Parent refusing to wear mask

[Mr Jiggyfly]

Has anyone had to deal with a situation where someone won’t wear a mask properly at your rink and you had to say something?

We are having an issue with one of the fathers on my daughter’s team constantly wearing a mask under his chin... and he’s been asked politely by the rink owners to wear his mask properly, and he acts like it’s a mistake and puts it on... then continues to wear it under his chin when they walk away.

I saw him doing it again at her practice yesterday and I wanted to grab him by the throat and smash his head into the wall.

Obviously that won’t go over well, but he’s been asked numerous times and continues to put my daughter, her teammates, and the other parents at risk.

I used to get along with this guy, but he’s a total anti-masker and makes idiotic comments on his Facebook how we are having our “liberties repressed”.... it’s gotten to the point that the coach of the team and this individual go at it different times.

To complicate matters, his daughter and my daughter are friends... and if I forcefully say something to him, I know it’s going to cause a number of all around problems.

Again, he’s been asked nicely several times to wear his mask properly... I’m not sure what can be done except to confront him myself, but again it’s a catch 22.

Click to read more...

 

[Filthy Dangles]

tell the rink owners/manager that there's a douche who keeps taking off his mask on their premises after they walk away from him.

if it remains such an issue, you could try to get law enforcement involved.

 

[HotDish]

Has anyone had to deal with a situation where someone won’t wear a mask properly at your rink and you had to say something?

We are having an issue with one of the fathers on my daughter’s team constantly wearing a mask under his chin... and he’s been asked politely by the rink owners to wear his mask properly, and he acts like it’s a mistake and puts it on... then continues to wear it under his chin when they walk away.

I saw him doing it again at her practice yesterday and I wanted to grab him by the throat and smash his head into the wall.

Obviously that won’t go over well, but he’s been asked numerous times and continues to put my daughter, her teammates, and the other parents at risk.

I used to get along with this guy, but he’s a total anti-masker and makes idiotic comments on his Facebook how we are having our “liberties repressed”.... it’s gotten to the point that the coach of the team and this individual go at it different times.

To complicate matters, his daughter and my daughter are friends... and if I forcefully say something to him, I know it’s going to cause a number of all around problems.

Again, he’s been asked nicely several times to wear his mask properly... I’m not sure what can be done except to confront him myself, but again it’s a catch 22.

Not me personally, but i have a cousin that runs youth hockey camps in the summer. He had one parent that made a fuss about wearing a mask. He said crap like they don't work and Covid isn't worse than the flu, plus the I can't breath. They pretty much came to an agreement that he needed to wear a mask coming in and out. When watching the games/training he could take it off if he sat up in the part of the stands that noone was in.

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

tell the rink owners/manager that there's a douche who keeps taking off his mask on their premises after they walk away from him.

if it remains such an issue, you could try to get law enforcement involved.

We have mentioned it to the owners son, which is why they told him in the first place.

We are thinking of asking the coach to do something, because the owner and his kids aren’t always at the rink.

I don’t know why the hell this has to be an issue, but it clearly is... I just checked some LiveBarn footage while he was watching practice and he still had his mask down from when I left the rink.

Not me personally, but i have a cousin that runs youth hockey camps in the summer. He had one parent that made a fuss about wearing a mask. He said crap like they don't work and Covid isn't worse than the flu, plus the I can't breath. They pretty much came to an agreement that he needed to wear a mask coming in and out. When watching the games/training he could take it off if he sat up in the part of the stands that noone was in.

This dickwad stands next to other parents and talks with his mask down, then for practices, he goes into the stands and sits near them and keeps BSing with it down.

The owner of the rink has made it quite clear to all of us via emails, notices all over the rink and in person we need to wear masks.

It’s not like he’s suggesting we do it, he’s made it mandatory.

 

[Porter Stoutheart]

If the coach is already going at it with him too... seems like a good approach might be for all the parents to make sure the coach knows everybody else is concerned about this, has his back, and that he has to put his foot down. If it is jeopardizing the opportunity of all the girls to keep enjoying the game, then ultimately the coach may have to remove that family from the team. It sucks for his girl, but in this environment you can't afford risking the whole team and it's important that the right examples are set so that nobody else slips into those habits.

