Opening night. Rangers vs Capitals. In the wake of the last year's controversy, the energy has never been higher. Tom Wilson takes the ice and the harbinger of justice Ryan Reaves follows.
The two behemoths stare down one another. The battle is agreed upon. Gloves drop. What happens next will shake the foundations of heaven and earth and subvert the fabric of all human relations.
Wilson and Reaves proceed to hug it out in an extremely awkward, jersey grabbing 13 seconds of carnage. Wilson hugs left but Reaves counters by hugging him with a right. Wilson tries a follow up hug but is thwarted by Reaves who pulls out his secret of secret weapons, the reverse hug.
The battle ends. The villain from DC has been vanquished. He is forced to put his shoulder pad back into his jersey after it was temporarily displaced from the previous hug fest.
Reaves is lauded a hero. At long last, the rival dragon has met his match.
5 minutes pass as Wilson exits the penalty box and proceeds to board Artemi Panarin which dislocates his shoulder and gives him a concussion. Wilson is fined $5,000.