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Useless Thread MDCCXXXVII: The Final Chapter

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Ceremony

Ceremony

blahem
Jun 8, 2012
113,326
15,739
Darren Peng said:
@Ceremony Does that thread you did about the Mighty Ducks still exist in the Entertainment section?
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The search is now complete arse so I've no idea, but if you would like to relive that magic, you're in luck:

If there is one thing that my time on the internet has taught me, it is that hockey fans are anal. Whether it's people complaining about misspelling of player/team names, wanting their team to have even handedness of players in defence and attack, an attention to detail and constant need for everything in order seems to permeate every hockey fan's thinking at some point or another, even if it's just in little cases.

With this in mind, The Mighty Ducks is seemingly never off the TV here, and in watching it today I decided to keep a close eye on the players to see their positions. I took note of the roster, every game the team played and every line that was on the ice, where possible. In some cases shots went too quickly to properly see, or they weren't accurate (I definitely saw Germaine passing the puck to someone while the announcer said Averman during the championship game), but for the most part, they're accurate.

It should also be said that I've never played hockey and I'm not even entirely sure what age group pee wee is, or whether or not the level of position switching (spoiler!) is common. So, with all of this in mind, the roster:

#00 Guy Germaine (O)
#1 Terry Hall (O)
#2 Tommy Duncan
#5 Tammy Duncan
#9 Jesse Hall (O)
#11 Dave Karp (O)
#18 Connie Moreau (O)
#24 Peter Mark (O)
#33 Greg Goldberg (O)
#44 Fulton Reed
#96 Charlie Conway (O)
#99 Adam Banks

Those marked with (O) are original Ducks, from the days when they were D5. The first player added is Fulton Reed who is brought in for the third game of the movie. Tammy and Tommy Duncan are recruited before this game as well, but neither player makes an appearance in a game until the championship game. Adam Banks comes in for the last regular season game, where the Ducks win and seal their place in the playoffs.

Bombay's first game as coach against the Hawks sees the introduction of the team's best line overall, the Oreo Line. This has Terry and Jesse Hall at LW and RW, with Guy Germaine at C. Through the rest of the game the only other player to take a faceoff is Connie Moreau. Defence sees the biggest turnover of players, with Conway, Mark, Averman, Karp and Moreau taking shifts on the backend.

In the second game vs. the Jets, the one where they cheat, there are less shots. The Oreo Line again sees time, while Conway, Averman and Moreau are shown on defence.

In the third game vs. the Cardinals, which is Reed's first game and the first game as the Ducks, it's much the same again. The Oreo Line exists, and in the final seconds for Germaine's tying goal (from the faked Reed slapshot to make the other team hide), Reed actually lines up as the right wing in this case. On defence for this game are Moreau, Averman and Karp. Tommy Duncan is also seen on the ice briefly in this game, during the same shift as Karp and Averman - yet Tommy is in a defensive position, while Karp and Averman are definite defensemen - neither play forward at any time.

In the fourth game where the Ducks seal their playoff spot (there's no team name given here), Banks makes his debut. This splits up the Oreo Line, as he centres Jesse Hall and Germaine. On defence are Moreau and Conway. For the winning goal the Ducks pull the goalie putting Reed on as the extra attacker. On the play for this goal Jesse Hall, Averman, Mark, Moreau and Conway are out - the forwards in this case were presumably Conway - Moreau - J. Hall. Moreau switches position throughout the film while Hall is always a winger. Averman and Mark are both consistent defencemen, and while Conway played D only until this point, during the playoffs he begins playing LW, as we'll see shortly.

First game of the playoffs is against the Hornets, and there's not much shown. Banks plays C with J. Hall as his winger again - presumably with Guy Germaine as well. The only D pair shown is Moreau/Conway.

Second game of the playoffs is against the Cardinals again, and here we see Conway shift up to playing forward. He sees ice time on the LW with Banks at C and Germaine at RW - what happened to Jesse Hall, I don't know. Indeed, why Germaine got shifted to make room for Banks at C is beyond me, considering Germaine is the best face-off guy on the team. The only D shown in this game is Averman.

