OT: 119th Obsequious Banter Thread: April Foods Day

[Danko]

You never see/hear or witness Tom Cruise in public anymore either in Tabloids, Award Shows, elsewhere. That guy is so far insulated in Scientology he's damn near dead until he rises again in the next Mission Impossible

 

[ajgoal]

I legit wish I could go to Japan in end of March/beginning of April to see all the cherry blossom trees. Just sit there, watching for hours on end at the beauty of it all.

We did this last year. Caught the tail end, was really something.

 

[mja]

So...my wife is currently torturing me by listening to the new Taylor Swift album to see what all of the fuss is about. Her assessment thus far: "It just sounds like I'm listening to the same song, I don't get it." That's dead accurate, and yet she persists in trying to understand how people could think this is anything other than mediocre pop music and is now on her second way through the album.

I've been mostly ambivalent about T-Swift until today, but no longer. She must be stopped.

 

[trostol]

So...my wife is currently torturing me by listening to the new Taylor Swift album to see what all of the fuss is about. Her assessment thus far: "It just sounds like I'm listening to the same song, I don't get it." That's dead accurate, and yet she persists in trying to understand how people could think this is anything other than mediocre pop music and is now on her second way through the album.

I've been mostly ambivalent about T-Swift until today, but no longer. She must be stopped.

You can't stop her...might not even contain her...unless....

 

[Surrounded By Ahos]

So...my wife is currently torturing me by listening to the new Taylor Swift album to see what all of the fuss is about. Her assessment thus far: "It just sounds like I'm listening to the same song, I don't get it." That's dead accurate, and yet she persists in trying to understand how people could think this is anything other than mediocre pop music and is now on her second way through the album.

I've been mostly ambivalent about T-Swift until today, but no longer. She must be stopped.

I've not listened to it (nor do I plan to), but I came across some of the lyrics and they got me going like this:

Truth, dare, spin bottles
You know how to ball, I know Aristotle
Brand-new, full throttle
Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto

My friends used to play a game where
We would pick a decade
We wished we could live in instead of this
I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists

 

[DancingPanther]

So...my wife is currently torturing me by listening to the new Taylor Swift album to see what all of the fuss is about. Her assessment thus far: "It just sounds like I'm listening to the same song, I don't get it." That's dead accurate, and yet she persists in trying to understand how people could think this is anything other than mediocre pop music and is now on her second way through the album.

I've been mostly ambivalent about T-Swift until today, but no longer. She must be stopped.

It's not so bad so far. I'm 6 songs in. So Long London is terrific, though the only song I've heard so far that I'll listen to again.

Folklore is by far her best work.

What really needs to stop is the 2 hour run times. That's not a Taylor Swift thing, that's a "streaming service" thing. There's no media limit anymore since we don't use CDs, records, etc. Bring back one sitting listens.

 

[Beef Invictus]

So...my wife is currently torturing me by listening to the new Taylor Swift album to see what all of the fuss is about. Her assessment thus far: "It just sounds like I'm listening to the same song, I don't get it." That's dead accurate, and yet she persists in trying to understand how people could think this is anything other than mediocre pop music and is now on her second way through the album.

I've been mostly ambivalent about T-Swift until today, but no longer. She must be stopped.

It's a dangerous thing to say.

 

[Beef Invictus]

I've not listened to it (nor do I plan to), but I came across some of the lyrics and they got me going like this:


View attachment 855998

"The great depression sounds great, let's try it with dysentery"

 

[Magua]

My friends used to play a game where
We would pick a decade
We wished we could live in instead of this
I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists

*smallpox has entered the chat*

What really needs to stop is the 2 hour run times.

Many of my favorite albums are 40 minutes.

This is a movie problem too. Self-editing is a lost art.

 

[mja]

I've not listened to it (nor do I plan to), but I came across some of the lyrics and they got me going like this:


View attachment 855998

Never thought I'd live to see the day where someone would try to rhyme Aristotle with Grand Theft Auto, but here we are.

