Mike Ribeiro relapses into alcoholism; NHL future in doubt

[IamNotADancer]

During the abuse I agree 100%, but sometimes I think about things like this (And it does hurt me unfortunately but my mind just has to do it sometimes...) and it's just what I've concluded.

But the point I truly want to make is because Ribeiro has the money and support and it's not him being a jerk when he's normal (Aka not drinking), I really hope he changes for the better for everyone's sake especially his children as I may not have been a victim of alcoholic and drug abuse parents but I can totally connect and understand kids who have been abused regardless.

I know getting rid of drug and alcohol addiction is super difficult and feels almost impossible to a lot of people, but I know there are ways to get rid of it and with Ribeiro's fortunate income and support he needs to help himself and be a better man. It's just much easier to change from an alcoholic and drug abuser than to change from a political or religious zealot, all my experiences and friends who were abused experiences point this way, even if both are very difficult.

You should have talked to my father while he was still alive before he died from alcohol related issues.

It's always easy to say things but in the end it comes down to the person and to universally say "x is easier to do than y" is not the proper way to approach something that is so dependent on several "human factors".

It's also easier to stop drinking soda and not become a diabetic, right? Yet diabetics still exist.

Some people simply don't have the will power but I won't blame them for being "weaker" than others.

Others find it easier to throw a ball with their right hand as opposed to throwing it with their left hand and vice versa. Bottom line is our brains are not wired the same and putting it off as a simple matter of "will power" or lack thereof is just not fair to those affected.

I'm not a better person because I don't drink nor take drugs.


As for those calling him a ******* etc. for the things he has done, good on you. I'm glad you are taking the moral high ground, let's hope others will be just as mindful when you do something you shouldn't have done.

 

[Rabid Ranger]

It's good that you're taking the moral high ground here.

What are people supposed to say about a guy like Ribeiro?

 

[Bjornar Moxnes]

You should have talked to my father while he was still alive before he died from alcohol related issues.

It's always easy to say things but in the end it comes down to the person and to universally say "x is easier to do than y" is not the proper way to approach something that is so dependent on several "human factors".

It's also easier to stop drinking soda and not become a diabetic, right? Yet diabetics still exist.

Some people simply don't have the will power but I won't blame them for being "weaker" than others.

Others find it easier to throw a ball with their right hand as opposed to throwing it with their left hand and vice versa. Bottom line is our brains are not wired the same and putting it off as a simple matter of "will power" or lack thereof is just not fair to those affected.

I'm not a better person because I don't drink nor take drugs.


As for those calling him a ******* etc. for the things he has done, good on you. I'm glad you are taking the moral high ground, let's hope others will be just as mindful when you do something you shouldn't have done.

Honestly I don't mind constructive criticism, I actually encourage people to be more direct with constructive criticism than cherry picking especially towards myself. The only absolute terms I'm talking about here is that generally speaking from my experience kids who get abused by their parents for political/religious/etc. reasons have far more difficulties adapting to life and their relationships with their parents almost never recover. I have some friends back in Canada who left home when they turned 16 and never again talked to their family because of the abuse they suffered from religious/political reasons. They've talked with school, police, and social services to try to get their parents to change their ways, but none of their parents changed and are still trapped in their own mindset. At the same time I have friends who were abused by alcoholic parents, but after getting a lot of social services to help their parents out a lot of those said friends parents did change for the better and now all live happy normal lives. As for the ones that the social services didn't help recover, they themselves feel very sorry for what their kids had to experience growing up, but made their kids realize that there's nothing they can do about changing their bad habits since it's been ingrained to them, which at least shows some humility.

 

[IamNotADancer]

Honestly I don't mind constructive criticism, I actually encourage people to be more direct with constructive criticism than cherry picking especially towards myself. The only absolute terms I'm talking about here is that generally speaking from my experience kids who get abused by their parents for political/religious/etc. reasons have far more difficulties adapting to life and their relationships with their parents almost never recover. I have some friends back in Canada who left home when they turned 16 and never again talked to their family because of the abuse they suffered from religious/political reasons. They've talked with school, police, and social services to try to get their parents to change their ways, but none of their parents changed and are still trapped in their own mindset. At the same time I have friends who were abused by alcoholic parents, but after getting a lot of social services to help their parents out a lot of those said friends parents did change for the better and now all live happy normal lives. As for the ones that the social services didn't help recover, they themselves feel very sorry for what their kids had to experience growing up, but made their kids realize that there's nothing they can do about changing their bad habits since it's been ingrained to them, which at least shows some humility.