The championship game vs. the Hawks sees probably the most on ice action since the first game against the same team, and everyone sees ice time here bar Karp, who presumably faced a long lay-off after a puck hit him in the head. He did line up for the Ducks during the national anthem though, but he doesn't see any ice time. The lines seem a bit more fluid for this game. Conway/Banks/J. Hall becomes a line, with Germaine going to D with Averman as the top pairing (presumably). Germaine is shown at C again though, without Banks on the ice. Both Halls go back to the wings again - the Oreo Line is reunited, which I'll cover in a minute. On D, Averman, Mark, Reed, Moreau and Germaine are put out at various points. By this game it seems Conway's shift to LW is permanent.

The goals are scored by Banks, Reed, Tammy Duncan, Germaine and Conway.

- The Banks goal comes on a breakaway that's all him.

- The Reed slapshot is a point shot, him by this point now playing D instead of RW.

- The goal with both Duncans on the ice, I have no idea. One of them plays D, I'll presume it's Tommy since Tammy is the one who scores after doing spins while right next to the goal. Averman is also on the ice at this point, being the other defenceman.

- The Flying V goal is led by the Oreo Line. Moreau is on the back end with Averman

- Conway's breakaway that leads to a penalty shot is notable for having Moreau joining her boyfriend in being one of two players to play three positions. She plays LW on a line with Germaine and Conway, and feeds Conway for his breakaway.



So, the roster again with the assorted positions they play:

#00 Guy Germaine (C, RW, D)
#1 Terry Hall (RW)
#2 Tommy Duncan (D)
#4 Dave Averman (D)
#5 Tammy Duncan (F)
#9 Jesse Hall (LW)
#11 Dave Karp (D)
#18 Connie Moreau (C, D, LW)
#24 Peter Mark (D)
#33 Greg Goldberg (G)
#44 Fulton Reed (RW, D)
#96 Charlie Conway (D, LW)
#99 Adam Banks ( C )

Moreau and Germaine are the obvious utility players on the team. Reed plays two positions but he's more of a luxury than anything else with his shot. Conway makes the shift to forward once Daddy 2.0 comes along to believe in him. On the whole then we have:

3 centres (Banks, Germaine, Moreau)
3 left wingers (J. Hall, Conway, Moreau)
3 right wingers (T. Hall, Germaine, Reed)
8 defencemen ( Averman, Karp, Moreau, Mark, Reed, Tommy Duncan, Conway, Germaine)

(I listed them roughly in order of regularity/effectiveness- why Karp, Mark and Tommy Duncan play D when they're all about 4 feet tall is beyond me)

Three players, Tammy & Tommy Duncan and Reed, are essentially useless – none of them are able to do anything aside from individual displays of extraordinary skill that makes the other team look the other way while they score. The core of the team is the original Ducks plus Banks.

So, what does all this tell us? It tells us that Guy Germaine was the best player on the team. Moreau was the best all rounder. Banks was easily the most skilled player, driving the team into and through the playoffs and starting the comeback in the final. Conway is by no means the clutch guy he's thought of, and shouldn't have been made captain. Jesse Hall is essentially Jarome Iginla. Averman and Moreau is the most common D pairing, although Averman seems to get played a lot more than the other defencemen. Presumably because they're all midgets (and Mark is at fault for the Hawks 4th goal in the final, he tries skating out of his own zone with it which leads to a 3 on 0).
 
SoupyFIN

SoupyFIN

#OneTerritory
Nov 7, 2011
41,382
3,380
Deficient Mode said:
No
Click to expand...
img.f9cd95e53443f524.jpg
 
TJ Hooker

TJ Hooker

Registered User
May 25, 2017
1,145
704
Also, vegans are the best thing imaginable for the planet and its beings.

So get f***ed, nerd kid.
 
TJ Hooker

TJ Hooker

Registered User
May 25, 2017
1,145
704
Just bought a new blender. Going to get some coconut butter and make some bulletproof coffee tomorrow.

Also, going to make some hummus this weekend. And maybe some avocado pudding.

Delicious.
 
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TJ Hooker

TJ Hooker

Registered User
May 25, 2017
1,145
704
Why are these people all so f***ing weird?

Louis CK masturbating in front of women. Harvey Weinstein wanting them to watch him shower.

Such weird fetishes. And for not very much money, you could pay women to do that. Obviously it's more about the power than the actual act, though.
 
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