The Players' Tribune: Dan Carcillo - I Can't Live Like That Anymore/Nick Boynton - Everything's Not OK

[Tundra]

I have a lot of sympathy for Carcillo, I don't see how you can't.

Did he have the cleanest play style? No, but how many guys have come out and said they only did that because they were asked to fill a role and they were just trying to make a living? A lot.

The reality is that it's really not all their fault. At some point they were also pushed or coached to be that way... I just feel like people shouldn't judge if you weren't in their shoes, I'm sure it wasn't easy.

If your boss tells you to jump off a bridge.....

 

[BKarchitect]

Pardon if this is not a fresh take but in some ways concussions in high level athletics is like a male-dominated version of the #MeToo (not to say either situation is restricted only to a certain sex).

Basically, people who aren’t in it or don’t have to deal with it...the lay person...thinks to themselves “how could you not know...how could you not say anything...how could you just go along with it...etc, etc”.

But it’s about more than that, it’s about a deeply, deeply instilled culture of how things are done, how people should behave. It’s about livelihoods and dreams and aspirations and everything that makes people feel valued and worthwhile. To distill it to “getting hit in the head feels bad, you should stop” is simply missing the point.

Thankfully, research has advanced and people speaking out are making a difference. Things are changing and will continue to change - much the chagrin of “old timer fans” who miss how great everything was back in the day and who don’t have to spend their lives worrying about why they feel the urge to kill themselves on a daily basis.

 

[Tundra]

Pardon if this is not a fresh take but in some ways concussions in high level athletics is like a male-dominated version of the #MeToo (not to say either situation is restricted only to a certain sex).

Basically, people who aren’t in it or don’t have to deal with it...the lay person...thinks to themselves “how could you not know...how could you not say anything...how could you just go along with it...etc, etc”.

But it’s about more than that, it’s about a deeply, deeply instilled culture of how things are done, how people should behave. It’s about livelihoods and dreams and aspirations and everything that makes people feel valued and worthwhile. To distill it to “getting hit in the head feels bad, you should stop” is simply missing the point.

Thankfully, research has advanced and people speaking out are making a difference. Things are changing and will continue to change - much the chagrin of “old timer fans” who miss how great everything was back in the day and who don’t have to spend their lives worrying about why they feel the urge to kill themselves on a daily basis.

It's like that in every facet of our lives though. People have leverage over others and in most instances, the person rolls over. Hockey is no different than the unsaid rules adopted in a workplace.

 

[mapleleafs34]

Sorry to hear it. Props to you for being open about it. The only way the stigma will change is if we keep talking about it and make awareness and treatment a priority in society.

Thank you, finally someone who gets it.

 

[mapleleafs34]

No sympathy from me for these athletes. They knew what they signed up for and were compensated accordingly. If you don’t like it, chose another profession. Don’t whine to the public about it after you’ve made your millions.

They're not whining, they are trying to spread awareness. There's a difference

 

[Devilsfan118]

Great cause, and respect that he's trying to spread awareness about it.

But he's not exactly going about this in the best way in some respects.. attacking other former players on twitter won't win many followers.

They're not whining, they are trying to spread awareness. There's a difference

Ehh he's treading the line between the two in this situation. Respect what he's trying to do though.

 

[mapleleafs34]

You can keep your adorable insults to yourself.

I am not wishing or celebrating. I feel about these athletes the same exact way I feel about people who smoke and get lung cancer.

They knew exactly what they signed up for. They don’t get to go through the entire process and then whine about the predictable, foreseeable, easily avoided outcome that they 100% chose for themselves. In short, they deserve it.

These guys like Carcillo and Boynton are NOT whining for the millionth time. They are trying to spread awareness on mental health and how it is becoming a huge concern in today's society. Reading your posts actually make me sick.

Carcillo & Boynton are doing what guys like Belak and Boogard didn't do. Instead of suffering in silence, they are trying to spread awareness. But then there's people like you. Dumber than a bucket of a rocks.

 

[mapleleafs34]

The lack of awareness for Mental Health issues around here is disgusting.

I'd be ashamed to know most of you IRL.

Amen to that.

 

[BrindamoursNose]

Can't people just say "Man, that sucks. Feel bad for him regardless of the past"?

Is that really that controversial of a stance to take for some of y'all?

He's a real human, you know.

 

[BKarchitect]

It's like that in every facet of our lives though. People have leverage over others and in most instances, the person rolls over. Hockey is no different than the unsaid rules adopted in a workplace.

True which is why we should all be able to relate on some level, applaud those who speak out with a measure of introspection (without deifying them; they are people for better or worse) - and take seriously the next steps to further out and deal with particular deeply ingrained environments that thrive on the pressuring others to do things that are harmful that they feel are required to prove their worth.