As an Atheist I completely understand what you are saying when talking about family members who unable/unwilling to change their ways. But as I said, alcoholics are not that much different. It really comes down to the person.

I could just as well give you anecdotal evidence of hardcore religious zealots changing their ways and feel extreme repent (ironically).

I'm sure we could go back and forth but I don't think this is the place and thread to do so.
I just hope and wish you well if you were a victim yourself of any such abuse. My heart goes out to you and your friends who still suffer from it in one way or another.

 

[Bjornar Moxnes]

As an Atheist I completely understand what you are saying when talking about family members who unable/unwilling to change their ways. But as I said, alcoholics are not that much different. It really comes down to the person.

I could just as well give you anecdotal evidence of hardcore religious zealots changing their ways and feel extreme repent (ironically).

I'm sure we could go back and forth but I don't think this is the place and thread to do so.
I just hope and wish you well if you were a victim yourself of any such abuse. My heart goes out to you and your friends who still suffer from it in one way or another.

Well honestly I didn't want to make my comments seem like I'm talking about everyone, because just from news alone I know there are many religious zealots that change and become accepting and yes there are alcoholics who are far worse, but I only speak from my experience, because my family was the religious/political zealot and I have friends who experienced it as well as well as friends who experienced abuse from drug abuser/alcoholic parents. Thankfully my parents weren't alcoholic/drug abusers because that would have made matters much worse. But thinking about it, it also scares me to think what if they were both zealots and had substance abuse issues.

 

[Harvey Birdman]

As someone that has heavily flirted with that line of heavy alcohol abuse at multiple times in my life, I have empathy for Ribeiro, luckily I would never completely jump off the cliff but I understand how someone very easily could. I have been up to the edge of the void in that regard, its a scary yet inviting place when you look into it. When you go through those periods it puts complete tunnel vision on your life, nothing else maters. Not work, not friends, not family. Everything other than alcohol, is a means for alcohol. Or whatever activity you are perpetuating that involves alcohol.

I have lost job opportunities, destroyed friendships, damaged family relationships due to my past ways. Over many years I have salvaged a few things, but they will never be what they were. I can not excuse his actions towards his babysitter/nanny, what ever you want to call her, that's just inexcusable in a way I do not need to elaborate on.

Him being a father, and me being a father myself, I hope he pulls his head out of his ass. That's what finally got me to snap out of my "highly functional" drunk ways was my first kid being born. About to have my 3rd child here on the 15th of September. He needs to own up to his role of a father, even with myself that doesn't mean I never have a drink ever. You just have to learn to have a respect for alcohol and what it can do to you past just that of giving you a buzz. I like many others love to sit down with a beer or two and watch a hockey game or such. But knowing my past I have to respect every drink I pick up and have a high level of self control. Some people can never cultivate that or their addiction is so supremely bad they are incapable of that kind of self control. Its all or nothing. I am lucky in that regard I guess.

It sounds like Mike needs heavy and deep intervention and treatment... I will not excuse the actions he has done, inexcusable, but as a father like himself, I hope he finds a way out of whatever is driving him toward this so his kids can properly have a father.

 

[Nathaniel Skywalker]

Really bad problem to have especially when you have millions to buy it with.

 

[ColdSteel2]

Really bad problem to have especially when you have millions to buy it with.

Not this one. If it was certain drugs, sure. Alcohol, you can buy 3 or 4 half gallons for the week for like $30. So like $1500 for the year.

 

[Harvey Birdman]

Not this one. If it was certain drugs, sure. Alcohol, you can buy 3 or 4 half gallons for the week for like $30. So like $1500 for the year.

Not sure what you are drinking, but if you are talking liquor depending on what it is 750ml runs between 20-35 bucks alone. Hell even a 30 rack of cheap beer **** beer is 15-20.

 

[Nathaniel Skywalker]

Not this one. If it was certain drugs, sure. Alcohol, you can buy 3 or 4 half gallons for the week for like $30. So like $1500 for the year.

