You know what you should do, which would help both of us, is hire me as a kind of style consultant. You can pay me to actually write "The Great Big Book of What Does and Does Not Suck," and once I have written it and you have read it, we can go over it chapter by chapter. We will spend extra time on "Deadwood," because you need to understand how to appreciate that more than you do, and then we can move on to uniforms and other clothes. I will leave aside your interests in music, which are broader than mine, and your tastes in food, which are unfixable because Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis is sadly dead and she is the only one fancy enough to address them.