It's not lost on me that a guy like Carcillo has a much more limited career without doing "what he does" but you can't put a price on mental health. Making people aware of that is worthwhile.

 

[TGWL]

If your boss tells you to jump off a bridge.....

Is that the game we're playing?

The NHL is different. If you don't fulfill that role, you're gone. You're finished doing what you love - playing hockey. Maybe you find a different league that pays your comfortable lifestyle, but it's not the NHL. It's not your dream. This isn't, "my boss told me to punch an employee so I told him to f*** off and found a different job. " If you don't do what the coach tells you to do, guess what, you sit there on the bench watching everybody else go out and play.

 

[BigBadBruins7708]

my main issue with how he is going about it is pretty simple.

I dont like that he's playing the victim card, and saying "oh, I didnt know intentionally giving people brain injuries was bad for their health because no one told me"

Thats garbage and everyone knows it.

If he just came at it with "I know I played a way that contributed to this issue, but I see my mistake and want to make up for them. Mental health/concussions...."

that would get basically universal respect and support. Even his detractors would have to say at least he admits his mistakes and is trying to rectify them.

It isnt his message, its who its coming from and how he's painting it

 

[BrindamoursNose]

my main issue with how he is going about it is pretty simple.

I dont like that he's playing the victim card, and saying "oh, I didnt know intentionally giving people brain injuries was bad for their health because no one told me"

Thats garbage and everyone knows it.

If he just came at it with "I know I played a way that contributed to this issue, but I see my mistake and want to make up for them. Mental health/concussions...."

that would get basically universal respect and support. Even his detractors would have to say at least he admits his mistakes and is trying to rectify them.

It isnt his message, its who its coming from and how he's painting it

Who has ever intentionally given someone a brain injury?

That's why you'll never hear him say something like that -- it isn't the truth.

 

[Nac Mac Feegle]

If your boss tells you to jump off a bridge.....

Dude...seriously?

You do realize, there are millions of folks out there like me, who work a dead-end, crappy job for pennies above minimum wage, because this is all we can get. And we damned well know the job is going to kill us. But we do it anyway, because everyone needs a roof over their head, food in their belly and a pillow.

That's the real problem. It isn't just contact sports, or the coal mines, or the construction site. The problem is society as a whole, determining that we are all disposable pieces of the machine.

 

[PensPlz]

Ha. The knee-jerk top "karma" posts in this thread make me think they didn't even watch the video before posting.... or simply lack basic understanding.

Carcillo literally owned up that he probably caused as many brain injuries that he received. This wasn't a video asking for sympathy. He's clearly trying to educate and give caution from a player that's been through it.

This sort of derangement is why it's so hard to have a dialog with people anymore. People see Carcillo, hate him for x,y, and z.... and therefor automatically hate anything and everything he does going forward, despite if it's actually good. Carcillo is trying to address a very big issue, but since it's him doing it... people just poo all over it.

Sad.

 

[Randy Randerson]

This is definitely and example of "be the change you want to see" - the game is a spectacle for its fans, ultimately it's the fans who decide what shape the game takes by the influence of our viewership and dollars spent.

Personally, I'm more interested in a game that has no designated tough guys, where cheap shots are punished to the point that their consequences outweigh their benefits, and if fighting leaves the game entirely I won't bat an eye in terms of my support of the NHL. If you feel the same, that's a message that we should get out

 

[kaner13]

You're just being willfully ignorant. You can't possibly pretend to understand the full impact of concussions NOW in the very moment, let alone 10 years ago. And I'm assuming you're better educated than him, which perhaps isn't such a good assumption.

You truly are a disgusting person.

That's not necessary or helping anything.

 

[Ola]

I'll go to my fall back position on this: Every single one of the guys speaking out now and/or involved in lawsuits would do it all over again knowing in advance the damage it would do. I'd bet the farm on it.

Franzen for example have stated that he can’t believe that he tried that last comeback.

 

[Coastal Kev]

Fans who have no problem with the players they rooted for ending up unable to dress themselves is both incredibly sick and sad. If somebody suffering brain damage doesn't bother you than you aren't a real fan because you clearly see the players as nothing but completely disposable pieces of meat.

Do you shed a tear every time you eat a crab leg or tuna? Because being a fisherman is a lot harder and more dangerous profession than being a hockey player for a heckuva lot less money and benefits. And by benefits I mean snow bunnies.

 

[BKarchitect]

Lol at the typical “this generation is soft” comments in this thread.

