It takes more than a ludicrous game of football to top me, my good chap. But it's proof positive that things come in threes.
I came to London on a six month contract. Last Monday, I learned that the contract was to be extended. When I texted Mr Exile to report the good news, he replied that he was in town for work. Cue much rejoicing.
On Wednesday, the company's chief executive announced the results of a six-month project to determine the company's future direction. The upshot: in 2016 my department relocates to Haydock (between Liverpool and Manchester). Cue everyone agreeing they'll be looking for new jobs next year.
On Thursday, the team was forced to sit through an egregious performance by one of the suits. Tasked to provide a coherent explanation for what was occurring, he spewed out the word 'empowerment', then talked several tons of drivel, interspersed with regular use of the word 'agility'.
Then news of the TalkTalk data protection meltdown broke. TalkTalk has my bank details.
In comparison, then, Sunday was nowt. Its annoying that for 44 minutes Newcastle utterly humiliated sunderland, but carelessly forgot to score. More annoying still that even with a man advantage, sunderland looked woefully uneasy (and if I'm accused of bias, I'll direct you to Niall Quinn's comments).
Irritating, too, was hearing Quinn and the commentator piously intone about Newcastle's disciplinary problems. sunderland would have had one too yesterday, had the rules been properly applied to Lee Cattermole.
Still, football is ultimately about scoring goals. The red card and penalty changed the game, but the decisive moment was Pantilimon's save from Mitrovic. Had that gone in, I'm not sure how the mackems would have coped.
Its absurd that twice now Sam Allardyce has picked the wrong team for a derby, watched his side's goal come under siege for a significant proportion of the game, and not lost either time. His players won in spite of him. McClaren did little wrong, I felt. A lack of composure near the enemy goal was his team's undoing, along with a little overexcitedness pushing forward to score the goal they needed.
The real villain of the piece is, naturally, Ashley. The penalty came out of Coloccini lacking pace and Rob Elliot not being an EPL keeper. Yet the former has had his contract extended
twice since he reached the point where his vulnerability on the turn became a ruinous drawback. And the latter was given a new contract just this week, as a reward for most recently doing nothing wrong against Norwich, but doing nothing right either. And Tiote's yellow was as inevitable as it was stupid. He's another who shouldn't be at the club any more, but has hung around because replacing him would be too dear for Ashley's taste.
Last week I wrote about four players carrying seven. The team played better as a whole on Sunday, but still the spine has been wilfully neglected, and a broken-backed team has been the result.