Seriously, Ron Hextall is probably in Edmonton, Alberta on vacation at his log cabin, which he's been at since the Flyers let him go a few months back. After a couple days out in the wilderness fishing, hunting, skinny dipping, basically just enjoying his free time before he decides his future.
When he arrived back at his cabin, he started to feel woozy, so he goes into his kitchen area, reaches into his fridge, grabs an icy cold Killian's Irish Red, cracks it open, takes a swig and instantly feels like Wesley Snipes from Blade.
He then precedes to pull out his favorite Voila microwave dinner, puts it on a plate and while he waits for it to heat up, he goes into his personal Hockey Library full of Flyers, Kings and Nordiques gear from his playing and GM days, sits on his rocking chair and turns on the NHL Network where he immediately hears the great Brian Lawton explain the recent moves current Flyers GM Chuck Fletcher has made since the off-season began.
One by one: Brain Lawton Reads.
1. Flyers trade a 2019 5th round draft pick to Winnipeg Jets for upcoming Free Agent Kevin Hayes. Hextall in his Austin Powers voice starts laughing uncontrollably knocking over his signed autograph bobblehead figurine of Paul Holmgren.
2. Then he hears. Flyers trade Radko Gudas to rival Washington Capitals for Matt Niskanen while also retaining some of Radko's salary. Hextall starts to shake his head when he realized how stupid this move truly was. Taking on an aging veteran who had bad Corsi numbers for the last two years. Where as, Gudas was our best defensemen.
3. After shaking his head for a few minutes, Hextall then hears. Flyers trade an 2019 2nd round pick & 2020 3rd pick for San Jose Sharks, Justin Braun. Hextall in shock starts to clap and is happy about the move, but common rational sense kicked in when he remembers this isn't 2015 when he was a rockstar on the back end instead it's 2019 where he became the worst Sharks defensemen. In a fit of rage, Hextall turns around gets up and punches a hole in the wall and tears his signed Bobby Clarke poster that's been sacred to him since he was 21 year-old rookie.
4. But, then, Brian Lawton announces breaking news, the Flyers have just signed Free Agent Kevin Hayes to a 7 x 7.14 million dollar contract with a NMC. Hextall gets up, swigs his last drop of Killian's, goes into the kitchen, grabs his Voila dinner from the microwave which had been beeping for a while, and throws it outside hitting a massive sized bear. Ron thought, I'm screwed, but the bear smiled back and says "at least you're not f'd like the Flyers fans are with Chuck Fletcher as their GM," Ron smiles, goes back inside the cabin and sleeps like a baby panda hoping that the Flyers draft will be much better than the rest of the off-season thus far because he loves the Organization and our fans.