“People are soft these days...what a bunch of snowflakes...millionaire athletes complaining about being suicidal. Women complaining about being complemented for their looks. Soldiers coming back from fake wars with this PTSD nonsense. I’ll tell you what, back in my days and back in the days of the “greatest generation”, men were real men. We had responsibility and courage. We didn’t wear sissy helmets for sports. We killed Nazis. We didn’t worry about our children all the time. Women didn’t provoke us to have immoral thoughts with their right to dress and act as they saw fit. And when we had bad thoughts, we didn’t “talk about them”...hah don’t make me laugh. We buried those thoughts. Buried them deep inside and didn’t tell a thing to anybody. Ignorance is better than dealing with issues after all. And when all those buried thoughts just became too much to handle, we beat our women and children in the privacy of our own homes. We cheated and lied without a bunch of snakes in the media spreading rumors all over the internet. And when we wanted to off ourselves and end it, we didn’t write pansy articles, we just did it and left our friends and family clueless as to why. We were raised tough. Real men. The greatest generation. Those were the days.”

 

[Coastal Kev]

My all time favourite player Chris Pronger was ruined by concussions.. some say karma but I say sad

And the irony of course being that you loved Pronger because he scrambled opponents heads into omelets .

 

[Coastal Kev]

Lol at the typical “this generation is soft” comments in this thread.

“People are soft these days...what a bunch of snowflakes...millionaire athletes complaining about being suicidal. Women complaining about being complemented for their looks. Soldiers coming back from fake wars with this PTSD nonsense. I’ll tell you what, back in my days and back in the days of the “greatest generation”, men were real men. We had responsibility and courage. We didn’t wear sissy helmets for sports. We killed Nazis. We didn’t worry about our children all the time. Women didn’t provoke us to have immoral thoughts with their right to dress and act as they saw fit. And when we had bad thoughts, we didn’t “talk about them”...hah don’t make me laugh. We buried those thoughts. Buried them deep inside and didn’t tell a thing to anybody. Ignorance is better than dealing with issues after all. And when all those buried thoughts just became too much to handle, we beat our women and children in the privacy of our own homes. We cheated and lied without a bunch of snakes in the media spreading rumors all over the internet. And when we wanted to off ourselves and end it, we didn’t write pansy articles, we just did it and left our friends and family clueless as to why. We were raised tough. Real men. The greatest generation. Those were the days.”

I understand this is sarcasm, but I agree with nearly all of the sentiment.

 

[PuckInTheNards]

Funny how for some folks, it always comes down to "well, they made millions, so they deserve what they got." That argument screams petty jealousy to me - losers who don't want anyone else to succeed because they didn't either. Maybe an over-generalization but that's how it reads to me.

Argument goes the opposite way for me. We dangle a huge carrot for these guys - give them an overwhelming incentive to destroy themselves. It's a honey trap and we, as a society and a fan base, set it. The moral failure is ours.

 

[Eat The Rich]

Lol at the typical “this generation is soft” comments in this thread.

“People are soft these days...what a bunch of snowflakes...millionaire athletes complaining about being suicidal. Women complaining about being complemented for their looks. Soldiers coming back from fake wars with this PTSD nonsense. I’ll tell you what, back in my days and back in the days of the “greatest generation”, men were real men. We had responsibility and courage. We didn’t wear sissy helmets for sports. We killed Nazis. We didn’t worry about our children all the time. Women didn’t provoke us to have immoral thoughts with their right to dress and act as they saw fit. And when we had bad thoughts, we didn’t “talk about them”...hah don’t make me laugh. We buried those thoughts. Buried them deep inside and didn’t tell a thing to anybody. Ignorance is better than dealing with issues after all. And when all those buried thoughts just became too much to handle, we beat our women and children in the privacy of our own homes. We cheated and lied without a bunch of snakes in the media spreading rumors all over the internet. And when we wanted to off ourselves and end it, we didn’t write pansy articles, we just did it and left our friends and family clueless as to why. We were raised tough. Real men. The greatest generation. Those were the days.”

Exactly.

I can handle almost any physical pain I face on a day to day basis. Physical pain is easy, you feel it for a bit, it sucks, but unless it's permanent, it goes away. Hell, I'd rather walk in to the dentist and have them poke around for an hour folliwed by removing teeth than have to face going to work on a day when I can barely get out of bed from feeling like shit.

Mental pain is completely debilitating. Anyone who tries to tell you that they don't have mental health issues is a liar. Those of us who suffer from depression/anxiety IMO are at least 10x tougher than "tough guys" of the world, who flinch at the thought of anything that they don't agree with.

 

[Tundra]

If you could go back in time and provide a 20 year old Carcillo with all the facts, do you really think he's going to reverse course? I'm glad Carcillo is bringing attention to the issue, but I'm not entirely buying the victimhood angle.