OT: Sens Lounge CV - The CV Joint and other Car Parts Edition

[PoutineSp00nZ]

Seems like the respectful thing for him would be to initially address you as Mr. Smith. And seems like the respectful thing for you to do then would be to say "Call me Mike." This isn't just "some 17yr old trying to get into [your] daughter's pants" – it's a person who's done nothing to show he deserves any less respect than you do.

Except. .. he's totally trying to get into her pants. He's 17. That's all he thinks about.

 

[coladin]

Except. .. he's totally trying to get into her pants. He's 17. That's all he thinks about.

Totally. I am kinda lucky that she got to 16 and a half before her first boyfriend!

 

[Sensmileletsgo]

I think you should just wait to meet him to make any judgements, or else from now on your daughter will only have secret boyfriends.

Exactly. And if there is a list of things that he needs to do (and your daughter needs to do) like call him Mr, then expect more dinners and fun things to be at his parents house and not his.

 

[stempniaksen]

I am kind of this mind. He doesn't know me and I don't know him, right? How the hell does he just walk in and call a 47yr old man by his first name? It would feel more awkward to me. But it is a different day and age, for sure. When I coached sports, no one called me by my first name , it was always coach first. There is some title, needed, no? People who are older than me, I typically call them by their title until they say "please, call me Mike", but some do not say that, and I am fine with that. Valentine's is coming and I gotta get this **** sorted out!

You might be acting like a bit of a dinosaur in your daughter's mind, but ultimately does that (really) matter? You'd like to be called X and (I'm making an assumption here, but I don't think it's a stretch) you pay the bills, so as long as long as this meeting is happening under your roof you could request the kid call you King Coladin and still be (well) within your rights, imo.

Honestly, based on what you've laid out, it doesn't sound like the boyfriend is gonna have an issue you calling you Mr. X. You're in the power seat here and he (probably) wants to do whatever it takes to impress you/end up in your good books. If having him refer to you in a certain way alleviates awkwardness on your end the kid should (and probably would) be on board with it.

 

[coladin]

Exactly. And if there is a list of things that he needs to do (and your daughter needs to do) like call him Mr, then expect more dinners and fun things to be at his parents house and not his.

In the immortal words of Kawhi "I'm a fun guy."

I have a great sense of humour, very chatty with whomever's friends are over. Don't see why it has to be so awful?

 

[Sensmileletsgo]

In the immortal words of Kawhi "I'm a fun guy."

I have a great sense of humour, very chatty with whomever's friends are over. Don't see why it has to be so awful?

Haha you sound like a fun guy. It’s really not a big deal, but I can see why your daughter might of given you an eye roll and some sass. It’s a bit of a dinosaur move to need to be called Mr by someone from a younger generation. I think kids are generally still respectful these days, they just don’t have the same formalities as the previous generation.

I’m sure the guy will be cool with it because he’ll be like ya that’s easy. It’s probably your daughter that will make a bigger deal out of it and think you’re embarrassing her.

 

[Ice-Tray]

Ok, so dilemma that I need some opinions on:

My 16yr old daughter has her first boyfrend, and she wants to bring him home as he wants to meet us. How nice. Anyways, I told her that I want him to call me Mr. , I find it awkward that a 17yr old boy is going to be introduced and address me on a first name basis. Like, that is for my friends and family, not some 17yr old trying to get into my daughter's pants. Of course, she is mortified at the prospect of it. I don't see the big deal when he comes over to say "Hi Mr. Smith, Hi Mrs. Smith", or whatever. Instead , he is supposed to walk in and say, " Hi Mike"?

So, am i the dinosaur that she wails that I am, or do I stand tall and expect that this is the way it should go?

Your name, your choice. And it give the lad something to work towards. He proves himself worthy for your daughter, he can get on a first name basis with pops. Case closed.

 

[Ice-Tray]

I have a son, so I get to avoid this a little. But my plan was to nail a pair of ripped underwear to the tree and tell the kid that her last boyfriend lasted 2 hours up there. How long does he think he can last?

You teach the boy to help The rest of us avoid this little issue by starting with “hi Mr. Coladin, nice to meet you, I’m Sven.”

Now that’s a young lad that gets to first names quickly

 

[coladin]

Your name, your choice. And it give the lad something to work towards. He proves himself worthy for your daughter, he can get on a first name basis with pops. Case closed.

My Man!

 

[2CHAINZ]

I am kind of this mind. He doesn't know me and I don't know him, right? How the hell does he just walk in and call a 47yr old man by his first name? It would feel more awkward to me. But it is a different day and age, for sure. When I coached sports, no one called me by my first name , it was always coach first. There is some title, needed, no? People who are older than me, I typically call them by their title until they say "please, call me Mike", but some do not say that, and I am fine with that. Valentine's is coming and I gotta get this **** sorted out!

Well in fairness it sounds like your daughter told him your first name and told him to call you that or so it seems I am sure if you tell him to call you Mr "coladin" he will and you can tell what kind of person he is by the way he responds to you.

Also the fact that she wants you to meet him is a good sign, means you raised a pretty good girl imo, clearly she wants to be open with you and wants you to be part of her life so props to you and you should be pretty happy!