It's not so bad so far. I'm 6 songs in. So Long London is terrific, though the only song I've heard so far that I'll listen to again.

Folklore is by far her best work.

What really needs to stop is the 2 hour run times. That's not a Taylor Swift thing, that's a "streaming service" thing. There's no media limit anymore since we don't use CDs, records, etc. Bring back one sitting listens.

As I said, I've been fairly ambivalent about her. Cromulent pop star and all, but I personally don't find her particularly compelling as an artist. The only rough equivalent to her that I can think of off the top of my head in terms of fame, fanbase devotion, and chart dominance is Madonna, who was a damn sight more interesting. Somehow Swift is like a virginal Snow White as opposed to Madonna's femme fatale, in spite of constantly signing about her own failed relationships. I'll admit that I'm not terribly familiar with her body of work, but has she done anything as culturally provocative as any of half a dozen decades-old Madonna songs?

*smallpox has entered the chat*



Many of my favorite albums are 40 minutes.

This is a movie problem too. Self-editing is a lost art.

I think the runtime is what broke me today, especially on the third lap - which the love of my life mercifully cut short - especially since everything sounds so much the same. Her voice is always so high in the mix, the production is always so crystal clean, she always has the same tone, it all mostly covers similar melodic and thematic ground. It's passable in 4 minute bits here and there on the radio, but 2 f***ing hours!!! Also, her worst is offensive. LWYMMD might have been a hit, but it's terrible, like hang the DJ terrible. Bad Blood is a bad song. Similarly, that damn Florida song from this record is the only thing that sounded like it's own song, unfortunately it just sounds like a bad Florence & The Machine song, and lo and behold it is!

 

[DancingPanther]

Never thought I'd live to see the day where someone would try to rhyme Aristotle with Grand Theft Auto, but here we are.



As I said, I've been fairly ambivalent about her. Cromulent pop star and all, but I personally don't find her particularly compelling as an artist. The only rough equivalent to her that I can think of off the top of my head in terms of fame, fanbase devotion, and chart dominance is Madonna, who was a damn sight more interesting. Somehow Swift is like a virginal Snow White as opposed to Madonna's femme fatale, in spite of constantly signing about her own failed relationships. I'll admit that I'm not terribly familiar with her body of work, but has she done anything as culturally provocative as any of half a dozen decades-old Madonna songs?



I think the runtime is what broke me today, especially on the third lap - which the love of my life mercifully cut short - especially since everything sounds so much the same. Her voice is always so high in the mix, the production is always so crystal clean, she always has the same tone, it all mostly covers similar melodic and thematic ground. It's passable in 4 minute bits here and there on the radio, but 2 f***ing hours!!! Also, her worst is offensive. LWYMMD might have been a hit, but it's terrible, like hang the DJ terrible. Bad Blood is a bad song. Similarly, that damn Florida song from this record is the only thing that sounded like it's own song, unfortunately it just sounds like a bad Florence & The Machine song, and lo and behold it is!

Southeast Asian countries are fighting to lure her to play an Eras show because it makes that much a difference to the COUNTRY'S economy. They have literally argued like school children about this, saying it's not fair one of them gets 2 shows and no one else gets any. Taylor is THE cultural phenomenon of the 2010s to now.

I am not a Swifty. I know the names to a small amount of her songs (most from one album) and know the words to even less, and completely agree that her lows are f***ing horrendous. That said, and it's hard for me to articulate this, but I am in a way excited to be "a part" of this. This is an all time wave we're riding with her music career. The numbers are unbelievable. The record is selling more in less than a day than the most popular records of the last 40 years have in their entire debut weeks! It's just amazing. It's like watching Ohtani lead the league in homers and Ks- even though it isn't your team, it's something I'll never forget.

