NFL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - ISOLATED PHASE! Part One!

[CanadianFlyer88]

As much as the place kicker is an afterthought, especially in this draft, we still may find ourselves needing a score of three points or fewer to tie or win a game in the dying seconds. So, I guess we'll take PK Robbie Gould, a player I saw live in the worst football game ever played between the Bears and Chiefs in 2011. A 10-3 Chiefs win, the only touchdown was scored on a first half hail Mary by NFL legend Tyler Palko that Brian Urlacher knocked directly into the hands of Chiefs' RB Dexter McCluster. It was an awful affair, which was a shame because it concluded my Midwest sports trip in which I saw 7 games in 11 days spanning the NFL, NHL and NCAA basketball while visiting my friend who was completing a post doc at Ohio State.



@JojoTheWhale, put your back into it.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

Optionality is again the key here. We have outside Corners. We have coverage LBs. We have Safeties who can play back or up. The last piece to our defense needs to be able to do three things -- cover Slot receivers, make Tackles in the run game, and be a Turnover creator. I can only think of one player in the history of the league could do those three things and still be freakily athletic enough to fit our theme, FLEX CB/S Antoine Winfield.

@ajgoal All you.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Optionality is again the key here. We have outside Corners. We have coverage LBs. We have Safeties who can play back or up. The last piece to our defense needs to be able to do three things -- cover Slot receivers, make Tackles in the run game, and be a Turnover creator. I can only think of one player in the history of the league could do those three things and still be freakily athletic enough to fit our theme, FLEX CB/S Antoine Winfield.

@ajgoal All you.

I half expected you to draft the guy I just wrongly tried to draft for your flex, but I forgot your need for voltage.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

I half expected you to draft the guy I just wrongly tried to draft for your flex, but I forgot your need for voltage.

I didn’t see it, but I also considered another coverage LB pretty heavily. Ultimately that guy is way more famous and likely valuable, but I’d rather talk about Winfield because he was fun as hell and pretty damn unique in the modern game.

 

[ajgoal]

Finishing up the defense. Was going to pick a guy for nostalgia, but instead decided on another LB. Since I've been on a nickname kick anyway, this one fits the bill for the nickname of the defense.

Defensive FLEX: Jack Lambert

 

[ajgoal]

And to coach this pack of misfits, the hoody himself.

Coach: Bill Belichick

@JojoTheWhale - this is the end.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Finishing up the defense. Was going to pick a guy for nostalgia, but instead decided on another LB. Since I've been on a nickname kick anyway, this one fits the bill for the nickname of the defense.

Defensive FLEX: Jack Lambert

We almost made it without including this greasy cheating wankstain. Oh well.

 

[ajgoal]

We almost made it without including this greasy cheating wankstain. Oh well.

I picked him just for you.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

Round out our cast of freaks is a perfect fit, TE Jimmy Graham.

That makes our receiving corps:

6’4” 210 lb Randy Moss with a 40 time of 4.25 seconds
6’5” 237 lb Calvin Johnson with a 40 time of 4.35 seconds
6’3” 220 lb Julio Jones with a 40 time of 4.39 seconds
6’7” 265 lb Jimmy Graham with a 40 time of 4.56 seconds

Julio’s the smallest one. I’m cackling.

@CanadianFlyer88 I wonder if the Canucks will still be finishing their season when the Cup is awarded.

 

[DancingPanther]

Round out our cast of freaks is a perfect fit, TE Jimmy Graham.

That makes our receiving corps:

6’4” 210 lb Randy Moss with a 40 time of 4.25 seconds
6’5” 237 lb Calvin Johnson with a 40 time of 4.35 seconds
6’3” 220 lb Julio Jones with a 40 time of 4.39 seconds
6’7” 265 lb Jimmy Graham with a 40 time of 4.56 seconds

Julio’s the smallest one. I’m cackling.

@CanadianFlyer88 I wonder if the Canucks will still be finishing their season when the Cup is awarded.

No but really when do the Canucks stop playing

As far as the Jojo FC goes, even I could just huck a TD pass up to one of those monsters

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

My D Line will eat him a live.

 

[CanadianFlyer88]

Apologies for the delay, folks. Our final selection is our team uniform, which will be borrowed from the fictional football realm, but one familiar to our 1OA selection.

Team uniform: Miami Sharks

@Captain Dave Poulin, over to you.

 

[Lord Defect]

I got my electrical situation situated. Several problems on their end. What a cluster f.
Who do I have left to pick, and what the hell kind of position is pk?
Does team name and location count as it’s own pick?