But if the coach won't do that... well, definitely at least the guy should be shunned. Full cancel. Everybody keeps their distance and nobody talks to him, at all, about anything. You don't even nod a greeting in the parking lot. I doubt there's anything you can say, forcefully or otherwise, that will get through. But if every single person in the rink obviously moves away any time he is near, or refuses to acknowledge anything he says and turns away... maybe he'll get the message.

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

If the coach is already going at it with him too... seems like a good approach might be for all the parents to make sure the coach knows everybody else is concerned about this, has his back, and that he has to put his foot down. If it is jeopardizing the opportunity of all the girls to keep enjoying the game, then ultimately the coach may have to remove that family from the team. It sucks for his girl, but in this environment you can't afford risking the whole team and it's important that the right examples are set so that nobody else slips into those habits.

But if the coach won't do that... well, definitely at least the guy should be shunned. Full cancel. Everybody keeps their distance and nobody talks to him, at all, about anything. You don't even nod a greeting in the parking lot. I doubt there's anything you can say, forcefully or otherwise, that will get through. But if every single person in the rink obviously moves away any time he is near, or refuses to acknowledge anything he says and turns away... maybe he'll get the message.

This guy is friends with all of the parents (his girl has been on the team for a few years).

He and the team manager are really good friends as well. So none of these people will say a damn thing to him...

Ironically, the team manger sent out a memo yesterday to remind the girls to keep their masks on up until they go on the ice.

Then I walk into the rink yesterday evening and see the manager talking to this clown with his mask down as usual. It’s like wtf dude? You warn us about our kids and their mask, but won’t say something to him...?

The coach, again does have his issues with this parent though.

So my wife and I think approaching him to handle the situation may be best...

I’m pretty pissed we even have to deal with this TBTH...

 

[Porter Stoutheart]

Well, the way things are going you might not have to worry about hockey much longer anyway.

If it does get shut down, can at least make a point of sending around an email reply thanking "clowns like Ted" for it. Thanks Ted!

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

Well, the way things are going you might not have to worry about hockey much longer anyway.

If it does get shut down, can at least make a point of sending around an email reply thanking "clowns like Ted" for it. Thanks Ted!

Ya, my wife said that exact thing last night.

This guy wants his daughter to play college hockey and is obsessed with making her great... so you would think he would do everything he can to help keep the rinks open.

I guess that would take common sense on his end though.

 

[HansonBro]

What a total dick. Way to set an example.

I had a thing the other day where a friend of mine said she went to the gym just to use a treadmill on one of the last nice days we have left. It was 20 and sunny! Like go for a walk you clown. Oh and she took her daughter too.

I gave her my opinion and pretty much told her to F off

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

Quick update on this...

I decided it would cause issues if I confronted this parent and asked the coach if he could handle the situation.

The coach’s wife is a nurse and he was aware of the situation and concerned as well.

So he and the team manager talked to this parent about keeping his mask on at a practice this morning.

The parent listened, but poured and sat way in the corner of the bleachers and refused to talk to the team manager.

This parent and the team manager always sit together and BS during practice... so it was an awkward scene and I felt badly for the team manager.

I don’t know why people have to be like this, but we need to stay safe and this cat just doesn’t get it for whatever reasons.

 

[cynicalcitizen]

Quick update on this...

I decided it would cause issues if I confronted this parent and asked the coach if he could handle the situation.

The coach’s wife is a nurse and he was aware of the situation and concerned as well.

So he and the team manager talked to this parent about keeping his mask on at a practice this morning.

The parent listened, but poured and sat way in the corner of the bleachers and refused to talk to the team manager.

This parent and the team manager always sit together and BS during practice... so it was an awkward scene and I felt badly for the team manager.

I don’t know why people have to be like this, but we need to stay safe and this cat just doesn’t get it for whatever reasons.

