Terry Trafford Missing (Update: RIP)

[CharlieGirl]

I think the worst possible thing to happen is that nothing happens as a result of this entire incident. Then it really is a complete and total waste of a life.

Ideally the CHL learns a lesson and implements programs that a) work and b) the players know about so that no other parent ever has to wonder where their child is and if he's harmed himself.

I think it's easy to understand that mistakes were made all over the place. The key is to not let those mistakes happen again.

 

[PhlyerPhanatic31]

Very few questions were answered in that article. It was a decent article but certainly not hard hitting.

Agreed. Nothing swayed my opinion of how the situation was handled after reading that article. Still disgusted.

 

[Otto]

I am just surprised there was nothing in the article about when the Spirit notified the authorities of somebody missing, he went missing on Monday and nothing really went public until late Saturday evening/Sunday. Trafford's father assumes it happened very quickly like on the Monday but nobody knows that yet. Members of the organization have been trying to pass the buck. First it was Gilbert who said he never wanted him kicked off the team decision came from higher up, the GM never really said it was his decision, not a word from Goslin. It won't change anything but the biggest wrong was telling Trafford over the phone he was kicked off the team instead of setting up a meeting for when he came back.

But how did the Spirit know he was missing? They released him, notified the parents (yes they didn't get the message until the next day) As far as the Spirit are concerned they most likely figured he was on his way home. When he didn't return calls from his parents or girlfriend it should have been reported then. Heck even the agent knew he'd been cut. Didn't the agent talk to the parents?

The article actually fills in a few blanks. We all figured he was cut in Saginaw, in fact he knew before he left home and elected to keep it a secret, much like his depression. Also, we learned that mental illness or depression runs in his family, yet it appears as though the team was unaware. Even his girlfriend was unaware until the final few days of Terry's life.

Yes the team should take part responsibility for what happened, but there are others who should take an equal part as well

 

[jimslob]

I have been suffering from depression for years, I was suicidal and no one knew it not even my wife.

Everyone knew I was stressed out to the max except for me.

I have been off work for over 6 months now with mental health problems.

It is not always obvious when a person suffers these problems.

It has only been in the last few months that I have been able to talk to others about being suicidal, if I had offed myself would you blame my family or friends for not saving me?

It's a tough thing to deal with and those of us that suffer must take it day to day.

I have not thought of killing myself for over 2 months now but there is always tomorrow.

 

[bobber]

As an example for those blaming the Spirit for Terry 's issues look no further than what took place in Windsor last night with their goalie. He left the game in disgust took a shower and drove home apparently quitting the team. Lot of pressure on these kids and if it happened in Saginaw doesn't mean the rest of the teams in the league are immune. It can happen to any team in the league. Don't kid yourself into thinking the team you cheer for has this stuff under control because they do not. The league is taking there time right now to approach this issue and it's not going to come up with a program over night. Even still there is always a chance it will happen again if people suffering in silence do not seek help.

 

[DarrenPuppa4Prez]

I have been suffering from depression for years, I was suicidal and no one knew it not even my wife.

Everyone knew I was stressed out to the max except for me.

I have been off work for over 6 months now with mental health problems.

It is not always obvious when a person suffers these problems.

It has only been in the last few months that I have been able to talk to others about being suicidal, if I had offed myself would you blame my family or friends for not saving me?

It's a tough thing to deal with and those of us that suffer must take it day to day.

I have not thought of killing myself for over 2 months now but there is always tomorrow.

Glad you're doing better. Hope this incident opens the dialogue for mental health issues.

 

[Coaches Coroner]

What "wrongs" do you think Saginaw management are guilty of?

They said if they thought something like this was a possibility, they would have had a totally different course of action, would have wrapped there arms around him and gotten him the help he needed etc. That doesn't jive well with me. He lived with the owner, the organization had been concerned about his behaviour for a while (citing multiple incidents. They were concerned enough to send him home, and then while at home review they reviwed things further and were concerned enough that they decided to remove him from the team. They weren't concerned enough at that time to get him any help, and they weren't concerned enough to inform the league of his infraction, which would have resulted in him being required to take part in some form of counseling (which may have helped, but no guarentee). It sounded like he would have had to tell them he wanted to commit suicide in order for the concern to be at the level where they would have wrapped their arms around him and gotten him help etc. They are at least guilty of failing to follow league procedure and report Traffords infraction, which at worst would have not made the situation worse than it ended up, and at best could have really helped.

 

[Otto]

They said if they thought something like this was a possibility, they would have had a totally different course of action, would have wrapped there arms around him and gotten him the help he needed etc. That doesn't jive well with me. He lived with the owner, the organization had been concerned about his behaviour for a while (citing multiple incidents. They were concerned enough to send him home, and then while at home review they reviwed things further and were concerned enough that they decided to remove him from the team. They weren't concerned enough at that time to get him any help, and they weren't concerned enough to inform the league of his infraction, which would have resulted in him being required to take part in some form of counseling (which may have helped, but no guarentee). It sounded like he would have had to tell them he wanted to commit suicide in order for the concern to be at the level where they would have wrapped their arms around him and gotten him help etc. They are at least guilty of failing to follow league procedure and report Traffords infraction, which at worst would have not made the situation worse than it ended up, and at best could have really helped.

I don't think the threat of suicide would have been necessary, but if the Spirit were aware of Traffords mental illness and depression then they would have handled it differently. But as stated by the poster earlier the signs are not easy to spot.

 

[blendini]

I have been suffering from depression for years, I was suicidal and no one knew it not even my wife.

Everyone knew I was stressed out to the max except for me.

I have been off work for over 6 months now with mental health problems.

It is not always obvious when a person suffers these problems.

