2008 ones:
Pre-tournament
1. CANADA
This is one Halifax of a roster
2. RUSSIA
Relations with Washington have never been stronger
3. CZECH REPUBLIC
Seventh place in Moscow was just a bad dream
4. FINLAND
We need a complete Teemu effort
5. UNITED STATES
Any forward whose name starts with “P†must be checked closely
6. SWEDEN
Mats Sundin won’t waive his no-movement clause to return to Quebec City
7. SLOVAKIA
They’ve been hit hard by recent medal shortages
8. SWITZERLAND
Only three things in life are certain: death, taxes, and Ralph Krueger
9. LATVIA
It’s exciting to visit North America, the home continent of referee Rick Looker
10. DENMARK
Oh goodie, we’re in the same group as Russia again
11. GERMANY
Shouldn’t Jason Holland be playing for the Netherlands?
12. BELARUS
Go Flyers Go!
13. NORWAY
Do they listen to a-ha or Dimmu Borgir in the dressing room?
14. SLOVENIA
My name is Anze, and I need help
15. ITALY
Tonelli has great hands - but we’re referring to team masseur Guido Tonelli
16. FRANCE
Unfortunately, founding Quebec City 400 years ago doesn’t count in the standings
After game 1:
1. CANADA
Dany heats up and Marcel Dionne passes the torch
2. RUSSIA
Beating Italy: a Semin-al moment in Russian hockey history?
3. CZECH REPUBLIC
Radim Vrbata is totally radical, dude, and Radek Duda would agree if he was here
4. UNITED STATES
Citizen Kane is a classic
5. FINLAND
A fine start: let’s see how they Finnish
6. SLOVAKIA
Sure, they have a Hossa, but they could use a Crosby
7. SWEDEN
A 6-5 win is great, if it’s over the Soviets in the 1987 Canada Cup
8. SWITZERLAND
If only Ottawa had played France in the playoffs
9. DENMARK
If we’d kept up our first-minute pace, we’d have beaten the Czechs 60-0
10. GERMANY
Penalties benefit Germany in football, not so much in hockey
11. NORWAY
Patrick Thoresen isn’t coming, which drives the Norwegians nuts
12. LATVIA
More goals, less horns
13. BELARUS
Hope you saved some goals for the rest of the tournament
14. SLOVENIA
Kopitar was right about “five goals†- too bad Canada scored them and not him
15. ITALY
Mamma mia, those Russians are faster than Ferraris!
16. FRANCE
Samuel de Champlain wouldn’t be too impressed
After Game 2:
1. CANADA
Nobody’s perfect, but Canada’s close
2. RUSSIA
Morozov, Morozov, he’s our man: if he can’t do it, no one Kazan
3. UNITED STATES
Against Slovenia, Phil made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs
4. CZECH REPUBLIC
Jaromir, since you said you plan to keep playing...
5. SWEDEN
My my, at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender
6. FINLAND
You do realize that was Norway, not Sweden?
7. SWITZERLAND
Switzerland’s made the Qualifying Round, and Krokus is reuniting: can life get any better?
8. GERMANY
Beautiful: Berlin bashes Bratislava
9. SLOVAKIA
Satan’s not scoring, Palffy’s not scoring - what’s wrong with this team?
10. NORWAY
Do you believe in Norwegian miracles? ALMOST!
11. DENMARK
All Danes are proud of you (and so is Peter Westermark)
12. BELARUS
Any other NHLers we can bring in?
13. SLOVENIA
5-1, 5-1...at least they’re consistent
14. ITALY
Marcus Aurelius had a dream that was Rome - this is not it
15. LATVIA
At least nobody threw a shoe
16. FRANCE
Le jour de gloire n’est pas arrivé