Useless Thread MDCCLXVII: The party never stops

[John Price]

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

Shit, I might order some Chinese food now

 

[Sega Dreamcast]

Was in Florida for my cousin's wedding.

Arrived a few days early, so we went to a Chinese buffet for lunch one day.

They had this peanut crusted chicken and it was so incredible

 

[John Price]

Shit, I might order some Chinese food now

they're all closed here other than panda. sucks.

 

[John Price]

Was in Florida for my cousin's wedding.

Arrived a few days early, so we went to a Chinese buffet for lunch one day.

They had this peanut crusted chicken and it was so incredible

That actually sounds pretty good. The ones here aren't that creative.

 

[John Price]

I mean Panda has teriyaki chicken but still.

 

[John Price]

Can't remember which part of NC has the vinegar and the ketchup barbecue sauces but I don't think ketchup belongs anywhere near bbq. Just an opinion.

 

[Tarantula]

I'm surprised @Roman Fell doesn't have a pantry filled with spam

 

[John Price]

first time someone has referenced Monty Python in a UT

 

[John Price]

You all are the worst type of racists! Money racists!

 

[Miguel Cairo]

people have credit cards

How do you pay your credit card bill?

 

[Miguel Cairo]

Trump and Pence dying of coronavirus would be hilarious.

Note to mods: this is not a political post it’s just a post acknowledging that a funny thing would be funny.

 

[John Price]

Trump and Pence dying of coronavirus would be hilarious.

Note to mods: this is not a political post it’s just a post acknowledging that a funny thing would be funny.

As a baseball employee what are your thoughts on Keith Law?

 

[Miguel Cairo]

As a baseball employee what are your thoughts on Keith Law?

I think a lot of people have declared him wrong this week because they want him to be wrong.

 

[Miguel Cairo]

Plouffe: baseball will open you spring training in a month and play opening day July 1.
Law: there is no proposed date.
Other reporter: MLB is preparing a report to send to the MLBPA regarding playing.
80% of baseball internet: haha, Keith Law is wrong.

Like that reaction makes no sense.

 

[John Price]

I think a lot of people have declared him wrong this week because they want him to be wrong.

To be honest the internet has a grudge fest against nearly every baseball journalist (either them acting indignant over not being allowed to do their job in clubhouses) or accusing their opinions of being shills for agents (i.e. Heyman and Boras). Rosenthal is pretty much the only one not critiqued, but everyone from Law to Sheehan to Heyman are all vilified by the internet.

Sheehan often goes off topic and doesn't strictly talk baseball. When he goes into politics he's gonna get shit from opposing sides. So he's at least drawing himself into the convo.

 

[John Price]

Plouffe: baseball will open you spring training in a month and play opening day July 1.
Law: there is no proposed date.
Other reporter: MLB is preparing a report to send to the MLBPA regarding playing.
80% of baseball internet: haha, Keith Law is wrong.

Like that reaction makes no sense.

afaik only cleveland proposed the july 1st date

so law was right

 

[Miguel Cairo]

To be honest the internet has a grudge fest against nearly every baseball journalist (either them acting indignant over not being allowed to do their job in clubhouses) or accusing their opinions of being shills for agents (i.e. Heyman and Boras). Rosenthal is pretty much the only one not critiqued, but everyone from Law to Sheehan to Heyman are all vilified by the internet.

Sheehan often goes off topic and doesn't strictly talk baseball. When he goes into politics he's gonna get shit from opposing sides. So he's at least drawing himself into the convo.

Heyman is a shill for Boras, many of the former Boras clients I played with confirmed it.

 

[Miguel Cairo]

Heyman used to come into the clubhouse and A-Rod would make him get on all fours in front of his locker so he could use him as a footrest. Heyman’s contract with Boras said he had to do that for any Boras client.

 

[Kairi Zaide]

why can't we get Jeon Somi's comeback now >

 

[John Price]

Heyman used to come into the clubhouse and A-Rod would make him get on all fours in front of his locker so he could use him as a footrest. Heyman’s contract with Boras said he had to do that for any Boras client.

