Desert Ice 11
I'm here!
It's a quote attributed to a politician, put on air by a reputable cable channel. The sum total of credibility involved is many magnitudes greater than what you bring to the table with your armchair analysis.
You're not even using the correct model of flare that the military attributed the 'phenomenon' to. The flare explanation (as shallow as it is) was also only given for one event when there were many.
Arm chair analysis is 6 years in the USAF 2W0X1 career field. I know more about flares than you do.