the other parent's income, they'll stick around. I'm not sure what options she has at the moment, other than to go live with family or latch on to some other guy, which I have to say, she's been very, very good to me in that regard. I rarely have spent money on her (though I've offered), I bought her son something for his birthday, but that's the most she would allow me to do. I've occasionally (like yesterday morning) brought her coffee. She is definitely someone that has showed no signs of trying to use me, get money off of me, have me spend money on her kid. There's a lot of people like that, but she has not shown once to be like this.

Like I said, down the road I was open to having a conversation with her about her coming to move in with me, if this was going anywhere. It's too early for that right now, and after yesterday, it might also be something that never transpires.

 

[Billdo]

Usually, I'd totally agree with you. But I have to also figure, there are a lot of women in this position. More than we realize. If they work a lower paying job and are dependent on the other parent's income, they'll stick around. I'm not sure what options she has at the moment, other than to go live with family or latch on to some other guy, which I have to say, she's been very, very good to me in that regard. I rarely have spent money on her (though I've offered), I bought her son something for his birthday, but that's the most she would allow me to do. I've occasionally (like yesterday morning) brought her coffee. She is definitely someone that has showed no signs of trying to use me, get money off of me, have me spend money on her kid. There's a lot of people like that, but she has not shown once to be like this.

Like I said, down the road I was open to having a conversation with her about her coming to move in with me, if this was going anywhere. It's too early for that right now, and after yesterday, it might also be something that never transpires.

Did you do something specific or did it just sour out of nowhere?

 

[Bleedred]

Did you do something specific or did it just sour out of nowhere?

I got a little mad because she was playing with her phone, wasn't acknowledging much of what I was saying and she had been here for 4-4.5 hours at this point. She got a little too mad, she didn't sleep much the night before, this may have set her off easier, it also may have been the reason for her being in a so-so mood, which I should have earlier recognized.

Then she flipped out, said she was leaving, I tried to calm her down and then when she wouldn't calm down I said some mean stuff. Mostly questioning her feelings for me and implying she was still with her ex, even though I don't think she is. I have a bad habit when I think I'm burning a bridge and when it's burned to make sure to demolish it and just implode it. And that's what I did in that moment, thinking the bridge was already destroyed.

 

[Billdo]

I got a little mad because she was playing with her phone, wasn't acknowledging much of what I was saying and she had been here for 4-4.5 hours at this point. She got a little too mad, she didn't sleep much the night before, this may have set her off easier, it also may have been the reason for her being in a so-so mood, which I should have earlier recognized.

Then she flipped out, said she was leaving, I tried to calm her down and then when she wouldn't calm down I said some mean stuff. Mostly questioning her feelings for me and implying she was still with her ex, even though I don't think she is. I have a bad habit when I think I'm burning a bridge and when it's burned to make sure to demolish it and just implode it. And that's what I did in that moment, thinking the bridge was already destroyed.

I hear ya on burning the bridge before it even catches fire so to speak. The baggage the woman has is enough to scare anyone to be honest. The living arrangement is a tough pill to swallow and an easy way to start an argument.

 

[Bleedred]

I hear ya on burning the bridge before it even catches fire so to speak. The baggage the woman has is enough to scare anyone to be honest. The living arrangement is a tough pill to swallow and an easy way to start an argument.

It sucks.

I wished in the future maybe I could take her away. If things went good. She's in a tough financial situation, as far as packing up and moving on her own. I'm happy I didn't contact her today. That was the hardest part for me. Seeing if I can do that over the next 3+ days is gonna be tough, but I've done much harder. If she contacts me first, that's even better.

 

[Billdo]

It sucks.

I wished in the future maybe I could take her away. If things went good. She's in a tough financial situation, as far as packing up and moving on her own. I'm happy I didn't contact her today. That was the hardest part for me. Seeing if I can do that over the next 3+ days is gonna be tough, but I've done much harder. If she contacts me first, that's even better.

As difficult as it is to not reach out, it's probably best that you don't tbh. It'll gradually get easier and you'll get to the point where it's no longer difficult, unless she reaches out first like you've said. That's a different ball game. I couldn't be involved with someone like that myself. There's going to be way too many thoughts going through my head with that living situation.

 

[Bleedred]

As difficult as it is to not reach out, it's probably best that you don't tbh. It'll gradually get easier and you'll get to the point where it's no longer difficult, unless she reaches out first like you've said. That's a different ball game. I couldn't be involved with someone like that myself. There's going to be way too many thoughts going through my head with that living situation.

There's a lot of thoughts with me about it too.

I just don't know anymore. I didn't think I could go a day without talking to her while we're on these bad terms and I just have, so I'm a bit stronger than I gave myself credit for.

 

[Billdo]

There's a lot of thoughts with me about it too.

I just don't know anymore. I didn't think I could go a day without talking to her while we're on these bad terms and I just have, so I'm a bit stronger than I gave myself credit for.

That's a good thing. I mean you'll be into whoever you're into but as the saying goes, there's plenty of fish in the sea. Keep the positive attitude going.

 

[EliasFTW]

I got a little mad because she was playing with her phone, wasn't acknowledging much of what I was saying and she had been here for 4-4.5 hours at this point. She got a little too mad, she didn't sleep much the night before, this may have set her off easier, it also may have been the reason for her being in a so-so mood, which I should have earlier recognized.

Then she flipped out, said she was leaving, I tried to calm her down and then when she wouldn't calm down I said some mean stuff. Mostly questioning her feelings for me and implying she was still with her ex, even though I don't think she is. I have a bad habit when I think I'm burning a bridge and when it's burned to make sure to demolish it and just implode it. And that's what I did in that moment, thinking the bridge was already destroyed.

Sounds like you're better off without her. Walking on eggshells over the little problem of not enough sleep this early in a relationship only means that later more things would set her off. Like brushing your teeth too loudly or not cleaning the lint trap correctly.

 

[Darkauron]

Sounds like you're better off without her. Walking on eggshells over the little problem of not enough sleep this early in a relationship only means that later more things would set her off. Like brushing your teeth too loudly or not cleaning the lint trap correctly.

I do have to agree with this a bit tbh

 

[Bleedred]

Sounds like you're better off without her. Walking on eggshells over the little problem of not enough sleep this early in a relationship only means that later more things would set her off. Like brushing your teeth too loudly or not cleaning the lint trap correctly.

I tend to give her a bit more of a break with the fatigue and sleep because she's a mother. As someone with no kids, I still operate under the assumption that it's harder work than what I do. Just an assumption though. I've cared for a sick loved one before, but that's the closest I've ever come to anything near parenthood.

 

[Davegarri]

Also, to the Excel discussion, I actually think Access is pretty underrated.

I despise Access. I should probably become better at it though. May become useful at some point in my career to know it.