Don't you ball players want to be paid and take advantage of the market? By signing with Boras wouldn't this enable a baseball player to fulfill his greatest market value?

BORAS BAD MAN

his clients get paid boss

 

[Miguel Cairo]

Don't you ball players want to be paid and take advantage of the market? By signing with Boras wouldn't this enable a baseball player to fulfill his greatest market value?

BORAS BAD MAN

his clients get paid boss

I think Boras has improved baseball, but it was unethical of him to make Heyman show up in the clubhouse once a week so we could throw peanuts at him and make him dance. Also Jon never should have had to donate that kidney to Brien Taylor’s cousin, but he just couldn’t say no to Scott.

 

[Ceremony]

Page 76

The kitchen smelled of stale beer and cockroaches, though our hero was numb to this odor and he ignored it. However, ixcuincle could not ignore his overpowering hunger. Ironically, his hunger was consuming him. "I must eat now" he said. He first wanted to order Americanized Chinese takeout, but had already eaten from his favorite restaurant earlier that day. He glanced around the room, puzzled. His eyes lit up when he saw a strategically placed camera and tripod. He knew what he must do. He knew that others had made significant income on social media from live-streaming daily activities...why not live-stream cooking a delicious meal? He then realized that risotto would serve as the perfect dish. It was labor-intensive and requires both quality ingredients and attentiveness to achieve proper texture. It...was perfect, and would be the first rung on the ladder to social media superstardom. After setting up his camera, he was ready to embark on an incredible journey.

ixcuincle took a good look at his cookware and wondered aloud if he should wash the pots and pans. After all, he understood that a proper patina is an asset when cooking, and knew that cleaning his pots would eat away at the patina he had worked so hard to cultivate. "It is fine" he said. His knives, on the other hand, were not sufficiently sharp for the task at hand. Due to several days of reddit research, he was very well-versed in proper knife-sharpening technique. He then proceeded to play whack-a-mole on the sharpening steel with his finest knives, which had been purchased second-hand from an unknown discount manufacturer. After a few seconds, the knife transformation was complete. With a quick smirk at the camera, our hero gathered the necessary ingredients from a creaky refrigerator and stale pantry. He stopped. "Something's missing..." he said. Instantly, a stroke of genius came over him...he had forgotten his cooking apron! With a smile, he retrieved his finest Washington Capitals cooking apron, complete with a vomit stain and the anti-Pittsburgh Penguins graffiti he had written in his own blood after a Game 7 meltdown. After putting on the apron, our hero began chopping the ingredients with his surgical steels. However, there was a problem...he did not have arborio rice, a requirement for achieving an authentic risotto. He then recalled a conversation he had with his neighbor's dog and remarked aloud "No problem, I will just use this white rice since it is the same color." With a smile, he continued along.

"This is too much work" said ixcuincle after 5 minutes of effort. He scoured his kitchen, desperate for
a solution to his dilemma. After a few seconds, our hero knew what he had to do. After a quick glance at the camera, he pulled out his crock pot from the depths of his rarely-used upper cabinet and moved all ingredients to the vessel. After pushing a few buttons, our hero ate a few snacks to ease his overwhelming hunger. ixcuincle then scratched himself inappropriately, smiled to the camera and retired to his computer for a few hours to engage in some rather unsavory activities, pausing only to scream at his Mexican neighbors that were making a truly dreadful noise.

Upon returning, ixcuincle shut off the crock pot and smelled his creation. He could no longer bear to be without it. Upon tasting the dish, he uttered the words that would echo throughout history forever:

"It's really creamy...Damn."

It was time for our hero to return to HFBoards. Turn to page 228 to desperately seek Zaide's approval about Asian pop music, or turn to page 99 to use his software knowledge gleaned from intense internet research to poke fun at OmniCube's career.

Is this a sequel to the origins story post?

 

[Kairi Zaide]

Is this a sequel to the origins story post?

yes

 

[Bones Malone]

K