It has only been in the last few months that I have been able to talk to others about being suicidal, if I had offed myself would you blame my family or friends for not saving me?

It's a tough thing to deal with and those of us that suffer must take it day to day.

I have not thought of killing myself for over 2 months now but there is always tomorrow.

Really sorry to hear of your struggles, buddy. I hope that you can continue finding ways to curb your suffering and continue to reach out to others.

Regarding this very sad news, I would agree that it is unfair to start blaming other individuals for this situation. As a mental health social worker, I know from first hand experience that people that end their lives rarely let others know of their plan. Oftentimes, the clues just aren't there, or are too subtle for most people to pick up.

The real blame rests on the shoulders of a society that continues to allow the mentally ill to be publicly ridiculed and shamed. The very influential entertainment industry continues to use humour and derogatory comments regarding these individuals. These remarks would be unacceptable if other minority groups or people with disabilities were treated this way.

The other thing I find really sad, is that this young man seems to have defined himself as a hockey player only. How is it that we allow our young people to view themselves in such a shallow way?

The real tragedy is that this young guy believed that his failure to make the team was more significant than his perception of who he was.

 

[jimslob]

Funny, I made that post two days ago and now I am now thinking of checking myself into a hospital, I just need someone to take care of my cats.

My wife died just over 2 weeks ago and I thought I was doing very good emotionally, depression is a funny thing. (not really)

Once again I am suicidal, the difference now is that I can talk about it and not keep it all inside.

The only reason I am posting this here is that it may help someone with similar issues.

I guarantee you there are people on this board with similar issues and they are the ones I wish to speak to.

Get help, it doesn't matter if it is a coach, doctor, religious person or mental health professional if you are in that place you must talk to someone.

I would guess that I am 30 or 40 years older than most posters on this board, I played hockey in the back yard with Darcy Rota before he was a junior player.

Sorry I digress, the point is there is help but you need to ask for it and first and foremost you have to admit to yourself there is a problem.

This is a difficult thing as there is such a stigma attached to mental illness.

I was the most important person in the concrete construction business on Vancouver Island for many years, my customers want me back but it will not be happening.

Again I digress, if you are depressed or suicidal talk to people, there is no shame in it.

It is a disease, no different than diabetes or cancer, no fault to the victim.

Sorry if I sound like I am preaching but it is a big deal with me right now, if I could save one young person with my story it would be a good day.

 

[blendini]

Funny, I made that post two days ago and now I am now thinking of checking myself into a hospital, I just need someone to take care of my cats.

My wife died just over 2 weeks ago and I thought I was doing very good emotionally, depression is a funny thing. (not really)

Once again I am suicidal, the difference now is that I can talk about it and not keep it all inside.

The only reason I am posting this here is that it may help someone with similar issues.

I guarantee you there are people on this board with similar issues and they are the ones I wish to speak to.

Get help, it doesn't matter if it is a coach, doctor, religious person or mental health professional if you are in that place you must talk to someone.

I would guess that I am 30 or 40 years older than most posters on this board, I played hockey in the back yard with Darcy Rota before he was a junior player.

Sorry I digress, the point is there is help but you need to ask for it and first and foremost you have to admit to yourself there is a problem.

This is a difficult thing as there is such a stigma attached to mental illness.

I was the most important person in the concrete construction business on Vancouver Island for many years, my customers want me back but it will not be happening.

Again I digress, if you are depressed or suicidal talk to people, there is no shame in it.

It is a disease, no different than diabetes or cancer, no fault to the victim.

Sorry if I sound like I am preaching but it is a big deal with me right now, if I could save one young person with my story it would be a good day.

Sorry to hear about your wife, man. I really hope you get the help you need during this most difficult time in your life. Grief is very much like depression and requires ++ support. Make the effort to take care of yourself and get whatever help you need. Best regards.

 

[Hockey Canada 519]

Hard to believe it was a year ago today. Nice to see his teammates posting about Terry on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. To bad the team hasn't. Thought this article was appropriate to post.
http://www.torontosun.com/2015/03/08/remembering-the-ohls-terry-trafford

RIP #TT16

 

[SSMHoundsFan]

Hard to believe it was a year ago today. Nice to see his teammates posting about Terry on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. To bad the team hasn't. Thought this article was appropriate to post.
http://www.torontosun.com/2015/03/08/remembering-the-ohls-terry-trafford

RIP #TT16

The Saginaw Spirit's PR department never handled the situation at first very well so not surprised they aren't doing anything on the anniversary...kind of pathetic as an organization

 

[bcspragu]

Not sure what you last two guys are talking about. The team has remembrances about Terry both on Facebook and Instagram. The OHL social media even shared one of the photos. Not to mention earlier in the season they had a Lets Talk game with multiple things related to charities both in his name and about suicide prevention.

 

[Hockey Canada 519]

Not sure what you last two guys are talking about. The team has remembrances about Terry both on Facebook and Instagram. The OHL social media even shared one of the photos. Not to mention earlier in the season they had a Lets Talk game with multiple things related to charities both in his name and about suicide prevention.

Nothing on their website. Thank you for clarifying that. Happy to hear that they did something. Let's be honest, the league is the one that pushed the Lets Talk games.

 

[Hockey Canada 519]

The Saginaw Spirit's PR department never handled the situation at first very well so not surprised they aren't doing anything on the anniversary...kind of pathetic as an organization

Agreed. Still makes me sick that he was there for that many days.

 

[CharlieGirl]

Yahoo has a piece on Terry, one year later, along with a video.

https://ca.sports.yahoo.com/video/remembering-terry-trafford-212421016.html

It's really well done, and I'm glad that we can say that the league has taken steps and instituted programs aimed to help troubled players and the people who surround them.

Change doesn't come overnight, but it's a very good step in the right direction.