Jags
Mildly Disturbed
From your fingers to God's ears. (That sounds wrong. Get your fingers out of God's ears.) I hope it goes that way for him whether we take him or not (unless he lands in the NFC East, then I hope he gets double-Theismanned.) (Not literally.)
(Then again, if he somehow ends up a Cowboy, I'll want him to suffer at least a little. Something like diarrhea. Maybe drowsiness, irritability, bad grammar, night blindness, constipation, hair loss, bad breath, paranoia, high sticking, tennis elbow, brain tumors, back pain, ignorance, low birth weight, kleptomania, impotence, earwax buildup, flatulence, bulimia, swollen testicles, yeast infections, laziness, nymphomania, poor judgment, poverty, pancreatitis, technophobia, jock itch, sunburn, ringworm, terrorism, cavities, in-grown toenails, anal leakage, impulse shopping, herpes, gout, bad hair days, divorce, insanity, shortness of breath, late fees, bad dreams, runny eggs, projectile vomiting, offensive pass interference, roaming charges, sleet, nuclear proliferation, pinkeye, boredom, alimony, brain freeze, yellow fever, fuchsia fever, tooth decay, civil war, brief nudity, painful erections, death, obscene phone calls, parking tickets, immodesty, chicken pox, rabies, tax audits, skunky beer, penis envy, and a perpetual combination of that feeling you get when you almost sneeze but don't, and the one where you tip your chair back a little too far but catch yourself at the last second.)
EDIT: (Also hepatitis A, B, and D, in that order.)
