OT: Humor thread
- Thread starter Jets 31
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Ok don't watch this with food or drink in your mouth because it's getting spit out everywhere from laughing. 
I swear the more you watch this the funnier it gets, Ozzy man is hilarious.Ok don't watch this with food or drink in your mouth because it's getting spit out everywhere from laughing.
ryerockarola
Registered User
- Nov 20, 2011
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ryerockarola
Registered User
- Nov 20, 2011
- 6,000
- 7,586
f*** me dead his legs look nervous and legs don't lie, the big unit has fallen....Nikolai's concussed again!I swear the more you watch this the funnier it gets, Ozzy man is hilarious.
He's living independently out of the basement of his mother's house .f*** me dead his legs look nervous and legs don't lie, the big unit has fallen....Nikolai's concussed again!
A sexually active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because, over the years they had become a bit loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret and, of course, the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anesthesia, she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately called in the surgeon.
"I thought I specifically asked you not to tell anyone about my operation"!
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him. "I felt so sad for you, you went through this all by yourself."
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and understood perfectly, as she had the same procedure done some time ago."
"And what about the third rose?" she asked.
"That's from a man in the burn unit - he wanted to thank you for his new ears”.
"I thought I specifically asked you not to tell anyone about my operation"!
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him. "I felt so sad for you, you went through this all by yourself."
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and understood perfectly, as she had the same procedure done some time ago."
"And what about the third rose?" she asked.
"That's from a man in the burn unit - he wanted to thank you for his new ears”.
She told me to "take off my skirt first" so I took off her skirt.
Next she said "take off my shoes", so I took off he shoes.
Then she said "take off my bra and panties" so I took off her bra and panties.
Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again!"
Next she said "take off my shoes", so I took off he shoes.
Then she said "take off my bra and panties" so I took off her bra and panties.
Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again!"
One day a duck walks into a hardware store. The duck walks up to the counter and asks the owner "Ya got any grapes?" The owner's shocked at this talking duck and says "No....sorry... no we don't..." The duck turns and leaves.
The next day the duck walks in again! Walks up to the counter and asks the owner "Got any grapes?" The owner's still amazed, but manages to say, "No, we've never carried grapes, sorry." The duck leaves.
The next day the duck's back again! Walks up to the owner and asks "Got any grapes?" The owner's getting ticked off now and says "Listen here - this is a hardware store! We sell tools, not food! The next time you ask me about grapes I'm gonna nail your bill shut!" The duck leaves.
The next day the owner sees the duck walk in and right away clenches his teeth and glares at the duck. The duck walks up and asks, "Got any nails?" The owner, very surprised, answers "We're all sold out, sorry about that." The duck quacks "Got any grapes?"
The next day the duck walks in again! Walks up to the counter and asks the owner "Got any grapes?" The owner's still amazed, but manages to say, "No, we've never carried grapes, sorry." The duck leaves.
The next day the duck's back again! Walks up to the owner and asks "Got any grapes?" The owner's getting ticked off now and says "Listen here - this is a hardware store! We sell tools, not food! The next time you ask me about grapes I'm gonna nail your bill shut!" The duck leaves.
The next day the owner sees the duck walk in and right away clenches his teeth and glares at the duck. The duck walks up and asks, "Got any nails?" The owner, very surprised, answers "We're all sold out, sorry about that." The duck quacks "Got any grapes?"
Yukon Joe
Registered User
Sounds like alot of posters on here when talking about who the Jets should trade for and after we make the trade.
- Feb 24, 2015
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A duck walks into Shoppers and asks for Chapstik
The clerk asks the duck how he’s going to pay for this.
The duck said I’m not just put it on my bill
The clerk asks the duck how he’s going to pay for this.
The duck said I’m not just put it on my bill
LolA duck walks into Shoppers and asks for Chapstik
The clerk asks the duck how he’s going to pay for this.
The duck said I’m not just put it on my bill
A guy turns to his buddy and asks, hey do you have any naked pictures of your wife ? The buddy responds with NO !!! to which the friend then says, that's too bad, did you want some.
- Feb 24, 2015
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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender get me a rum and.............coke
Bartender says why the big pause?
Bear says I was born with them
I know just heard that today....groaner
Bartender says why the big pause?
Bear says I was born with them
I know just heard that today....groaner
- Feb 24, 2015
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Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob. Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor."
As someone who was “Married...with children”, this man and Red Foreman were my heroes!
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