First, I would say that regardless of personal feelings about mask wearing, it is only right to follow the rules on the property you are visiting. Second, I would say it is a complete failing on the part of rink personnel/management/ownership for not handling the situation. They bear the responsibility. I think it's clearly best that you, as a fellow parent without a leadership position on the team, should not be the one addressing it. Last, I don't think you should be worried about his feelings and response to being told to follow the rules. Don't let his bad attitude bring you down. He chose to put all of you in a bad position, and he chose to react to the manager in the manner he did. So be it. He is not giving you any consideration, so I don't think he has earned any either.

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

First, I would say that regardless of personal feelings about mask wearing, it is only right to follow the rules on the property you are visiting. Second, I would say it is a complete failing on the part of rink personnel/management/ownership for not handling the situation. They bear the responsibility. I think it's clearly best that you, as a fellow parent without a leadership position on the team, should not be the one addressing it. Last, I don't think you should be worried about his feelings and response to being told to follow the rules. Don't let his bad attitude bring you down. He chose to put all of you in a bad position, and he chose to react to the manager in the manner he did. So be it. He is not giving you any consideration, so I don't think he has earned any either.

I don’t feel an ounce of sympathy for the parent.

He’s a total douche nozzle and selfish.

I just felt badly for the team manager because those two always sit together and talk and laugh...

You could feel the awkwardness and I know the team manager probably felt like a dick/bad guy, etc when the man baby sat at the very top corner of the stands pouting.

The team manager is a dad also and volunteers his time to help run the team. Just seems unfair for him to deal with the BS... know what I mean?

Just feel so pissed off about the situation.

 

[ted2019]

Should've just got somebody to shot a puck at his head instead as a warning.

 

[Goodforyoursoul]

Instead of ridicule and anger, ask him where he gets his information. Then go read it for yourself.

 

[Porter Stoutheart]

Instead of ridicule and anger, ask him where he gets his information. Then go read it for yourself.

This is probably more a task for a really close friend or a family member, not something you can really do to try to help a casual hockey acquaintance. Friends or family may be able to try to drill down to the source of the misinformation that could be fueling this guy's selfish and ignorant behavior, and gradually debunk it and point out its flaws. But the average hockey acquaintance won't have the time or motivation to put that much effort into it. Easier to just get the rink to ban him or the coach to kick him off the team. But it could be an option if you do happen to know one of his close friends, or maybe if his wife sometimes brings the daughter to the rink instead, to just approach them ask them if they've noticed the guy's behavior and is there any chance they might be able to help talk to him?

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

Instead of ridicule and anger, ask him where he gets his information. Then go read it for yourself.

Where he gets his (bad) information won’t change the reality that he’s breaking the rules, clearly posted all over the rink by the owner.

If a Covid task force member comes in and sees people without masks, the owner would get shut down.

Not sure how this guy is consuming his information makes it ok to keep ignoring the rink owners rules.

 

[Filthy Dangles]

Instead of ridicule and anger, ask him where he gets his information. Then go read it for yourself.

probably OANN or some dumbass on Twitter, so nothing worth reading.

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

probably OANN or some dumbass on Twitter, so nothing worth reading.

He friended my wife on FB and she has seen all the dumb ass anti-masker stuff he posts.

It’s not credible and all been debunked.

 

[CheckingLineCenter]

With this guy I wouldn’t approach him on a personal basis. Won’t do any good and he probably won’t change his ways.

As someone who coaches travel sports (lacrosse) during this pandemic— I’d ask your coach or manager to speak with him directly, or ask your coach or manager to go to the venue and have them enforce it. Sounds so dumb but youth sports can be super political and undercutting the chain of command and giving the coach/manager problems without their knowledge could cause more damage.

I’m not sure if your team is part of an entire club where there is a director, but that would be another good avenue imo.

 

[Porter Stoutheart]

With this guy I wouldn’t approach him on a personal basis. Won’t do any good and he probably won’t change his ways.

