Colaiacovo: Left on the dance floor and every single other girl was already taken. Holland went out and got the least attractive woman on the dance floor instead of dancing alone. But it turns out she was hideous inside and out.
Actually, when Colaiacovo was finally healthy he wasn't really that bad when he got put on the 3rd pairing in the playoffs.
They pulled the plug on him because they needed to make room to get some forwards on the UFA market, couldn't compliance buyout Samuelsson because of his injury and because Holland thought the future was bright on D with DeKeyser, Smith, Kindl and Lashoff all finding a place on the NHL roster
How come no one ever mentions Jonas Glasstavsson's over payment? Red Wings already had a perfectly capable backup signed for like $650k, albeit hurt for the start of next season. Glasstavsson had health issues and was nothing special at all in Toronto, but gets signed to be an expensive (at the time) backup goalie for two years.
In year one, he's a complete non factor, constantly injured and can't get it going when healthy. Then in year two, he's good a little over the first 2 months of the year, then he's on and off IR the rest of the year and garbage when he isn't, before playing well in two whole playoff games. Healthier and more consistent backup goalies were to be available on the UFA market for around $1M. But nope Holland, likely meeting the goalie in the trainers room at the Joe, hands him a one year extension for closer to $2M.
Surprising absolutely no one, poor Jonas spends most of that 3rd year collecting his paychecks from IR, which allows Petr Mrazek to come in and fool the Red Wings and their fans into thinking he's the goalie of the future.
Then, when Gustavsson should've been well on his way back to Sweden, he gets a one year contract to be the backup in Boston, where in the last game of the season he shits the bed against a Senators team that isn't even in the playoffs. This causes the Bruins to miss the playoffs and the Red Wings hold onto the last WC spot, extending the dumb playoff streak for a year, which causes Holland to panic sign Frans Nielsen and Darren Helm to keep it going and alleviate the loss of Datsyuk and delays an impending rebuild by at least another year.
THANKS A LOT, JONAS.
I'm starting to think Joey MacDonald has some gypsy aunt that put a curse on the Red Wings goaltending after Holland reneged on his promise to make Joey the full time backup for 12-13. After that slight:
-His "replacement" Gustavsson is an absolute disaster
-Howard starts his new long and expensive contract 6-9-7 and .906 for the rest of calendar year 2013
-Mrazek looks like he's going to be this stud future goalie and then BOMBS
-Howard looks like he's rebounding big in 16-17, then Jensen falls on him in his NHL debut and Howard misses 3 months while Mrazek continues to shit the bed
-Jonathan Bernier gets badly overpaid and overtermed enough for fans to think he'll make Howard expendable, but LOL NOPE
-Filip Larsson's already had a major groin injury
His smile while working his job as a personal trainer in Germany says it all: