OT: 75th Obsequious Banter Thread: Pour Yourself A Kool-Aid As Tall As Hal Gill

[Beef Invictus]

 

[JojoTheWhale]

I have found in canon proof that the liquid is indeed at least part of Kool-Aid Man.

 

[DancingPanther]

Great post

 

[DancingPanther]

I have found in canon proof that the liquid is indeed at least part of Kool-Aid Man.

So is that uncomfortable for him? When our blood bubbles we call it "the bends" and we can die from that

 

[Beef Invictus]

How does he deal with contamination? He's got an open top. He must have some sort of response system that deals with foreign bodies and bacteria. He must have a means of processing old fluids before they ferment. There must be internal organs hidden in the center of the opaque liquid.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

So is that uncomfortable for him? When our blood bubbles we call it "the bends" and we can die from that

That did not sound like he was uncomfortable. He appeared to be enjoying it.

I think what happened here is that everyone was right in some way. The Kool-Aid Man is made up of both components in some form and he is also an exhibitionist juice pervert. That may not be what I'm supposed to take from the commercial, but here we are.

 

[DancingPanther]

How does he deal with contamination? He's got an open top. He must have some sort of response system that deals with foreign bodies and bacteria. He must have a means of processing old fluids before they ferment. There must be internal organs hidden in the center of the opaque liquid.

That's what I'm saying dude! There's no lid or anything. He has to keep it "fresh" somehow. Does he have a primitive liver?

 

[Striiker]

Crystalloid fluid: electrolytes or simple sugars/compounds dissolved, in solution, into a fluid base. Example: saline (or dissolved Kool aid powder in water)

Colloid fluid: mixture of fluid and non-soluble large molecules in suspension. Example: blood

Yeah, I knew that I was just testing you.

You passed.

I already knew that.

Just checking if you did.

Good job.

 

[DancingPanther]

That did not sound like he was uncomfortable. He appeared to be enjoying it.

I think what happened here is that everyone was right in some way. The Kool-Aid Man is made up of both components in some form and he is also an exhibitionist juice pervert. That may not be what I'm supposed to take from the commercial, but here we are.

He did smile and say "oh yeah".

I'm hoping no one takes anything more from that reaction.

 

[DancingPanther]

Yeah, I knew that I was just testing you.

You passed.

I already knew that.

Just checking if you did.

Good job.

Thanks dad.

 

[Beef Invictus]

That did not sound like he was uncomfortable. He appeared to be enjoying it.

I think what happened here is that everyone was right in some way. The Kool-Aid Man is made up of both components in some form and he is also an exhibitionist juice pervert. That may not be what I'm supposed to take from the commercial, but here we are.

He wears clothes now. He didn't used to. Either he developed a sentient notion of shameful nakedness or he was ordered to get dressed by a court.


Edit: except sometimes he doesn't wear clothes. So...he has them. He knows they are needed for decency. He forgoes them anyhow. Why?

 

[Beef Invictus]

That's what I'm saying dude! There's no lid or anything. He has to keep it "fresh" somehow. Does he have a primitive liver?

He'd need a rudimentary liver and spleen at minimum. But also, presuming he is self-sustaining, some hunk of marrow-like substance for fluid production.

In turn this suggests he needs to eat. These organs need energy.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

He wears clothes now. He didn't used to. Either he developed a sentient notion of shameful nakedness or he was ordered to get dressed by a court.


Edit: except sometimes he doesn't wear clothes. So...he has them. He knows they are needed for decency. He forgoes them anyhow. Why?

Because he's an exhibitionist.

He could have tinted the damn pitcher if he had any interest in covering up. He could get a lid. He doesn't. He wants you to see that Kool-Aid swirling around.

 

[Starat327]

You're assuming he's some sort of silicate based glass.

True - but even with the admission of not knowing the physics and all the variables, I dont think theres too many glass pitchers of any sort that you can expect to throw against a full brick wall and be ok on the other side. Maybe he's plastic, but if thats the case, he DEFINITELY doesnt have the mass-energy equivalence to bust through a brick wall, so the point stands.

He'd have to be some sort of super-glass-hybrid for this to be the case, and if that is indeed the case, I'm willing to concede the Kool Aid Pitcher is the driver here. Otherwise, it's gotta be both.

 

[Beef Invictus]

True - but even with the admission of not knowing the physics and all the variables, I dont think theres too many glass pitchers of any sort that you can expect to throw against a full brick wall and be ok on the other side. Maybe he's plastic, but if thats the case, he DEFINITELY doesnt have the mass-energy equivalence to bust through a brick wall, so the point stands.

He'd have to be some sort of super-glass-hybrid for this to be the case, and if that is indeed the case, I'm willing to concede the Kool Aid Pitcher is the driver here. Otherwise, it's gotta be both.

Perhaps that red liquid is actually a metal.

Perhaps the fabled "red mercury" of USSR fame has finally been found.

 

[DancingPanther]

He'd need a rudimentary liver and spleen at minimum. But also, presuming he is self-sustaining, some hunk of marrow-like substance for fluid production.

In turn this suggests he needs to eat. These organs need energy.

The powder, I'm sure, can be metabolized. It's simple sugar; the least complicated source of energy

 

[Starat327]

Perhaps that red liquid is actually a metal.

Perhaps the fabled "red mercury" of USSR fame has finally been found.

Then explain the kids drinking it in the commercials, they'd drop immediately, no?

 

[Beef Invictus]

Then explain the kids drinking it in the commercials, they'd drop immediately, no?

No. Mercury poisoning is insidious. It'll sink into their bones first, then eventually destroy their minds as the bones degrade.


Edit: Mercury vapor is the real danger.

 

[Starat327]

No. Mercury poisoning is insidious. It'll sink into their bones first, then eventually destroy their minds as the bones degrade.

Now youre telling me the Kool Aid man is a commie assassin. And he has ice in him...

The Kool Aid man is the real Winter Soldier.

 

[DancingPanther]

We've done it boys. We've cracked the code.

 

[Beef Invictus]

Now youre telling me the Kool Aid man is a commie assassin. And he has ice in him...

The Kool Aid man is the real Winter Soldier.

If you breathe in his gasses in his presence, you die a slow death. If you drink the juice he makes from his dried fluids, you get diabetes.

Truly the thing is a Soviet agent sent to stupefy the West's youth.

 

[Starat327]

If you breathe in his gasses in his presence, you die a slow death. If you drink the juice he makes from his dried fluids, you get diabetes.

Truly the thing is a Soviet agent sent to stupefy the West's youth.

The russians were definitely playing long ball here. Kill us, or take us out by making itharder for our bodies to process basic energy sources.

Getting to the mooon was a giant ruse.

 

[Amorgus]

Reminds me of one of the three prompts I had to write for my philosophy exam in high school. What is man?

And this Kool-Aid Man discussion may be one of the greatest things I've ever read on this site. I doubt other team's boards get to enjoy such wonderful prose.

 

[Chinatown88]

Thanks dad.

You do realize this is canon to the board now. You are @Striiker 's child and thus are @Starat327 's grandchild.

 

[Starat327]

You do realize this is canon to the board now. You are @Striiker 's child and thus are @Starat327 's grandchild.

Wait what? I havent even told @Striiker about the birds and bees yet..