Captain Dave Poulin
Imaginary Cat
Welcome To The 20/21 Flyers Board NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot, PHASE SEVEN! Part Two!
We have now completed six glorious phases, full of integrity and backstabbing and honesty and duplicity but no duplication and burgers and breakfast cereal and music and anti-music and various animals including but not limited to salmon death ferrets.
We head back into history this time, or what Dancing Panther calls “That shit that I don’t remember, so it doesn’t count.” It’s very exciting to know that all of the games played by these people are over, so we don’t have to watch them, but all of the rational stuff is heading with us into the future and the brand-new universe. Nee motherf***ing Haw.
LEGEND PLAYERS
It is especially important now and moving forward to carefully check the lists on the first page and in that spreadsheet to make sure you don’t pick someone who has already been chosen. I know it’s confusing, but we have chosen a shit ton of shit. And players.
This could be seen as our “Third Legend Line,” since we already have two Legend Lines and calling it anything else would be defective. The only thing that is different is that we are picking a second legend goalie. Don’t shit down your leg about it - there are plenty left.
The same rules as PHASE FIVE! apply - they don’t have to be alive, and they can’t be currently playing professional hockey. We will use Hockey Reference to confirm positional integrity. Don’t worry about “right” and “left” for defensemen. So these are the positions you need to fill as we continue to pretend that hockey matters.
- LW
- C
- RW
- D
- D
- G
IMPORTANT RATIONAL STUFF
Remember that your very survival in the new world could depend on these choices in ways we couldn’t ever imagine, and your very enjoyment in surviving will definitely depend on these choices in ways that only I and my team of crack (pipe) scientists could ever imagine.
Unless otherwise stated, the people and things below can be anyone/anything except people/things that have already been explicitly picked OR cause conflict with our “no duplicates” law of the new universe.
- Team TV/Movie Character - No Duplicates, right? So think of a TV or Movie character that is part of something that has not been picked, or is already part of your TV or Movie franchise. This character will not effect categories going forward, so for example, if we happen to have a category like “Team Standalone Film” later, the choice of a character from that show or film will not keep you from picking it. The reason I say that is so you won’t feel restricted in picking a character, except for the restrictions imposed by the No Duplicates law.
- Team Last Meal - This is like if you were on Death Row, or Death Row Records with an unlimited budget at dinner time, and you could only choose one final meal for your life. We are waiving our NO DUPLICATES law for this category, because all of us can afford to share one f***ing meal from our exclusive foods, damn it, so in terms of choosing, this is a free-for-all.
- Team Urban Myth - What I can tell you about this without giving anything away is to look up “Urban Myth” and choose something you find. Don’t just wildly grab something that isn’t an Urban Myth or we will veto the shit out of it. I can’t give you a definition of it without naming names, so do the legwork. It will take you approximately five seconds, if you don’t already have something in mind.
- Team Chain Restaurant - Pretty straightforward. No Duplicates.
- Team Apparel Provider - This company will make the shit you wear when you aren’t wearing Try Hard Garbage swag, which you should always be wearing except for the acrylic blocks.
- Choose A Future Draft Category - This must be something serious and with enough options so that all teams will be able to think of something. It can be something that has been suggested before, like all that stuff about which I have said “I will add it to the list.” Satisfy yourself with a category you want to choose for and don’t worry if other people won’t like it, but make sure it makes enough sense that we can all think of something for it. Take a moment to think how awesome this is, and then say “Thank you” to Hollywood. Couturier, not Hayes.
Remember: “Chaos” is not the same thing as “Havoc.” Engage in the former, not the latter. We have a whole ton of stuff left over for PHASE SIX! so don’t worry if categories you wanted aren’t in here - I will champion them later with the boss.
For the first round, we will give everyone 12 hours to get revved up again - for all the succeeding rounds, it will be six hours. The daily clock starts at 8 a.m. and ends at 10 p.m., all times Eastern. This is a MONGOOSE DRAFT, which is the same functionally as a snake draft, but isn’t named after the **** of the animal world.
Don't forget to tag the next person in your pick post AND send a PM.
DRAFT ORDER
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Mighty Ducks
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
Hurricane28 - Virginia Beach Surge
Striiker - Allentown Attack
Flytimmo - Boston FlyTimmos
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Mighty Ducks
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
Hurricane28 - Virginia Beach Surge
Striiker - Allentown Attack
Flytimmo - Boston FlyTimmos
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
DON’T FORGET TO STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH QUACKVERSE MERCH AND/OR SWAG!
RIVALRIES
| HOST | RIVAL | |
| Allentown Attack | vs | New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins |
| Boston FlyTimmos | vs | Los Angeles Whalers |
| Chicago Chimpanzees | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| Honolulu Ghibli | vs | Florida Methgators |
| Jacksonville Methgators | vs | Tampa Bay FireSticks |
| Las Vegas Desert Ducks | vs | Providence Platypi |
| Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha! | vs | Boston FlyTimmos |
| Los Angeles Whalers | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Montreal Sexpos | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins | vs | Allentown Attack |
| New York M.A.D. Cats | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Philadelphia Villains | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Portland Fog | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
| Providence Platypi | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| Quebec Lapins | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Seattle Sockeyes | vs | Vancouver Beavers |
| St. Paul Stay Pufts | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| Tampa Bay FireSticks | vs | Jacksonville Methgators |
| Vancouver Beavers | vs | Seattle Sockeyes |
| Virginia Beach Surge | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
NO NAMING NAMES, NO PICK TIPPING, NO ICE CREAM BANTER, NO TWITCH SHIT, SNITCHES GET STITCHES!
LEARN TO F***ING READ!
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE ON INSTAGRAM
Seriously, how much constant shit luck are the Overlords of EP trying to heap on Flyers fans? Ridiculous. BUT the thing is, I have both of CF88's picks, so we'll probably average out OK. And there's no rush, so it doesn't matter.
then I'll post CF's second, then it's 
