flyfysher
Registered User
- Mar 21, 2012
- 6,555
- 5,191
A relationship is not a used car that's easy to walk away from when it breaks down. You live together, you're in a bedroom you both share. Where are you suppose to go when **** pops off and gets crazy?
You also do not really think about it getting to that level when it's happening. The other person snaps and takes it there very quickly.
I've been in a similar situation (assuming Abrams wife's version of the story is the truth)
I'm not saying that a relationship is like a used car. All relationships are imperfect. Some far worse than others.
Believe me, having worked in domestic relations, been asked for legal advice where a co-worker's girlfriend was being smacked around by her boyfriend, being called to a jury pool on a domestic violence case against a woman, worked for the correctional system as well as having a friend that told me about an argument with her husband that escalated into throwing a vase (they're really tough on that in Boulder County regardless of whether you assaulted your partner), you can either walk or wait for the cops to take you away and tell it to the judge later what your version of what occurred is. At the very least, one or both of you will end up taking anger management classes for hundreds of dollars (aside from any incarceration and loss of income in the meantime) and notwithstanding any legal fees that you might incur. You could also jeopardize custody of your kids. Worse, you might physically harm your partner or vice-versa. And if you've ever talked to people about these kinds of incidents, sometimes the emotional harm/scars can be even worse.
So what's your option if you want to stay together? One incident is one too many times. I'd offer her the option to go to counseling together and take anger management classes so you can learn to constructively deal with each other. And if not, you know where your relationship is headed. I've heard the reasons why women (and men) stay in relationships, loss of financial support, nowhere to go, lack of self-esteem, emotional ties, co-dependent relationships, for the kids' sake (and that's no way to raise a kid), etc.
Here's the bottom line. Staying in a relationship like that is a losing situation without taking positive steps to satisfactorily address the situation. In your case I'd ask if you were still with her. I'm not really looking for a response but I suspect the answer would prove my point.