As someone who coaches travel sports (lacrosse) during this pandemic— I’d ask your coach or manager to speak with him directly, or ask your coach or manager to go to the venue and have them enforce it. Sounds so dumb but youth sports can be super political and undercutting the chain of command and giving the coach/manager problems without their knowledge could cause more damage.

I’m not sure if your team is part of an entire club where there is a director, but that would be another good avenue imo.

That last point is a great one. Associations are really the first line where questions are asked at higher levels. And they don't want anything go awry within their jurisdiction. Taking it to the league/association risk/safety manager or president etc would be another great idea that avoids making it purely a team issue.

 

[CheckingLineCenter]

That last point is a great one. Associations are really the first line where questions are asked at higher levels. And they don't want anything go awry within their jurisdiction. Taking it to the league/association risk/safety manager or president etc would be another great idea that avoids making it purely a team issue.

Also adds a level of insulation where this individual doesn’t have to know who specifically complained. Or that anyone complained at all (could be framed in a managerial way as “hey man, I get it, everyone has opinions. but rules are rules and I can’t let mask compliance get this team shut down”, etc).

Which then hopefully means you’re avoiding any sort of confrontation or conflict between the parents so it doesn’t strain the girls ability to be teammates or more importantly friends.

Tough and awkward situation though. I’m very grateful I haven’t run into it myself.

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

With this guy I wouldn’t approach him on a personal basis. Won’t do any good and he probably won’t change his ways.

As someone who coaches travel sports (lacrosse) during this pandemic— I’d ask your coach or manager to speak with him directly, or ask your coach or manager to go to the venue and have them enforce it. Sounds so dumb but youth sports can be super political and undercutting the chain of command and giving the coach/manager problems without their knowledge could cause more damage.

I’m not sure if your team is part of an entire club where there is a director, but that would be another good avenue imo.

Ya, we had the team manager handle it.

The guy pouted and ignored the team manager after that, even though they used to be really friendly.

He wore his mask properly that day, but yesterday at the game he was wearing it under his nose.

It’s just getting tiresome with this guy.

Also, I don’t care if he knows it’s me complaining, I would actually prefer he knows I’m pissed.

However, since our daughters are friends, I get the situation and knew it was best handled discreetly.

 

[HansonBro]

Ya, we had the team manager handle it.

The guy pouted and ignored the team manager after that, even though they used to be really friendly.

He wore his mask properly that day, but yesterday at the game he was wearing it under his nose.

It’s just getting tiresome with this guy.

Also, I don’t care if he knows it’s me complaining, I would actually prefer he knows I’m pissed.

However, since our daughters are friends, I get the situation and knew it was best handled discreetly.

Phone the league and inform the officials of everything. If the rinks cant /wont enforce anything, the league will.

 

[Porter Stoutheart]

Ya, we had the team manager handle it.

The guy pouted and ignored the team manager after that, even though they used to be really friendly.

He wore his mask properly that day, but yesterday at the game he was wearing it under his nose.

It’s just getting tiresome with this guy.

Also, I don’t care if he knows it’s me complaining, I would actually prefer he knows I’m pissed.

However, since our daughters are friends, I get the situation and knew it was best handled discreetly.

I guess the other thing I neglected to consider... sometimes you might be careful of guys who are trying to drive their kids to the NCAA in that they tend to become coaches at some point... in which case you may not wish to be in such a person's bad books. Although if he's not on the ice in some capacity already, it's probably not this guy.

And while I can happily report no encounters to date of coaching types who take the anti-mask approach... I do not doubt they are out there, somewhere.

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

I guess the other thing I neglected to consider... sometimes you might be careful of guys who are trying to drive their kids to the NCAA in that they tend to become coaches at some point... in which case you may not wish to be in such a person's bad books. Although if he's not on the ice in some capacity already, it's probably not this guy.

And while I can happily report no encounters to date of coaching types who take the anti-mask approach... I do not doubt they are out there, somewhere.

He doesn't coach, but I wouldn't care either way if I'm being honest.

Not sure he ever even played the sport, but just a guess based on some observations.

All the coaches we are around wear masks and are respectful, so thankfully it's not an issue.