 

[Ice-Tray]

We have two teen daughters, and my PAL course starts next month

It’s Mr. all the way, gentle teasing over dinner, judgment over their favourite hockey team, then baby pictures for dessert.

Then I’ll drive his ass home

 

[Caeldan]

Totally. I am kinda lucky that she got to 16 and a half before her first boyfriend!

That you're aware of

 

[Stylizer1]

I am kind of this mind. He doesn't know me and I don't know him, right? How the hell does he just walk in and call a 47yr old man by his first name? It would feel more awkward to me. But it is a different day and age, for sure. When I coached sports, no one called me by my first name , it was always coach first. There is some title, needed, no? People who are older than me, I typically call them by their title until they say "please, call me Mike", but some do not say that, and I am fine with that. Valentine's is coming and I gotta get this **** sorted out!

Mr. S. problem solved and it doesn't make you seem old.

 

[SensPerpetualRebuild]

I’d insist on one of Mr Brown, Mr Blonde, Mr Pink ...

 

[FunkySeeFunkyDoo]

We have two teen daughters, and my PAL course starts next month

It’s Mr. all the way, gentle teasing over dinner, judgment over their favourite hockey team, then baby pictures for dessert.

Then I’ll drive his ass home

Sorry, what is "PAL"an acronym for?

 

[AchtzehnBaby]

Parent
Assassins
League

 

[Here I Pageau Again]

My understanding is that it less deadly than SARS (about 3% of people are dying with Coronavirus compared to 9% with SARS). The bad news is that it is spreading a lot quicker and infecting a lot more people.

SARS was about 19% if I recall correctly. The death rate is much lower with the Corona virus. The biggest thing is the long incubation period. So it has the chance to spread to more people. However, it still isn't (the last I checked) spreading like mad in westernized countries.

Right now we are about 2 weeks out of the first case in Canada and we are at 7 cases. So the next week will be telling.

As a health care worker, I'm not super worried about it. Honestly the flu spreads just as badly, and the flu death rate is 65% higher (States stats) this year (also higher than the Corona virus).

 

[Here I Pageau Again]

Kids are taught to use first name only these days. I couldn't believe it.

Respect is still there if they are taught respect, but it doesn't end up in a personal title.

I'm 34 and I rarely use last names. Obviously if introduced as Mr or Mrs then I'll go with it, but I personally want to use my first name. Even at work, we rarely use last names with our Drs. Except a certain few. But your name, your choice!

Speaking of last names, I have to change mine... But I'm struggling!

 

[YouGotAStuGoing]

Sorry, what is "PAL"an acronym for?

Possession Acquisition Licence. Firearms.

 

[AchtzehnBaby]

I'm 34 and I rarely use last names. Obviously if introduced as Mr or Mrs then I'll go with it, but I personally want to use my first name. Even at work, we rarely use last names with our Drs. Except a certain few. But your name, your choice!

Speaking of last names, I have to change mine... But I'm struggling!

I am the same age as the OP

it is different for us old boomers

 

[Nac Mac Feegle]

Just sit back and see what the kid does when he meets you.

Anyone with a brain is going to want to make a good first impression. He shouldn't need to be told to call you by your formal name...he should be looking to do it. Whether it's "cool" or not, if the kid doesn't use a Mr., then he's not a keeper.

 

[Sensmileletsgo]

SARS was about 19% if I recall correctly. The death rate is much lower with the Corona virus. The biggest thing is the long incubation period. So it has the chance to spread to more people. However, it still isn't (the last I checked) spreading like mad in westernized countries.

Right now we are about 2 weeks out of the first case in Canada and we are at 7 cases. So the next week will be telling.

As a health care worker, I'm not super worried about it. Honestly the flu spreads just as badly, and the flu death rate is 65% higher (States stats) this year (also higher than the Corona virus).

SARS was 9% (according to a quick google search). I do a lot of business in China and have made some friends over there so I am pretty concerned for them. Also really concerned for my business. Sounds like they are on almost total lockdown, only being able to leave the home every 3rd day for a very short period. I hope it does continue to drag on.

 

[maclean]

As a parent of my own kids I always tell other kids to use the informal with me, but that's my choice. If your choice is Mr, that's your choice and let's be honest, to her you're going to be a dinosaur no matter what and it gives the other kid the right idea that you need to be kept in the back of his perverted mind That said I don't agree that all 17-year-olds are only after one thing. At that age I was very much into the idea of real love, but of course that other thing comes to the table quite quickly.

As a kid I feel I pretty much never used any form of address to parents of peers. As far as I recall they would introduce themselves with their first names but honestly I didn't feel entirely comfortable with that either so I just never used a form of address. It was only when my first son was born that my mother-in-law announced I could use the informal with her and when I married her daughter that I could call her mom. To this day I have never referred to her by either that or her name or Mrs. I just avoid it at all costs

Turning 40 this year and am thoroughly enjoying the fact that increasingly I can just go right to the informal with even older people and not really give it a second thought. If I'm in doubt I've got very good at using ambiguous language to avoid having to choose a formal or informal variant.

 

[maclean]

and the flu death rate is 65% higher (States stats)

I had to read this like five times before I registered that it said 65% higher than Coronavirus and not 65%/65% or higher

 

[coladin]

That you're aware of

You are the horse.