My point was it's not like he has to worry about being able to buy it. Which is usually what happens to alchoholics

 

[ColdSteel2]

Not sure what you are drinking, but if you are talking liquor depending on what it is 750ml runs between 20-35 bucks alone. Hell even a 30 rack of cheap beer **** beer is 15-20.

I don't drink much but I'm aware of the pricing. They have something for everyone. There's a reason you see homeless alcoholics. Pan handle for a day and you're good for the week.

 

[Mattilaus]

From a legal standpoint? Sure. From a factual standpoint? No. The results of a court case are irrelevant to the facts of what actually happened.



And I have 0 pity for him. I'm sorry for his kids, but that's about. Considering so many people that have met him and commented on him note that he is a terrible person, I assume he is guilty, and even if he isn't he is a piece of ****. I don't believe in karma, but this could be a good example of it.

Also, a lot of people in this thread have said that being as wealthy as he is doesn't help with alcoholism. That is absolutely false. Find three people of decent size. Tell them "I'll pay you $200,000 a year to keep me from drinking. If I drink while you're on the clock, you're fired. If I go a year without drinking while you're on the clock, you'll get a $100,000 bonus." Sign a release allowing them the pepper spray you if necessary.

I'd say alcoholism is more of a disorder than a disease, but I understand that's more an argument of semantics than anything else.

And then what happens when his addiction takes over and he pays them the full $300,000 to go away instead a couple of days later?

Addictions don't work like this, you rationalize it when you have the craving. Your brain is saying "okay well we are going to get sober so we will binge tonight since it will be the last time". Then you binge and while you are drunk you still have the intention of going sober the next day. Then you wake up and the next day and your brain goes "cutting alcohol all together can be dangerous due to the withdrawal symptoms, I will just have beer today instead of hard liquor and wean myself off it". Then the next day your brain goes "actually all this beer is bad because it is full of carbs and makes me feel bloated, I will switch to whiskey but keep my drinks small".

Before you know it you are right back to where you started. It's hard to grasp for someone who hasn't had an addiction but in your mind you are always only one step from getting sober (so it isn't a big deal and you can do it tomorrow) or you don't need to get sober because you don't have a problem.

 

[Hackett]

Not this one. If it was certain drugs, sure. Alcohol, you can buy 3 or 4 half gallons for the week for like $30. So like $1500 for the year.

His agent chose not to comment whether ribeiro is into the hard drugs. It's a possibility.

 

[Guido Sarducci]

The only thing we know for sure is that we don't know what is going on.

Anytime a topic like this comes up there is always a whole lot of "I have a _________ who struggles with ____________, so that makes me an expert on this situation."

Last time I checked, it is not illegal to just disappear.

 

[crowi]

My point was it's not like he has to worry about being able to buy it. Which is usually what happens to alchoholics

Not even true. Overall, really the fact some people here think forcing him to do something he apparently doesn't want to do helps him.

Leave him alone, he will find his own way.

 

[TheOriginalJez]

I'm just going to say it straight out, was anyone there at the time of alleged offences? No? Ok, Well why don't we ignore that for now then and rely on the justice system, which is there to decide on whether people are guilty of an offense, decide if he is and if they don't, well why do we know better? And if you think the 'results of a court case mean 0' then you have a HELL of a lot more to campaign about than a hockey player.

For my 2c, seeing how he did the last couple of seasons with this being a long running issue I can see a relapse being the kind of issue that got him sent down the leagues the way he was. I feel hurt as a Preds fan cos we needed him as a legit 2c all season and we've effectively lost 2 big C's with Fish retiring too, but as a high achieving alcoholic I also get it, you can turn it in for a few years without too much but it only takes one blind hit to knock you down. I, of course am not a million dollar earning athlete however. I can't afford therapists and rehabs and all that **** that he really should have gotten from the preds and his own relatively vast fortune. I have sympathy, I don't like people who don't understand alcoholism judging, but I also think he probably had the support to get through it. There might be more here than we know... but yeah.

 

[Hivemind]

What are people supposed to say about a guy like Ribeiro?

