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OT: 64th Obsequious Banter Thread: Patrick and Provorov Before They Were Cool

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Captain Dave Poulin

Captain Dave Poulin

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LegionOfDoom91 said:
Just been binge watching some old Steven Seagal movies the past couple of days. So bad but so good.
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Yep. "Above the Law," the first time you saw it back in the day, was the first time you saw that kind of Revenge-Fu, where he just didn't give a **** how bad he hurt guys, you know? Just a total badass. The next three movies were more of the same, with diminishing returns. Then he just turned into complete human slop and started wearing crazy jackets to cover his burgeoning lard. The best thing was this one, I will find it, wait ... "Out of Reach" from 2004:

"Billy Ray Lansing, a former covert agent turned survivalist, discovers that the foster program he is using to help a young girl is actually a human trafficking network. Lancing heads overseas to find the girl and shut down the operation."

So he's a survivalist wearing this ridiculous buckskin trenchcoat, right, and at the end of the movie, having completed his mission, they show him walking through the forest in this ridiculous buckskin trenchcoat ... and it was clearly a stunt double, walking through the forest. The fat bastard lol.
 
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Amorgus

Amorgus

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If I done have enough stress right now I go out to my car to find someone busted out my driver's side front window. The doors were still locked and nothing was missing because there's nothing in there, so it looks like just random vandalism. Meanwhile my job's in chaos and I'm going to be down an important worker because his wife is probably going to die today and I'm supposed to cover for him getting data to the media for publishing property and business filings while trying to get the new database export function working properly. FML
 
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Captain Dave Poulin

Captain Dave Poulin

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Amorgus said:
If I done have enough stress right now I go out to my car to find someone busted out my driver's side front window. The doors were still locked and nothing was missing because there's nothing in there, so it looks like just random vandalism. Meanwhile my job's in chaos and I'm going to be down an important worker because his wife is probably going to die today and I'm supposed to cover for him getting data to the media for publishing property and business filings while trying to get the new database export function working properly. FML
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Deep breaths, Morgo. Just do what you can and **** the rest. Hang in there. :thumbu:
 
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Danko

Danko

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Amorgus said:
If I done have enough stress right now I go out to my car to find someone busted out my driver's side front window. The doors were still locked and nothing was missing because there's nothing in there, so it looks like just random vandalism. Meanwhile my job's in chaos and I'm going to be down an important worker because his wife is probably going to die today and I'm supposed to cover for him getting data to the media for publishing property and business filings while trying to get the new database export function working properly. FML
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Its 5 o'clock somewhere. Drink Heavily and Often. Become the Liquor.
 
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Amorgus

Amorgus

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Danko said:
Its 5 o'clock somewhere. Drink Heavily and Often. Become the Liquor.
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I still ha e to drive the car out to a glass shop at 2 so no liquor yet. I also have a seat full of glass and no shop vac around as of yet. No regular vacuum or broom is going to take care of this
 
Danko

Danko

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Amorgus said:
I still ha e to drive the car out to a glass shop at 2 so no liquor yet. I also have a seat full of glass and no shop vac around as of yet. No regular vacuum or broom is going to take care of this
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Have you tried SafeLite? They will usually drive to your location and replace the glass on site and you can drink while they do it. Carbombs may be appropriate in this situation.
 
Amorgus

Amorgus

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Danko said:
Have you tried SafeLite? They will usually drive to your location and replace the glass on site and you can drink while they do it. Carbombs may be appropriate in this situation.
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I have an appointment with them this afternoon. They can't come to me because I don't have a garage and it's rainy out. I got a shop vac from the maintenance crew and am good to drive now.
 
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Amorgus

Amorgus

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WestrnPhlyr said:
:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

Sorry (for your paintball experience), but this made me literally laugh out loud.
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I posted the pics of me hunched over in agony a while back. Some of the worst pain I ever felt and I nearly threw up. Got me right in the mushroom tip. The culprits high fived afterwards and said they got their money's worth. Then I got my money's worth when I cleaned the poker table and won the 50/50 raffle. Sweet sweet revenge.
 
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LegionOfDoom91

LegionOfDoom91

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Captain Dave Poulin said:
Yep. "Above the Law," the first time you saw it back in the day, was the first time you saw that kind of Revenge-Fu, where he just didn't give a **** how bad he hurt guys, you know? Just a total badass. The next three movies were more of the same, with diminishing returns. Then he just turned into complete human slop and started wearing crazy jackets to cover his burgeoning lard. The best thing was this one, I will find it, wait ... "Out of Reach" from 2004:

"Billy Ray Lansing, a former covert agent turned survivalist, discovers that the foster program he is using to help a young girl is actually a human trafficking network. Lancing heads overseas to find the girl and shut down the operation."

So he's a survivalist wearing this ridiculous buckskin trenchcoat, right, and at the end of the movie, having completed his mission, they show him walking through the forest in this ridiculous buckskin trenchcoat ... and it was clearly a stunt double, walking through the forest. The fat bastard lol.
Click to expand...

He’s made some crazy shit for even his standards these past two decades with like straight to DVD shit that’s on Nexflix. He’s obviously put on a shit ton of weight too. That stuff isn’t even watchable.

But his 80’s/90’s stuff is more so what I was talking about. I was watching Out for Justice last night.
 
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Captain Dave Poulin

Captain Dave Poulin

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LegionOfDoom91 said:
He’s made some crazy **** for even his standards these past two decades with like straight to DVD **** that’s on Nexflix. He’s obviously put on a **** ton of weight too. That stuff isn’t even watchable.

But his 80’s/90’s stuff is more so what I was talking about. I was watching Out for Justice last night.
Click to expand...

Yep, that's one of those first four that were pretty cool in a stupid way, rather than just stupid in a funny way.
 
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PALE PWNR

PALE PWNR

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Also just got back from Venom. I liked it. It wasn't fantastic but I enjoyed the movie. In excited to see where this new marvel universe goes
 
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