“Yeah, dude, they’re about to close the door,” I said, laughing at the obviousness that he was not at the airport.
“Dammit,” Chad said. “I set my alarm for the time the flight was taking off.”
...
You see, U.S. customs was super slow and he didn’t leave enough time.
What he didn’t realize is that cool little Nexus card in his wallet — an expedited way to get into Canada that he and I got approved for the previous summer by driving seven hours together to the Warroad U.S.-Canada border — also gave him access to Global Entry, and he could have skipped that 2 1/2-hour customs line by going to a kiosk like I did.
I arrived in Tampa at 11:30 a.m. Chad ended up arriving at 11:30 p.m.
...
He has been known to rent cars in the wrong city, was once actually inside his apartment’s bedroom unaware that the rest of the apartment was being robbed and is on a first-name basis with the cashier at the impound lot.
Not only has Chad gotten his car towed multiple times, he once got my car towed because he told me it was guest parking at his apartment.
It wasn’t.
Once in Denver, I pulled him away from an intense Golden Tee game with the broadcasters to give him directions how to get back to the hotel he was staying at.
I said, “You walk straight for a mile and you’ll be there. Don’t make any turns. Walk straight!”
The next morning at breakfast, Chad greets me with, “Oh my God, I got so lost last night.”