That they don't condone his past actions, but hope that he can treat his condition to avoid future suffering. You know what the wonderful thing about empathy is? It's not a finite resource. It's possible to realize that even foul human beings can suffer, and that wishing suffering upon someone doesn't somehow undo the actions of the past. And in cases like this, his suffering brings suffering to others (most notably his family).

 

[Sens of Anarchy]

Alcoholism is a battle. I hope he finds his way out of it.

 

[belair]

It has nothing to do with him being a former star athlete. It's not like the accusations aren't public either. This board has significantly discussed them too. Your middle class neighbour who is accused of sexual assault is similarly vilified by his community and sheltered by a legal team. Presuming accused guilty in sexual assault cases does nothing for victims of sexual assault, and instead makes new victims.

If you can't prove him guilty you should not attack him on the assumption that he is.

And to others, no, just because he was an unlikeable player for opposing teams and his fans and has a history of addiction does not make him guilty. Similarly, it doesn't matter if your personal opinion is that addiction isn't a disease, legally and medically speaking it is. People saying Ribeiro deserves his fate on account of him being a dick on the ice and because of one persons accusation are making a mockery of empathy and justice.

Ribeiro's family and the babysitter settled confidentially. That is what money can buy you. You, me or my neighbour next door would lose our jobs, have personal relationships and essentially our whole lives destroyed through the thing he managed to avoid.

 

[Acallabeth]

Ribeiro's family and the babysitter settled confidentially. That is what money can buy you. You, me or my neighbour next door would lose our jobs, have personal relationships and essentially our whole lives destroyed through the thing he managed to avoid.

If the babysitter was fine with that, what's the problem? Do you hate the person so much you would rather see his life destroyed?

 

[aufheben]

Not sure what you are drinking, but if you are talking liquor depending on what it is 750ml runs between 20-35 bucks alone. Hell even a 30 rack of cheap beer **** beer is 15-20.

In Canada? Vodka is practically free most places I've been, which is kind of gross to think about lol. Ok not free obviously but more/less the same cost as water. :/

 

[belair]

If the babysitter was fine with that, what's the problem? Do you hate the person so much you would rather see his life destroyed?

If Ribeiro was fine with handing her money obviously it was because he'd done something where he was in the wrong.

And honestly if you'd be more willing to read into some sexual assault cases, you'd probably realize a lot of the victims would do anything to not have to re-live the situation.

But let's give Mike the benefit of the doubt: he's a piece of human garbage until he's proven not. K?

 

[Binary Code]

In Canada? Vodka is practically free most places I've been, which is kind of gross to think about lol. Ok not free obviously but more/less the same cost as water. :/

?????

Please tell me where lol

Vodka is cheaper than other liquor but by a dollar, even less. Cheapest one I know is either Troika or Russian Prince and they run around 20$. (and mind you those are baaaad vodkas legit taste like rubbing alcohol.) Cheapest rum is Bacardi at 21-22$. (26oz prices)

----

Back on subject, I hope Ribeiro will get better. He's probably a piece of ****, a womanizer, a misogyn but he's also a sick man. All the blame is on him for what he did/does and what he became but you got to feel for him his problem is clearly bigger than what we can even imagine.

 

[Classicnamesup]

?????

Please tell me where lol

Vodka is cheaper than other liquor but by a dollar, even less. Cheapest one I know is either Troika or Russian Prince and they run around 20$. (and mind you those are baaaad vodkas legit taste like rubbing alcohol.) Cheapest rum is Bacardi at 21-22$. (26oz prices)

----

Back on subject, I hope Ribeiro will get better. He's probably a piece of ****, a womanizer, a misogyn but he's also a sick man. All the blame is on him for what he did/does and what he became but you got to feel for him his problem is clearly bigger than what we can even imagine.

Wouldn't be surprised if a number of people here have heard stories about him personally. I know I have.

Had a solid career while it lasted, hopefully he saved enough

 

[Binary Code]

Wouldn't be surprised if a number of people here have heard stories about him personally. I know I have.

Had a solid career while it lasted, hopefully he saved enough

Yeah, I live in Montreal. I heard stuff but can you really rely on hearsay? People like to talkpoopoo and love the drama surrounding it. Hockey players are like pop stars in big market. Now, I don't defend him but if you're not him/his wife/nanny/agent/best friend since birth you can't pretend like you know the guy or what's going on.