Captain Dave Poulin
Imaginary Cat
Welcome to The Flyers Board NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot, SUPER F***ING AMAZING PHASE TWENTY-FIVE!
AMAZEBALLS!
First of all, we are thinking of Strawberry Fields and sending him all of our thoughts and prayers. Hopefully everything is OK and turns out well.
This is a historic moment in the history of drafting shit. To the best of my knowledge, no other group of losers in the history of drafting shit has ever drafted enough shit to reach 25 complete phases. And believe me, I’ve checked. So we have a lot to be proud of, to go with everything we have to be ashamed of. I’d like to send a special shout-out to the Philadelphia Flyers for being so utterly, relentlessly shit that it has left us with no choice but to find some kind of escape.
Somehow, thanks mostly to good suggestions from the members (phrasing) of the Quackverse Ultra Exploration and Settlement Team (Q.U.E.S.T.), we have 12 great categories to plunge through. Seriously, it is incredibly difficult to believe that there is anything left to get excited about after 24 of these, but we have them. And there is more out there – we just have to find it.
I chose to hold off on the new players from the entry draft. I wanted to give Starberry a chance to have a shot at them all, because I think he will care about it.
THE RATIONAL SHIT
- Team BBQ Food Item – This is not something where we have to worry about things which have been picked before – just pick something which is typically barbecued or slathered in barbecue sauce, or whatever. I think we have a lot of grillers in here, so if you want to see this as “barbecued or grilled food,” that should be fine. Be specific – if your defective ass picks “Barbecued Meat,” you will be the one getting sliced.
- Team Century/Country – Pick any century past, present or future and the country or area during which that century occurred or is occurring or will occur. This could be the setting for your civilization, or part of your civilization, or something like that. It doesn’t mean that your technology will be limited to that time and place – this is more about the appearance and vibe of the time and place. Again, don’t worry about picking something that has been picked before – as this is about styling, that time and place will be used as a model and not “taken,” if you see what I mean. A century OR place can be taken more than once, but the combination can only be taken once.
- Team Decade/Country – This is exactly the same, but for a decade instead of a century. Your decade and place don’t have to match the century and country you choose with the other category – we are basically taking two things on which to base our style and vibe. Just work through how you want your shit to look and feel.
- Team Detective – You can’t pick someone who was explicitly chosen for something before. For example, Sherlock Holmes was chosen by the Plats as a shoe, i.e. as a “gumshoe,” and Batman was chosen by the Chimps as “cartoon character,” so they are off-limits. Don’t pick detectives which have appeared in TV shows, movies or books which have already been taken. That makes this a CATEGORY FOUR category, so it’s pretty f***ing strict, innit. There are about a billion detectives out there, so don’t whine about it.
- Team Energy Drink – You must pick a specific brand AND flavor/color of energy drink. We do not want another Dorito’s situation and will not stand for one.
- Team Neighbor – This is someone who will live next to your residence in your civilization. You can see this as “allowing easy access” to someone, or “someone who can keep their eyes on my perimeter,” or whatever you want, as long as the person has not been explicitly picked before.
- Team Pet – We have a “Dog/Cat Breed,” and this doesn’t have to match that, nor do you have to think of this as the ONLY pet you will have – this is just a chance to pick a specific pet that you will bring with you and have nearby all the time, at least at home. It can be real or fictional, but it should NOT be a human. I am going to be doing a lot of heavy petting with women out there – it’s one of the biggest reasons I am going – and I am sure Young Sandwich will fondle everything in sight, but this one is meant to be an “animal” of some kind.
- Team President of Hockey Ops – Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to choose a terrible f***head to be your team’s President of Hockey Ops. Think of Keith Jones and choose accordingly. This is essentially a spite category by another name, and while we will not necessarily torture these f***ers, they will serve as reminders out there in the great unknown of how horribly awry everything can go when you fall into the trap of broad organizational nepotism and clusterf***headedness. Don’t pick someone who has been chosen before, even if you are the one that chose them – this should be someone new. It can be someone real or fictional.
- Team Robot – Your robot can come from anywhere as long as they haven’t explicitly been chosen for something before. That means that “Star Wars” and other sci fi things are fair game. There’s just no way we could do it otherwise, and this is too great a category to pass up.
- Team Video Game Boss – This can be a final boss, or intermediary boss, or first-level boss. Don’t worry if the game in which the boss appears has been chosen before – it is open and fair game. Think of the boss as someone you set up as a trap when your enemies attack, or someone you send out to make hits on your enemies, or someone you put in a cage and throw rotten vegetable at – whatever you want.
- Team Video Game System – You have to choose a specific iteration of the system, so rather than “Playstation,” choose “Playstation 5,” unless there is only a single iteration of the given system. I think there are enough to go around. If you get bummed about having to choose an older one, just think of the scientists in your team and how they will be able to develop new games for the system, so you won’t be stuck with only the games that have already come out.
- Team WW2 Plane – This is any plane which appeared and took part in WW2. I chose the Spitfire for my attack vehicle, but I think that was the only one which has been taken. I have been saving this category for this phase, because I love it and think it rules.
For the first round, we will give everyone 12 hours to get revved up again - for all the succeeding rounds, it will be six hours. The daily clock starts at 8 a.m. and ends at 10 p.m., all times Eastern. This is a MONGOOSE DRAFT, which is the same functionally as a snake draft, but isn’t named after the turboc*** of the animal world.
Don't forget to tag the next person in your pick post AND send a PM.
DRAFT ORDER
BigToe - Stockholm Simps
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
Hollywood Cannon - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
BernieParent - Halifax Galleons
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
Asnito - Tijuana Toads
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
Striiker - Allentown Attack
Beef Invictus - D.C. Mutineers
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
DON’T FORGET TO STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH QUACKVERSE MERCH AND/OR SWAG!
RIVALRIESBigToe - Stockholm Simps
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
Hollywood Cannon - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
BernieParent - Halifax Galleons
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
Asnito - Tijuana Toads
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
Striiker - Allentown Attack
Beef Invictus - D.C. Mutineers
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
DON’T FORGET TO STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH QUACKVERSE MERCH AND/OR SWAG!
| HOST | RIVAL | |
| Allentown Attack | vs | New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins |
| Chicago Chimpanzees | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| D.C. Mutineers | vs | Seattle Sockeyes |
| Honolulu Ghibli | vs | Jacksonville Methgators |
| Jacksonville Methgators | vs | Tampa Bay Firesticks |
| Las Vegas Desert Ducks | vs | Providence Platypi |
| Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha! | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| Los Angeles Whalers | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Montreal Sexpos | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins | vs | Allentown Attack |
| New York M.A.D. Cats | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Philadelphia Villains | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Portland Fog | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
| Providence Platypi | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| Quebec Lapins | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Seattle Sockeyes | vs | Vancouver Beavers |
| St. Paul Stay Pufts | vs | Tijuana Toads |
| Tampa Bay Firesticks | vs | Jacksonville Methgators |
| Tijuana Toads | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
| Vancouver Beavers | vs | Seattle Sockeyes |
| Virginia Beach Surge | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
NO NAMING NAMES, NO PICK TIPPING, NO ICE CREAM BANTER, NO TWITCH SHIT, SNITCHES GET STITCHES!
LEARN TO F***ING READ!
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE ON INSTAGRAM
LEARN TO F***ING READ!
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE ON INSTAGRAM
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