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

@JojoTheWhale was so nearly right when he said that the 1990s Chargers uniforms were better than the powder blues ... and yet he was so utterly wrong. The 1990s Chargers had white pants, like hipster toolbags in the Hamptons prior to Labor Day (which is why Jojo likes them). The Chargers uniforms which were better than the powder blues were the 1980s version, specifically my team uniform and/or outfit. Note the Steeler cheating in this photo with facemasking.

Uniform - 1982 San Diego Chargers Whites

@Beef Invictus

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

I got my electrical situation situated. Several problems on their end. What a cluster f.
Who do I have left to pick, and what the hell kind of position is pk?
Does team name and location count as it’s own pick?

Place kicker, and it has to be current. You can give your name and location when you pick.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

I got my electrical situation situated. Several problems on their end. What a cluster f.
Who do I have left to pick, and what the hell kind of position is pk?
Does team name and location count as it’s own pick?

I don't know why you are asking about a f***ing PK when you need a Punter.

 

[Beef Invictus]

All the Meat has left empty is PK.

I greet this position with scorn. My team scores footballs, not kickballs. I draft

Kai Forbath (Noodle Legger)

Forbath is 12-19 on 50+ yd FG attempts. He's played for 9 or 10 seasons or whatever, and has had years with 0 50+ yard attempts. The reason for this is simple. This dude struggles over 45 yards, so sometimes coaches don't even bother. This is ideal. I don't want Coach Gibbs to be tempted to go for a long FG. Just get that first down, always and forever, until a TD happens.

@Captain Dave Poulin

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

We are going the other way, Meat, and anxiously awaiting who the pervert @Young Sandwich will choose at QB.

 

[Young Sandwich]

We are going the other way, Meat, and anxiously awaiting who the pervert @Young Sandwich will choose at QB.

You should know if you've been paying attention... Pick incoming.

 

[Young Sandwich]

Once I noticed everyone else had picked their QBs, I decided to save it for last since there was very little chance of getting sniped. I say very little, because there's always a chance someone doubles down on the dumb and picks a QB for D Flex or something. He is one of my favorite players to watch on my favorite team as a youngster.

Though I don't think I'd go this far, there are people out there who believe this man was the best quarterback to ever put on a helmet. How good was he though?

Joe Montana, whom most people regard as the greatest passer in National Football League history, calls him ''the greatest passer I've ever seen.'' Fran Tarkenton, whom many regard as the greatest running quarterback in NFL history, calls him ''the greatest running quarterback I've ever seen.'' Bill Walsh calls him ''the best, most accurate passer I've ever seen.'' That's some seriously high praise.

He was an extremely efficient passer – leading the league in passer rating a record six times, and completion percentage and yards per attempt five times. At the time of his retirement, he had the highest passer rating among NFL quarterbacks with at least 1,500 passing attempts (96.8). His 43 career rushing touchdowns are second among quarterbacks, while his 4,239 rushing yards ranks fourth all time.

He is a 3x Super Bowl Champion, a Super Bowl MVP, 2x NFL MVP, 3x first team All-Pro, 7x Pro Bowler, 4x TD leader, 6x Passer Rating leader, 5x Completion Percentage leader, and did all of this after he turned 30.

We're going to reunite him with the greatest NFL player of all time, Jerry Rice.

QB - Steve Young

@Chuck Downie

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Extreme pervert chooses extreme douche as quarterback. Checks out.

Speaking of douche perverts, I wonder if this site will ever function normally again.

 

[Young Sandwich]

Extreme pervert chooses extreme douche as quarterback. Checks out.

Speaking of douche perverts, I wonder if this site will ever function normally again.

You are a Cowboys fan. Douchiness is a prerequisite, and you fit the mold perfectly.

 

[Chuck Downie]

Last pick is team jersey colours

These are from the only American team to win the CFL's Grey Cup, the Baltimore No Names

PRO FOOTBALL; Baltimore No-Names Thriving in C.F.L. (Published 1994)

@Lord Defect

 

[DancingPanther]

Last pick is team jersey colours

These are from the only American team to win the CFL's Grey Cup, the Baltimore No Names

PRO FOOTBALL; Baltimore No-Names Thriving in C.F.L. (Published 1994)

@Lord Defect

Nice Cowboys jerseys

 

[Lord Defect]

Thomas Morstead, punter, he was #1 on the first result of nfl best current punters.
@Hollywood Couturier