heh i'm not mad at you, I just feel powerless and doctors i've seen all made me feel like I wasn't worth a damn.
i'm getting better, i'm eating well and I run, i'm down to being sick maybe once a week. I'm still very scared of going out though. I'm still on the waiting list to see a psychiatrist to hopefully get medication and help me with that.
Like right now I feel good, been feeling good for the past 4-5 days, i'm positive and i'm getting happier but I always have this sword of Damocles over my head reminding me that if I get sick just one night my brain will go back to the "my efforts are pointless and i'm never going to get better" state of mind
The psychiatric supplement to your therapy will prove of immeasureable benefit. I have no doubt that you will manage well and vanquish as best as you can both the physical and mental parts of IBS.
Although I have an excellent GastroENT doctor, the problems are the complicated nature of my diseases, Crohn's and what is called Igg4 related cholangitis (another autoimmune disease, of the liver) No drugs that I have tried over the past two years have helped. Some have put me in hospital because of severe reactions to them. I await more tests to help define the problem, and to see how things have worsened. It is basically all downhill, or uphill of a struggle for me. Being sick in some measure every bloody single day has taken a heavy toll, but I do have what can be called support systems. Plus I have been on anti-depressants for other issues stemming back to my grad study days when my world started to get seriously unpleasant. So there is mental stability, and knowing what I am facing, and how to cope, make it possible to get through the day. Of course there are side effects from the prednisone I have to take, which adds to the misery.
Take it one half day at a time, and enjoy those things in life that you can. From a dietary point of view, there is much I no longer miss eating anymore, but alas too many days I am afraid to eat, lest I fiddlepiddle off my gut, colon, and liver.
Life is a highway. Strive not to be roadkill.