Why don't people like Jeff Patterson?

[LeftCoast]

Someone should make a Jeff Patterson babelfish.

Original quote: "The Canucks have been very inconsistent this season, so we don't know what to expect Wednesday against the Flames."

Patterson Babelfish: "Look, I think we can all AGREE that... The Canucks, so far to this very point in the two-thousand-and-TEN and two-thousand-and-ELEVEN ice hockey season -- they've been the type of team that plays well one night, then the NEXT night they don't play well, then they have a few days off and they come back and they play well, or they don't. I think it's fair to say at this point we have a team that doesn't ALWAYS put forth a consistent effort and thus doesn't always get consistent results. There's no disputing THAT. And given that, there's no guarantee on this Wednesday the first of December in the year two thousand TEN of our Lord and SAVIOUR, just a scant twenty-four days before Christmas -- can you BELIEVE it! -- that the Canucks will win this hockey game, or lose it, only that they will play it. We'll have time for half of one caller coming up after these four commercial breaks I just spoke through. After these breaks I will RECOUNT what I just said using slightly different words. We'll be... RIGHT back."

You have to get the cadence right.

It's almost like someone told him to avoid speaking in a monotone you have to vary your meter, pitch and volume, so he does so in a random and unnatural sounding way.

 

[y2kcanucks]

He does have that voice, i don't know if its natural.
some find it annoying.

the guy does offer some insight into the Canucks other voices on the TEAM don't seem to do. (like his number crunching that he likes to do)

he seems to be alright with the other sports too.

by no means am i in his fan club. but people do have the hate on him.

I dislike listening to him on the radio because he's an idiot.

 

[Robongo01]

Actually, he is probably one of the better interviewers the Team has had in years. Certainly better than Kenward.

Anyone's better than Kenward, so that's not saying much. To each their own I guess, but I constantly hear him ask some pretty cringeworthy questions

 

[Zanon]

Because he pauses for 3 seconds after each word?

one time i turned on 1040 and there was no sound and i thought my radio was broken but it was just jeff pausing for 5 seconds

 

[orcatown]

Using hockey parlance he is a 4th line plug. Willing but rarely good.