I, personally, didn't get any sense that Rey was conflicted about her level of emotion or that there was any judgment being placed on it. In contrast, both were stressed in the OT. Yoda taught Luke that "anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they." It was just a vision, but Luke seeing his face under the mask was a warning that striking down Vader in that manner would lead him to the dark side. After that, Luke worked harder to control his emotion, culminating in him refusing to finish off a wounded Vader when he had the chance.
What did Rey do when she had a chance to finish off Kylo in TRoS? She bared her teeth, made an aggressive sound and plunged her lightsaber into him. So much for anger and aggression being the dark side. Can you imagine if the rules of conduct that applied to Luke had been enforced with Rey? It probably would've been criticized as sending a message that women shouldn't be overly emotional. We can't have that in today's culture, so Rey is a less interesting character, a conflict that was important in the OT and PT is mostly missing and the ST "feels" less like Star Wars because of it, IMO.