I would recommend Folklore to anyone. Perfectly reasonable runtime and a nice acoustic, not-pop album that's not her complaining about her exes. Invisible String, Betty, Mad Woman are among the best imo

 

[Striiker]

So...my wife is currently torturing me by listening to the new Taylor Swift album to see what all of the fuss is about. Her assessment thus far: "It just sounds like I'm listening to the same song, I don't get it." That's dead accurate, and yet she persists in trying to understand how people could think this is anything other than mediocre pop music and is now on her second way through the album.

I've been mostly ambivalent about T-Swift until today, but no longer. She must be stopped.

Because 95% of her fanbase are kids/teenagers and kids/teenagers are stupid, gullible, and easily brainwashed.

If they're told the music is great, they'll convince themselves that it is.

 

[Magua]

Because 95% of her fanbase are kids/teenagers and kids/teenagers are stupid, gullible, and easily brainwashed.

If they're told the music is great, they'll convince themselves that it is.

You don’t even listen to music. Taylor Swift could be Mozart for all you know. But you don’t know Mozart either. FIFA thread is that way *points virtually*.

That said, and it's hard for me to articulate this, but I am in a way excited to be "a part" of this. This is an all time wave we're riding with her music career.

We’re also riding the wave of the MCU and Avatar. Let’s not push it.

 

[Striiker]

You don’t even listen to music. Taylor Swift could be Mozart for all you know. But you don’t know Mozart either. FIFA thread is that way *points virtually*.

I listen to some. I’m unwillingly exposed to most.

I’m just extremely picky due to my flawless taste in all things, which is why I don’t listen to more things more often. Most are shit and I refuse to settle.

Regardless, let me know when she has a song in a F&F movie or a FIFA/Madden/NHL game. Until then, she’s nothing.

 

[DancingPanther]

You don’t even listen to music. Taylor Swift could be Mozart for all you know. But you don’t know Mozart either. FIFA thread is that way *points virtually*.



We’re also riding the wave of the MCU and Avatar. Let’s not push it.

Avatar didn't outsell every other movie of the last 10 years prior to it's release in a day though. This is a Beatles level phenomenon. It's pretty neat. Speaking of the Beatles, she's now second behind them in albums debuting at #1.

It sounds like I'm stanning her. I'm not. By the time I'm finished listening through this 2 hour f***ing process of an album, I'm sure I'll come away with 3-5 of the 30some tracks saved into my liked songs on Spotify to listen to a few times a year. I just am fascinated by what's going on

 

[trostol]

i know of one song by her, but couldn't tell you the name..only know it cause of work's occasionally ok but mostly awful music

 

[Beef Invictus]

*smallpox has entered the chat*



Many of my favorite albums are 40 minutes.

This is a movie problem too. Self-editing is a lost art.

Double albums are always too much for me

 

[DancingPanther]

Double albums are always too much for me

I mean listen I am a well known Beatles lover and The White Album is a thing. But even that was "only" 90mins. It's not unusual for a single album to be 90 mins nowadays. Drives me bonkers

 

[wankstifier]

Double albums are always too much for me

She missed an opportunity to release 420 tortured poems

 

[JojoTheWhale]

You can do double albums and pull it off. It’s just more difficult. It’s rebuilding without picking in the top 2ish.

Double Nickels on the Dime is an 80 minute long all time classic, but it’s got 45 songs on it. More of that would help.

 

[mja]

You can do double albums and pull it off. It’s just more difficult. It’s rebuilding without picking in the top 2ish.

Double Nickels on the Dime is an 80 minute long all time classic, but it’s got 45 songs on it. More of that would help.

And DNotD is sonically interesting. There's exciting stuff happening throughout its runtime, new ground being covered. It also tackles myriad compelling themes about contemporary society. It's not 2 hours of same-sounding down-tempo faux-deep navel gazing of the most famous person in the world.

 

[mja]

Southeast Asian countries are fighting to lure her to play an Eras show because it makes that much a difference to the COUNTRY'S economy. They have literally argued like school children about this, saying it's not fair one of them gets 2 shows and no one else gets any. Taylor is THE cultural phenomenon of the 2010s to now.

I am not a Swifty. I know the names to a small amount of her songs (most from one album) and know the words to even less, and completely agree that her lows are f***ing horrendous. That said, and it's hard for me to articulate this, but I am in a way excited to be "a part" of this. This is an all time wave we're riding with her music career. The numbers are unbelievable. The record is selling more in less than a day than the most popular records of the last 40 years have in their entire debut weeks! It's just amazing. It's like watching Ohtani lead the league in homers and Ks- even though it isn't your team, it's something I'll never forget.

I would recommend Folklore to anyone. Perfectly reasonable runtime and a nice acoustic, not-pop album that's not her complaining about her exes. Invisible String, Betty, Mad Woman are among the best imo

Avatar didn't outsell every other movie of the last 10 years prior to it's release in a day though. This is a Beatles level phenomenon. It's pretty neat. Speaking of the Beatles, she's now second behind them in albums debuting at #1.

It sounds like I'm stanning her. I'm not. By the time I'm finished listening through this 2 hour f***ing process of an album, I'm sure I'll come away with 3-5 of the 30some tracks saved into my liked songs on Spotify to listen to a few times a year. I just am fascinated by what's going on

Deny it all you want, but we're on to you, pal!

But seriously, I get that she is a major global phenomenon, on par with only the likes of Elvis, The Beatles, and Michael Jackson. I just don't quite understand why. I get Elvis, I get the Beatles, I get MJ. Each in their own way were revolutionary. TS I just don't really get what all of the fuss is about. She's a cromulent pop star who mines her personal life to write safe songs that are somehow relatable to the average 20 and 30-something woman in spite of her massive fame. What is revolutionary about any of that? Is she just the perfect avatar for Gen Z & Millennial female self-actualization? Is that it?

 

[Beef Invictus]

Deny it all you want, but we're on to you, pal!

But seriously, I get that she is a major global phenomenon, on par with only the likes of Elvis, The Beatles, and Michael Jackson. I just don't quite understand why. I get Elvis, I get the Beatles, I get MJ. Each in their own way were revolutionary. TS I just don't really get what all of the fuss is about. She's a cromulent pop star who mines her personal life to write safe songs that are somehow relatable to the average 20 and 30-something woman in spite of her massive fame. What is revolutionary about any of that? Is she just the perfect avatar for Gen Z & Millennial female self-actualization? Is that it?

Yeah. It's cool to watch. And for all the complaining about the lack of variety or how it's more of the same...very very few musicians churn out as many solid songs as her.

 

[Rebels57]

So...my wife is currently torturing me by listening to the new Taylor Swift album to see what all of the fuss is about. Her assessment thus far: "It just sounds like I'm listening to the same song, I don't get it." That's dead accurate, and yet she persists in trying to understand how people could think this is anything other than mediocre pop music and is now on her second way through the album.

I've been mostly ambivalent about T-Swift until today, but no longer. She must be stopped.

Ive been saying this for years. Its generic pop slop being masqueraded as important art. Swifties are a cult of personality.

 

[JojoTheWhale]

The Stones were generic pop slop. Van Halen was even worse than that. KISS is devoid of value by design. None of this is new.

And DNotD is sonically interesting. There's exciting stuff happening throughout its runtime, new ground being covered. It also tackles myriad compelling themes about contemporary society. It's not 2 hours of same-sounding down-tempo faux-deep navel gazing of the most famous person in the world.

I haven't heard it, so I can't specifically comment but I would guess from your description I would have the same complaint. The same shit over and over is not fun in any way.

My hottest musical take is that many of the best pop albums are boring. I want things that try and fail too. And most importantly if your best and favorite are the same lists, you're a boring person.